Should You Be Drinking Vaginal Beer?
The Order of Yoni ("yoni" being Sanskrit for "vagina," and debatably the oldest word for pussy known to man) is a beer company willing to make your wildest fantasies come true, assuming your wildest fantasies involve lactic acid, gynecological sticks, and sour ales.
If you go to their website for additional information, the company – which, horrifyingly enough, refers to itself in the third person as "The Order" – tells, in somewhat broken English, of how they have, "prepared technology making creation of such unique beer possible. The beer containing quintessence of femininity. The technology enabling materializing her loveliness, gracefulness and character, giving you the possibility of conversion of a tasty beer into a date with real goddess."
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Using a vague, scientific system that I'm sure probably occurs in a lab and not some sad, single dude's pentagram-riddled garage, The Order not only brews beers complete with the "quintessence of femininity," but also assures all beers are safe for consumption. Which is comforting, because as any 8th grade sex-ed teacher can tell you, you're not just drinking one woman's sexual fluids, you're drinking the fluids of every sexual partner she's ever had.
You can even send your own vaginal swabs to The Order by mail. They'll use some of the swab to brew booze. The rest, they'll probably use in some spell dedicated to resurrecting the Antichrist.
Really?!
No takers? I thought this would be too tempting to pass up ; however I may have wrongly gauged...
;^)
Dear Friend Larry Hampton: Not sure what to say.
E
Now I know why I don't drink...
I like a good IpeeA.