Dowser's Helpful Hints for the Perfect Dinner Party- 'Martha Stewart' Style
I never got to do that. Rather, I tried to sandwich in my household chores between working, going out in the field, and meeting all of my other multitudinous obligations. Mama never understood why I did laundry at night. If I had been better organized, I could have done it during the day, when I was work. She was no doubt right, on the organization end, but it just never seemed to work out for me.
My parents entertained frequently, as did my grandparents and Aunt Lois and Uncle Louie. Their homes were always spotless, and they served meals that were wonderful-- well-prepared and well-presented. All of them had fancy compotes and plates to serve on and with, silver, crystal, and all kinds of special little knives and other cutlery. I don't know what some of them are, when I look into the silver drawers of my buffett.
Now that I'm retired, I'm taking it easy. I turn on the PoP channel every day at 3 pm and watch ER . One of my favorite shows! Every day, of late, they broadcast a Martha Stewart Boxed Meal commercial-- Basically, order the food you want to serve from Martha Steward and you get one of her Amazing recipes, and Fantastic ingredients, and it all has the Martha Stewart seal of approval. It's the Perfect way to entertain, according to Ms. Stewart.
Well, excuse me, but I detest that woman. Coming into my house every day at 3 in the afternoon-- even if only over the air waves, she has some nerve. She is so self-satisfied and smug... If something was perfect in my life, I wouldn't know how to behave, because nothing is-- oh and don't put a lot of weight on that marble topped table, it's on verge of collapse. Her seal of approval means absolutely doodley squat to me! Go away, bitch, you bother me. And grab that dust mop on your way out!
I've always given good parties and people have always had fun. I once had a conga line, snaking out my front door, around the side of the house, and into the back door, a continuous loop, for about 1/2 hour, dancing to Cuban Pete, (Lucille Ball and Desi Arnez). It was an old song, then, too... My neighbors came to complain, but stayed until 2 am and had a wonderful time!
So, in case you're like me, and all this Martha Stewart stuff grates on your last nerve, just do what I do. Make it as easy as possible and have fun! If you're having fun, your guests are having fun!
First, assess your energy level. How much energy can you expend in preparation, and still be awake long enough keep the party going? It does no good to host a party and go lie down in the middle of it. So, do only as much as you can do, and don't worry about it. Be sure, in all your errand running that you have time for a little nap...
Forget all those hand-made decorations, and artsy-tartsy things that tend to pile up around the house. They just gather dust, and God only knows you don't have the energy to expend in dusting them! You can do a simple little take home favor, (if you wish), like a tiny bucket filled with candy. If your guests don't want them, you can donate the buckets somewhere, and eat all their candy.
Go easy on the food. Meaning, there are plenty of restaurants and plenty of kinds of food available, just be sure to order enough for everyone, with extras. Go pick it up, spread it around in your own dishes, and you're done. If you've got the strength, you can make a good dessert, but, be aware that no matter what you fix, someone won't like it, or be allergic to it, or react badly to it, so make two desserts. (It's not such a hardship to have leftover desserts!) Many stores have delicious desserts, as well. Pick one up.
Make sure to have plenty of soft drinks, and you can serve tea and coffee-- but I always request that my guests bring their own alcohol, if they want it. I can't afford to buy booze for 30 people. I don't drink booze anymore, either. (If I did, I'd pass out in the bath tub-- with all the medicines I take.)
Snacks. Snacks are also a good pick me up for a party. Make up a tray or two of something you can pop into the oven, and then serve hot. Or something you can keep refrigerated and serve cold. Something you can make the day before and not have to worry about. I always write out a check list of these kinds of things, just so I don't forget to serve something. And a general schedule: Supper type food at 8 pm, dessert at 9 pm, snack #1 at 10 pm, snack #2 at 11 pm, etc.
People seem to have a lot more fun at casual parties than formal ones, so you can use paper products, (and you don't have a lot of dishes to wash). Keep the food on the inside of the house, if you're having a backyard party, but make it readily available, and let your guests feel free to have the run of the house.
