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MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)

Living wills...

  
By:  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)  •  Personal  •  4 years ago  •  23 comments

Living wills...
Death is not the opposite of life, but a part of it. Haruki Murakami

This subject is a little dark, but something that I think people need to share with his / her loved ones even if it's just in case something happens. My mother and stepfather have a living will and I had to sign it as the executor. I have no idea if my father or stepmom has anything like this in place.

The company I work for has certain free services that employees can take advantage of and I made it a point to create a living will with the free template provided. I don't think very many people did this, but one of the things I stipulated in it, is the way I want my body to be handled following death. I understand why coffins were invented, but with modern advancements in sanitization, there's not much need for them anymore. Embalming is to preserve a body for a longer viewing and most people don't need, want or expect a week long funeral. I also don't want my ashes to be stored somewhere, in a closet, in the ground... and it's actually not great for the environment to burn bodies... not that I'm a complete environmental nut job, but I try to do a little to counteract my Firebird's carbon output. jrSmiley_86_smiley_image.gif

There's a near by cemetery that provides the service that I want for after I die. I want what's called a natural or green burial. No embalming and you can specify if you want to donate your organs first. No casket / coffin. You're simply wrapped in natural linen and dropped in the ground to become worm food and compost for new plant growth. I can give life after death. I find that far more desirable than being burned and turned into ashes, or pumped full of chemicals and taking up more ground space than I need to, unable to be anything except a body in a sealed box. The other bonus is, it's inexpensive; the most expensive thing is a headstone or marker, if my family chooses to get one. The other method, if for some reason I can't do a natural burial [never know what will change; laws, cemetery rules, etc.], is to be put on a "body farm" to help the forensic sciences. Again, being put into a "body farm" is performing a function, teaching people, and then becoming worm food; because they don't embalm for that either. 

What are your thoughts on this subject? Have you thought about these things? Have you shared this information with your family? Do you have a living will?

**NO POLITICS**

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MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)
Junior Guide
1  author  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)    4 years ago

A little dark, but still important.

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
1.1  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka) @1    4 years ago

My understanding of a living will is somewhat different from yours.  Although you have called yours a "living" will, the instructions that you provided are for what you wish to happen after death.  A living will as I know it is to provide direction for what you want to happen before you pass on, but are unable to provide instruction, such as if you are in a coma, or incompetent, including instructions of whether or not to "pull the plug".  Otherwise why would it be called a "living" will?  The instructions that you have spoken of would be instructions to your executor in your last will and testament, although an executor takes total control and is not bound by them, so you would want your executor to be a person that you trust to do what you have directed. 

My comment is based on the law of Ontario, Canada, and may not be applicable where you are.  I hope any other lawyers will check in and provide an opinion here.  In Ontario, the executor does not sign either a living or regular will, and in fact the two witnesses should be entirely different.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
1.1.1  Trout Giggles  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @1.1    4 years ago

I believe that is how a living will is defined in most US states, too. 

 
 
 
MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)
Junior Guide
1.1.2  author  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @1.1    4 years ago

All that is in there too. So, I suppose it's not only a living will, but a regular one too.

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
1.1.3  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @1.1    4 years ago

I want to clarify something in my comment.  When I said the exector is not bound by your instructions, I meant your instructions concerning your body.

 
 
 
MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)
Junior Guide
1.1.4  author  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @1.1.3    4 years ago

Oh, I understand that, but part of choosing the right executor for you [one that would fulfill your wishes] is part of it and having a long discussion on what you want and why is a good thing. I know my stepdad and mother want to be cremated and I have a "cremation card" that pays for their cremation already; they prepaid for future cremation. I know it sounds odd, but it's true. 

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
1.1.5  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka) @1.1.4    4 years ago

I don't know what RBG had in her will, but I doubt that she asked to be lying in state at the SCOTUS.  In fact in her religion, a deceased is supposed to be buried as soon as possible.

 
 
 
Vic Eldred
Professor Principal
2  Vic Eldred    4 years ago

One thing you left out is the ever growing demand for space that cemetery graves require. Your ideas may actually become a necessity at some point.

 
 
 
MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)
Junior Guide
2.1  author  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)  replied to  Vic Eldred @2    4 years ago

I kind of hope it does. Headstones or markers can be done vertically for space saving; like the memorials for fallen soldiers. That cemetery that I want to be buried in has beautiful foliage and mature trees.

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
Professor Guide
3  Bob Nelson    4 years ago

Interesting idea. I'll need to think on it...

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
4  Trout Giggles    4 years ago

I saw something about having one's ashes placed in a root ball and then a tree is planted. That I would like to do

 
 
 
MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)
Junior Guide
4.1  author  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)  replied to  Trout Giggles @4    4 years ago

I've seen someone use the ashes of their loved one in a memorial tattoo.

 
 
 
Freefaller
Professor Quiet
5  Freefaller    4 years ago

As best as possible I've set things up to be cremated (organ donation first) and then to be poured out off a cliff on the ocean, but truthfully at that point I really won't know or care what happens.

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
6  CB    4 years ago

As far as I know without pulling it out to look at it, it's a living will. The health 'component' is in the set of complete documents, plural. supplied. In the area of California I live, you can not be buried outside of a cement container or a 'container,' I have been informed. It is designed to keep bodies from floating up in the event of heavy rains and times of flooding. Of course, you can be cremated, given to medical science, or given to body farm (as you stated).

Also, there may be an issue of what (if any) medical condition in the body is not licensed to make contact with the soil in a state, city, or locale.

 
 
 
MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)
Junior Guide
6.1  author  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)  replied to  CB @6    4 years ago
Also, there may be an issue of what (if any) medical condition in the body is not licensed to make contact with the soil in a state, city, or locale .

This is true too. If someone had undergone chemotherapy shortly before [or going through it when they passed] passing, the state may not allow someone to have a natural burial. I suppose I didn't think of that because of my family history. I know that my husband wants to be cremated even though he doesn't have any documentation and I would do what he wants. Well, really what he said he'd like is to have his body just dropped into the dense forests of the UP because it's free, but that's not really allowed. jrSmiley_86_smiley_image.gif

See... when my Catholic grandmother passed, even though none of us are Catholic [some were raised as Catholic and no longer practice the religion], I made sure she received the Catholic mass that she wanted in a beautiful [and old] local church. When I told the priest that it wasn't for us, but for her, he didn't hesitate in agreeing to the mass. If it would've been up to others in my family, that mass probably would not have happened.