MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)

Frustrations and stress

  
By:  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)  •  Personal  •  one week ago  •  49 comments

Frustrations and stress

512

My stepdad has been in and out of the hospital and I've been helping my mother with many random things. My mother in law is now going through radiation after the mass in her lungs was biopsied and was found to be malignant. We're strapped for cash for several reasons; albeit not one is frivolous spending. Three "kids" in the house: "the adopted one" - 19 years old, daughter - 17 years old, and son - 12 years old. They eat.... constantly.... and a lot and groceries are getting more expensive. My husband was off for a week after hurting his back; therefore, not getting paid and out of pocket expenses for unexpected doctor's visits. The dog has a cyst on his head that keeps growing, but I had to reschedule his surgery, because we don't have the money. My electric and water costs have risen, because we're home all day, but also because the rates were raised. I won't have an issue with my gas bill until I have to turn on the heat; so far, we've been lucky there, it's been warmer than usual.

This morning, my power went out [and I'm working from home], so I went next door to find out if it was a power outage or if the city turned off my power... my neighbor had power, so that told me what it was... They wouldn't allow me to pay $600 and let me have power for the next few days; the city wouldn't restore my power until I paid them $930.  My wonderful neighbor, despite my protests, handed me $500 and said, "We're family. Do you need more"? I get paid Friday; she will get her money back on Friday. This is the same neighbor that my daughter and I were helping in regard to her 96 year old mother. I gave her a great big hug and told her she would have her money back on Friday. "The adopted one" was very sweet and took the money and went to pay the bill after giving me a great big hug.

I hate borrowing money.

I hate needing help.

It makes me feel like a failure. 

I'm happily working from home, but now the company I work for is talking about bringing everyone back, because Gov. Whitmer's emergency orders are no longer valid and for some reason people are itching to make everyone go out and "normalize" but not everyone is ready for what society deems normal. I suppose I never have been what society deems normal. My son is doing all virtual learning and while I have "the adopted one" to help him and make sure the work is getting done, I still prefer to be here. Moreover, my 17 year old daughter is still going to be doing virtual learning 3 out of 5 days per week... two horny [and dating] teenagers with an easily distracted 12 year old home alone spells disaster. Or in the least, an opportunity for me to become a grandmother.

I'm in the throws of perimenopause, hardly getting enough sleep because of night sweats. And today, when I called my husband to tell him that I had to take the remaining stash of cash to get our power restored and I was crying he says, "You've been awfully emotional lately." Okay, I cried when my mom called me in a panic saying that my stepdad was getting worse in the hospital and this time I was crying because our power was shut off, preventing me from working and our son from doing his school work; thus, making me feel like I failed the family. The woman on the phone was being condescending and telling me what I should have done and telling me not to shout... I don't need to be told what I should have done... it's a little late now isn't it, Captain Obvious??? 

Hm... I wonder why I'm a little emotional lately... I couldn't imagine. 

512

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MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)
1  author  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)    one week ago

Thanks for letting me vent.

 
 
 
Just Jim NC TttH
1.1  Just Jim NC TttH  replied to  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka) @1    one week ago

jrSmiley_15_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Sparty On
1.2  Sparty On  replied to  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka) @1    one week ago

Real people have real problems ..... hope it all works out sister.

Praying for your family!

 
 
 
MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)
1.2.1  author  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)  replied to  Sparty On @1.2    one week ago
Real people have real problems

Truth

 
 
 
GregTx
1.3  GregTx  replied to  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka) @1    one week ago

Frustration is like gas, better to let it out than try to hold it in.😉 You're a scrapper, lean into it and press forward.

 
 
 
MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)
1.3.1  author  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)  replied to  GregTx @1.3    one week ago
You're a scrapper

Like the "little engine that could."

 
 
 
GregTx
1.3.2  GregTx  replied to  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka) @1.3.1    one week ago

Yes ma'am. More like the little engine that will...

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
1.3.3  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka) @1.3.1    one week ago

LOL.  THAT comment sure took me back to reading books to my kids when they were litttle.  

