╌>

Death in a Family

  

Category:  News & Politics

Via:  jerry-verlinger  •  7 years ago  •  26 comments

Death in a Family

I haven't been around for a while due to a couple of back to back personal problems.  First, in early March I started to feel not so well. I felt very tired all day, constantly coughing and dealing with what I thought was the affect of the incurable Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis (IPF)  I had been diagnosed of having 2 - 3 years ago. In a way that was the reason for my constant coughing spells, however the chest congestion I had was unknowingly compounded by a case of pneumonia I had been carrying for weeks. By the last week in March I was hospitalized, which was a good thing, because finding the pneumonia caused them to give me medication that allowed me to feel much better, and now I feel better (physically) than I have felt for months.

But the pneumonia I had was not the worst of what has happened. When I was dealing with the constant coughing, my son-in-law, Thomas (47), was also dealing with excessive and constant coughing. We both thought we had the flu, but Thomas was not so lucky. I had pneumonia, but the doctors found Thomas had liver cancer that started to spread into his lungs, it was really serious ...... and incurable.

My daughter, Melissa (42), was stunned and shocked learning that she, within the next few weeks was going to become a widow, with a son, Thomas Jr., age 8 and two daughters, Larha 12, and Brittany, 19. But a 'few weeks' was not in the offing. For unknown reasons the cancer was spreading exponentially. Thomas was hospitalized in the afternoon of Friday May 5th and he died at 1:30 AM the morning of Sunday May 7th. I was there in the hospital with Melissa when he died ..... it was really terrible.

 Story image for panther mountain inn from Glens Falls Post-Star   Thomas J. Carroll            

So, we have been dealing with this totally unexpected loss for the past couple of weeks. Melissa is a very strong woman and is adjusting to the sudden changes in her life, being mostly concerned about dealing with her children. Also, she is in the process of opening a new restaurant, so that is keeping her busy and keeps her mind off Thomas ....almost. I have been keeping close tabs on her with daily phone calls and visits to her home. She will be OK.... almost.

Thomas was an icon in this town. He worked with his parents, who, for 55 years owned and operated the Panther Mountain Inn, a hotel and tavern, and the largest business in Chestertown. The funeral was massive, the whole town is feeling the loss of our Thomas J. Carroll. 

So ....., that's where I've been. It hasn't been fun, but it's time I started to get busy and post a few things on NewsTalkers, I'm sure it will help get my mind settled. 


Tags

jrDiscussion - desc
[]
 
XXJefferson51
Senior Guide
link   XXJefferson51    7 years ago

Sympathy  and condolences on your and your family's loss.  I hope your beliefs help you find some comfort in this time of terrible Lisa.  In times like this we remember our humanity and mortality and set aside differences and express support.  We will keep you all in our prayers.  

 
 
 
Jerry Verlinger
Freshman Silent
link   seeder  Jerry Verlinger  replied to  XXJefferson51   7 years ago

Thank you Corny, and I agree, these are the times when varying opinions have no meaning. At times like this you  always show with your condolences, and I appreciate that.

Yes I do have my beliefs, unconventional as they are, I do believe in our soul and what happens to it when we pass. Thomas is in a good place.

Thank you for your prayers.

 

 
 
 
Jerry Verlinger
Freshman Silent
link   seeder  Jerry Verlinger    7 years ago

I miss my son-in-law. It's hard to believe what happened. A month ago we were laughing and joking and arguing over if my grandson should be allowed to have a "sleepover" with his friends. 

Now he's gone.

Do not take life for granted. Thomas was only 47 years old when cancer caught up with him. That cancer dragon is chasing every one of us, and will continue to do so until they find a cure.

Make regular and timely check-up visits to your doctor.

 

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
link   Buzz of the Orient    7 years ago

I am sorry for your loss and that of your daughter and her children. It is times like these that the whole community of NT gets together with the singular thought of condolences in mind. I do not think that it is a time for you to wield a broad brush like a weapon and cast stones at those who may well be sympathetic of your grief.  If I were you I would take back your words "...our totally misinformed conservative members."

 
 
 
Jerry Verlinger
Freshman Silent
link   seeder  Jerry Verlinger  replied to  Buzz of the Orient   7 years ago

If I were you I would take back your words "...our totally misinformed conservative members."

I suppose you have a point there Buzz. The original intent of the article started as a private comment to Perrie explaining my absence and getting me started posting articles on NT, but as usual, I got carried away and decided to post the memo as an article.

Hence your suggestion, I have revised the closing comment in the article, eliminating the "misinformed conservative members" part, you're correct, it should not have been used in this article. 

However, apologies that "broad bush" you referred to would be difficult because it is the only brush I use when I am dealing with a certain wing of our political spectrum. 

 
 
 
Aeonpax
Freshman Silent
link   Aeonpax    7 years ago

My prayers go with you and your loved ones.

