How does a person socialize without getting 'matched' at every social event? I like being single, am good at it, and now at the age of 44 I am good with remaining a bachelor forever. The problem is everyone I know seems to know a woman who I would supposedly love to meet, it is getting ridiculous. I am not shy and can make my own arrangements. My sister is the worst offender because she works in an office with hordes of women and is always trying to blind date me. When I tell her and others no thanks they get hostile, ask me if I am gay, or insist I tell them what is wrong with me. I have told many people that I am not a person who wishes to have a mate of any gender. What the hell, I like the simplicity of bachelorhood, am not ashamed of being what my sister calls selfish. I can eat in really good restaurants solo a whole lot more often and go on vacation more often than I could if I had to pay for two. I don't even like sharing a bathroom with anyone. The thought of having to compromise all the time with another person's schedule turns me off. My mother and sister are by far the worst naggers and now that the holidays are here I am going to hide on a warm beach somewhere. When I told them I wouldn't be flying in for the holidays they started insisting that I tell them where, who I am meeting there, all that information and gave me plenty of grief. How do I sustain a doable family relationship with this family when they are always sticking their noses in my personal life, questioning where I go and why am I not interested?
Enjoy my own company
Dear Enjoy my own company,
When people find pleasure in living a certain accepted way they tend to think everyone needs to live life the way they do. Resistance is met with anything from open curiosity to wrong assumptions. For you their lifestyles might be misery. I think it is wonderful that you like to go solo, feel comfortable with that. Many people who are married or coupled in some way feel the need to 'get away' on their own once in a while; for you it is a constant and as you say it offers simplicity.
Enjoy your fine restaurants, your warm beach. Don't let your mother and sister lay a guilt trip on you, and tell them both that you love them whenever they start nagging. Let them know that you are happy as things are. You seem resolute so I know that you do not need to be advised to be yourself and continue to go your own way. A psychiatrist once told me that being selfish is not always a bad thing, that it can lead to great happiness. Be happy!