"I think I can, I think I can, I think I can......I knew I could, I knew I could, I knew I could..."    

Words engraved upon my memory from 8 decades ago.

 
 
 
Vic Eldred
1.4  Vic Eldred  replied to  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka) @1    6 days ago

It's been a terrible year. A bit of 1918, 1929 and 1968 all rolled into one, but it will end at some point.

You are doing great!

 
 
 
MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)
1.4.1  author  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)  replied to  Vic Eldred @1.4    4 days ago

Well... I don't know how great... 

A coworker / friend lost his 6 year old granddaughter and son in law in a car accident and his daughter needs a lot of help. Then, my stepdad just had half of his left leg removed [no he is NOT diabetic] ... long story, but my mother is looking for a lawyer. We already know that they will need a lot of help from myself and my family. My grandpa Luke passed away and my stepmom didn't even recognize me as his grandchild in the online obituary, but sent me a link to send flowers. Our hot water tank began leaking and we had to replace that on Saturday.

As you know, my power was shut off last week; albeit only for about an hour, but sure enough, I was charged $50 for them to turn it back on as well as having to pay the $930 for a TWO MONTH bill. Granted, our bill consists of electric, water, sewage, trash can fee, cable, internet, and modem fee, but electric was by far the most expensive thing on that list. And I had to pay another $355 for October's billing this past Friday.

Can I just say that 2020 is a complete and utter shit-show and I'm just done with it?

 
 
 
Vic Eldred
1.4.2  Vic Eldred  replied to  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka) @1.4.1    4 days ago
Can I just say that 2020 is a complete and utter shit-show and I'm just done with it?

You are so entitled. You have earned the right.

 
 
 
lady in black
2  lady in black    one week ago

Sending you big hugs ((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

 
 
 
MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)
2.1  author  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)  replied to  lady in black @2    one week ago

Thank you.

 
 
 
JaneDoe
3  JaneDoe    one week ago

Everyone needs a helping hand now and then. Emotionally, financially etc... 
I hear ya about those night sweats. They suck!! 

 
 
 
MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)
3.1  author  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)  replied to  JaneDoe @3    one week ago
I hear ya about those night sweats.

RIGHT!?!? My husband has a sheet, comforter, cotton blanket, and an afghan on his side of the bed. I have a sheet and the comforter, but have the window open [it's on my side] and the fan on... most nights I end up with just the sheet on top of me and I STILL wake up in a puddle of my own sweat!

 
 
 
Dean Moriarty
4  Dean Moriarty    one week ago

I wish you well getting through these challenges. Life and stress can seem overwhelming at times. For me vigorous exercise helps to lower my stress level when I'm faced with similar hardships. 

 
 
 
MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)
4.1  author  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)  replied to  Dean Moriarty @4    one week ago

Thank you.

 
 
 
Veronica
5  Veronica    one week ago

I am so sorry for what you are going through.  Sometimes it all just comes up and tackles you.  Crying is a very good way to release - don't care what my hubby says.  I am going to add you to my waning crescent moon ritual tonight.

 
 
 
MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)
5.1  author  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)  replied to  Veronica @5    one week ago
I am going to add you to my waning crescent moon ritual tonight.

Thank you!

 
 
 
charger 383
6  charger 383    one week ago

Hope your luck improves soon

 
 
 
MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)
6.1  author  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)  replied to  charger 383 @6    one week ago

Me too. Thank you.

 
 
 
Kavika
7  Kavika     one week ago

You ARE NOT A FAILURE, we all have/had some tough times and this will pass. 

 
 
 
MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)
7.1  author  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)  replied to  Kavika @7    one week ago

I sure feel like it sometimes. I'm truly grateful and blessed to have people in my life that don't hesitate to help. Then again, I don't hesitate to help them either.

 
 
 
pat wilson
8  pat wilson    one week ago

Hang in there. Keep doing the best you can, things will resolve. 

You may want to find some articles about menopause for your husband's edification.