 

 
 
 
Jerry Verlinger
Freshman Silent
link   seeder  Jerry Verlinger  replied to  Aeonpax   7 years ago

Thank you for your prayers Aeon.

It's really good to see you posting on NT once again.

 
 
 
Spikegary
Junior Quiet
link   Spikegary    7 years ago

Jerry, I'm so sorry for the loss of your son-in-law.  You guys have had a tough go of it lately.  I hope that this is the end of sad times, at least for a while.  You deserve a break.  Please know, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

 
 
 
Jerry Verlinger
Freshman Silent
link   seeder  Jerry Verlinger  replied to  Spikegary   7 years ago

Thank you for your kind thoughts and prayers Spike. 

Yes, there has been some constant pressure from the cancer dragon roaming around our family , but this Thomas thing came from out of nowhere. You're right, the Dragon needs to back off for a long while, ....we need a break.

 
 
 
Spikegary
Junior Quiet
link   Spikegary  replied to  Jerry Verlinger   7 years ago

BTW, headed to Caroga to the family's lake property tomorrow.  I can't wait-looking forward to unplugging from civilization for a little bit.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
link   Kavika     7 years ago

My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours, Jerry.

 
 
 
Jerry Verlinger
Freshman Silent
link   seeder  Jerry Verlinger  replied to  Kavika   7 years ago

Thanks for stopping by Kavika, and thank you for your prayers.

 
 
 
PJ
Masters Quiet
link   PJ    7 years ago

Jerry- there are no words that can express my heartfelt sorrow with this loss to your family and friends.  Even though Thomas was young it sounds like he touched many lives.  I'm glad he gave you and your daughter three unique and incredible pieces of himself through his children.  They will be the strength for your daughter because there's a superwoman in every mother when it comes to our children.  

 
 
 
Jerry Verlinger
Freshman Silent
link   seeder  Jerry Verlinger  replied to  PJ   7 years ago

Thank you for your kind words PJ. 

Yes, Thomas was known and loved by the people in this town. During the funeral his son, Thomas Jr.,  aka "Little T", said to his mother he didn't know grown men cried.

 

 
 
 
Nona62
Professor Silent
link   Nona62    7 years ago

Jerry, I send my most sincere  condolences to you and your family.  He sounds like he was an amazing person.  My thoughts and prayers are with all of you.

 
 
 
Jerry Verlinger
Freshman Silent
link   seeder  Jerry Verlinger  replied to  Nona62   7 years ago

Thank you Nona.

Yes, he was a special guy. and the main reason Melissa decided to marry him.

We appreciate your thoughts and prayers.

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
link   Enoch    7 years ago

Dear Friend Jerry Verlinger: May the Source of all comfort, healing, peace and inspiration bring you and yours all this in more in your time of grief, mourning and your personal illness recovery.

You have my private email.

If misplaced, use this site for a private message and I can resend contact options.

We are fellow upstate New Yorker's.

I am less than a day of driving from you.

I am but a message away to be there for you and yours in any way you wish on your terms.

 
 
 
1ofmany
Sophomore Silent
link   1ofmany    7 years ago

My condolences to you and your family. 

 
 
 
sixpick
Professor Quiet
link   sixpick    7 years ago

Jerry, so sorry to hear of the loss of your son in law.  I know your son is or has been dealing with a life threatening situation as well.  The last time you talked of your son, he was doing much better, which was very good news.  You have all my sympathy and hope for better days ahead for you and your family.

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
link   JohnRussell    7 years ago

Condolences on your loss Jerry. It sounds like Thomas was a great guy.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
link   Perrie Halpern R.A.    7 years ago

Sorry for your families loss, Jerry. I can tell you were very fond of your son in law, and I know that this must be very hard on your daughter and her family. It also must be very shocking. Find comfort in the fact that he didn't suffer very long. I hope that your family heals from such a terrible loss, and that better days are ahead. 

Glad you are feeling better, though. 

 
 
 
Jonathan P
Sophomore Silent
link   Jonathan P    7 years ago

May his memory be a blessing for you.

 
 
 
Uptownchick
Junior Silent
link   Uptownchick    7 years ago

So very sorry to hear of your family's loss, Jerry.  Having lost my husband suddenly at only 57 years old, just 2 1/2 years ago, I can understand what you're going through.  My thoughts are with all of you, especially your daughter and grandchildren.  

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   Dowser    7 years ago

Jerry, I'm so sad to learn of your family's loss, and just want you to know that you and yours are in my thoughts and prayers.  Many hugs to you and your family!

 
 
 
Randy
Sophomore Participates
link   Randy    7 years ago

My condolences and thoughts are with you and your family and friends.

 
 
 
A. Macarthur
Professor Guide
link   A. Macarthur    7 years ago

Words are sometimes consoling but never adequate … still, I offer my condolences, and, if the family has need of assistance, please do not hesitate to ask.

 
 

Who is online



59 visitors