 
 
 
MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)
8.1  author  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)  replied to  pat wilson @8    one week ago
You may want to find some articles about menopause for your husband's edification.

jrSmiley_86_smiley_image.gif He's pretty aware. My aunt ended up in a hospital for a short time to get her hormones corrected, because she lost her mind right after she went through it. I don't know if it's fortunate or unfortunate that the women in my family started their monthlies at an early age; therefore, started perimenopause early (40-41) and full-blown menopause by 45-46.

 
 
 
pat wilson
8.1.1  pat wilson  replied to  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka) @8.1    one week ago

I was around 52 and was a raging bitch from hell for a spell. lol.

 
 
 
MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)
8.1.2  author  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)  replied to  pat wilson @8.1.1    one week ago

I'm usually pretty good at controlling myself, especially when I know it's hormonal. I don't know if menopause will be that way... guess we'll find out. jrSmiley_86_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Just Jim NC TttH
8.1.3  Just Jim NC TttH  replied to  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka) @8.1    one week ago
therefore, started perimenopause early (40-41) and full-blown menopause by 45-46.

My wife exactly..............

 
 
 
MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)
9  author  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)    one week ago

UPDATE: We JUST NOW received the shut off notice in the mail. Little late for that now, isn't it?

 
 
 
Sparty On
9.1  Sparty On  replied to  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka) @9    one week ago

Who's your utility?

DTE?

 
 
 
MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)
9.1.1  author  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)  replied to  Sparty On @9.1    one week ago

Wyandotte Municipal Services. DTE is only for gas for us.

 
 
 
Sparty On
9.1.2  Sparty On  replied to  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka) @9.1.1    one week ago

Pretty messed up, you need to talk to someone there about that.

 
 
 
MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)
9.1.3  author  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)  replied to  Sparty On @9.1.2    one week ago

DTE sends shut off notices a lot sooner. What pissed me off was that lady's condescension. Clearly she has never had financial issues before. jrSmiley_80_smiley_image.gif That's how entitled people talk to others.

 
 
 
Sparty On
9.1.4  Sparty On  replied to  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka) @9.1.3    one week ago

Go higher if you can ..... up to and including your Rep

 
 
 
Just Jim NC TttH
9.1.5  Just Jim NC TttH  replied to  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka) @9.1.3    one week ago
Clearly she has never had financial issues before.

She works for the power company (read monopoly) after all. I don't think they EVER lay anyone off. I hate that attitude..............."I got what you need at my price"

 
 
 
MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)
9.1.6  author  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)  replied to  Sparty On @9.1.4    one week ago

I suppose it would be easy enough. Anyone that works for the city or is a rep. has to live within the city limits.

 
 
 
Sparty On
9.1.7  Sparty On  replied to  Just Jim NC TttH @9.1.5    one week ago
She works for the power company

Yeah, the definition of bureaucrat

 
 
 
MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)
9.1.8  author  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)  replied to  Sparty On @9.1.2    one week ago

My neighbor (the one that handed me $500) talked to her brother, which I know very well too, and he was livid. He used to work for the city; he retired from his career with the city.

I also observed that on that shut off notice it said that the date of shut off was scheduled for 10/26/2020... um... yesterday was 10/13/2020. That notice also stated that I would be charged a $25 reconnection fee. I BETTER NOT be charged $25!!! They shut my shit off before they were supposed to!!!

 
 
 
charger 383
10  charger 383    one week ago

Several towns in my area stopped cutting off water for a while

I have let one of my tenets just owe me for a while, they take good care of the place, don't cause any problems  and I will get most of the back rent, some money is better than none

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
11  Perrie Halpern R.A.    one week ago

Hope everything works out for you Mrs. A. It really blows that they shut you off. 

 
 
 
Ender
12  Ender    one week ago

Sorry but I had to laugh about your husband...emotional...Haha

I hope one day you will be able to look back and laugh at the absurdity of it all.

When I was a teenager we 'lost' our power in the middle of winter. We all slept by the fireplace. I stayed up all night to keep it going and keep everyone warm. Didn't go to school the next day. Anyway, the pipes froze. It was a two story house and we had to shut the water into the house on and off at the control valve. When we needed water, we turned it on, while it rained on the bottom floor, got the water we needed and then had to shut it off.

Haha

Anyway, my best to ya. Hope it all works out. Sounds like you have some great friends.

 
 
 
CB
13  CB     one week ago

MsAubrey, I was thinking about you last evening and your night-sweats.  Try this: Buy a pillow/s specifically designated on the packaging "chill" or "cool" and cool sheets. These products I use myself! They work and I swear by it!  You can find them at Big Lots or even Walmart or Target! 

I have long wanted to try the "cool" line by the My Pillow 'guy,' but his politics are off-putting and I am not fully clear on giving him my 'support.' Color me undecided on My Pillow "cool" line of products.

They have to say "chill" or "cool" or something to that effect to be able to brisk the heat radiating around you and the surface you lay on away.

Give it a thought. I am running now this morning! Talk later.

 
 
 
MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)
13.1  author  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)  replied to  CB @13    one week ago
Buy a pillow/s specifically designated on the packaging " chill " or " cool " and cool sheets.

Thank you for the thought, but I have those already. I bought those a long time ago.

https://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/product/therapedic-reg-polar-nights-trade-cooling-bedding-collection/820260?keyword=cooling-pillow

 
 
 
CB
13.1.1  CB   replied to  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka) @13.1    one week ago

Ah! Bed, Bath, and Beyond too! Love it!  And you still have the 'sweats'? That's miserable. I know. I used to hate waking up in a pool of sweat. Of course the fan does not help when it too becomes the problem of "head cold" or ear infection! Grrrr!

What about a prescription med?

I sleep alone and it was miserable (back then), I can only imagine what it must do to a person's image to wake up drenched laying next to someone else! (Sigh!)

 
 
 
MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)
13.1.2  author  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)  replied to  CB @13.1.1    4 days ago

My hormone levels aren't out of whack enough quite yet for them to prescribe anything. jrSmiley_80_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
CB
13.1.3  CB   replied to  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka) @13.1.2    2 days ago

I can empathize with you. And I noticed you are rolling your eyes at the "diagnosis." Of course, I want you to hang tight and tough with your doctors. jrSmiley_13_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)
13.1.4  author  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)  replied to  CB @13.1.3    2 days ago

I'm always tough on my doctors. I do a lot of research before and after; not only for myself, but for all of my parents. Let me explain regarding "all of my parents." I have my in laws, my blood parents, my step parents, and I kept the former in laws in the divorce. jrSmiley_86_smiley_image.gif My sleep specialist has been urging me to go back to school for medicine, because of my research on my sleep disorder and my tenacity (he says I'm a pain in the ass jrSmiley_91_smiley_image.gif ... in a joking manner) in getting answers. I spent 15 years yelling about how my sleepiness was not normal before someone finally listened. The first time I met my sleep specialist, he was snippy, condescending, and acted like I was "less than"; well, I'm not one to simply take that type of behavior... from anyone. I got right back in his face about how he was acting with me and once I knew he was listening, I explained my theory as to why I have the sleep disorder he diagnosed me with. His office manager told me that I was the only one that's ever called him out on his crap, but she also told me that he was extremely impressed by it. Goes to show that sometimes, when you're armed with information [based on good, thorough research], it's often recognized. 

 
 
 
CB
13.1.5  CB   replied to  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka) @13.1.4    yesterday

Interacting with your doctors is the way to go. And doctors love informed and interested clients. Good on you! I articulate with my doctors "across the board" and after all my questions are answered I follow through to 'conclusion/s.'

Doctors love smart patients who listen well, are attentive, and yes can give and receive instruction too! One thing I am with my doctor is honest and I make clear to each and everyone that I don't believe there is a such thing as a "stupid question." jrSmiley_13_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)
13.1.6  author  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)  replied to  CB @13.1.5    12 hours ago

I just wish my stepdad was diligent in asking questions and raising a stink if necessary. He might still have both his legs if he were.