I usually put my animals in the garage or the basement, or both, and put signs on the door that there are wild animals down there or out there and please do not open. It keeps the hysteria down, should the dog get free and try to sniff out everyone's crotch... There seems to be a lot of people that object to that, for some reason. Why? I don't know. They're just being dogs. The cats are very glad to be down, out of the way...
Play good music, upbeat music, that YOU like. Forget trying to find everyone's favorite genre, because that's impossible. Just play what you like and dance around to it, and you'll feel happy!
Welcome every guest with a hug, and pat them on the shoulder when they leave... It makes them feel your care for them, which is why you're having the party in the first place!
Most of all, have fun, and don't kill yourself doing it!
Happy Anti-Martha Stewart Day!
Thanks for coming by!
Weren't Lucy and Ricky just darling? I love that song, and play it often... A great party song!
The big thing about parties is to not sweat them. Everyone is there to be happy, (a good start), and feel the love you have for them!
*chick chicki boom, chick chicki boom
We are going to a party tonight, what perfect timing. I'l be wearing my finery as will Red. Wiki and Annie did not receive a invitation so they are ''down in the dumps''...
Oh no! Poor Wiki and dear little Annie! I'm sure they're HURT. Y'all have a grand time!
If we don't pay attention to them 100% of the time, they feel neglected...LOL
But they need to be the center of attention! That's what dogs DO... Or at least, that's what mine do, plus the cats. My every living, waking breath must be about them, somehow...
I hope you all have a good time tonight!
I'm not a fan of Martha. She makes entertaining a task I would never do.
I always have a house full of people during the summer. I have my routines down pat, and everyone eats well and has a good time. The only party that I throw where I might get fancy, is my New Year's Eve one. And even then I do a classic buffet.
And btw.. she stole my saying... "It's a good thing".. Damn should have copyrighted it! LOL!
You're right. Impossible standards to meet. In everything. It's just a shame, because most of us aren't all that picky. SHE is.
Yes, you should have copyrighted that saying. Think how wealthy you'd be! Here is my saying, and I'm going to copyright it:
Mama, you got Pie?
She has to big an ego for my tastes.
Exactly!
One of the best parties I ever gave was out of the trunk of my car at a parking complex in downtown Frankfort, when a tornado was bearing down on us... I had made enough spaghetti for an army, trying to use it all up, and threw it in the car and took it to where everyone was taking shelter. It took about 10 minutes to get it all in the car, plus the cooler with ice! It was pitch black outside, and the wind was whipping the trees around, but we were underground, and everyone was hungry because it was dinner time. We were camping just outside of town, and ran up to the parking garage to take shelter... Everyone got a little spaghetti, and we all relaxed. I didn't know a soul there... But made a lot of friends!
*chick chicki boom, chick chicki boom...
When I host a party, there are always snacks. French Onion Dip, one bag of Lipton Onion Soup mix per pint works just fun, my Nacho Dip (decades in perfecting it) and other stuff, but those are the two faves. Cheese and pepperoni/sausage trays. Of late, I've found 'Pub Cheese' to be a favorite. If heading to someone else's house, I usually try a recipe off Facebook. Superbowl, I did the Buffalo Chicken and Blue Cheese stuffed, bacon wrapped biscuits for my hosts....they liked it!
Martha? Who cares about her? Got some of her patio furniture years ago, had t paint it less than 2 years later as it was rusting.....
I don't go overboard on snacks if I'm having a dinner party, but I love those informal parties where all you serve us snacks, and anything I can make ahead of time and bake is a big plus... I make these no-bake cheese crispies and they're a big hit. Then, I'll buy stuff, too. Like a big tray of crab rangoon. and Nachos, but I get tired of cutting all that stuff up. Dangerous, too, since I can't see that well...
It's just fun to be with everyone and have a good time together!
*chick chicki boom, chick chicki boom, chick chicki boom-- It's in my head and I can't get it out! An EAR Worm!
Dear Friend Dowser: When our offspring were growing up, when we were throwing a party at night I would take the young ones to a movie, bowling, miniature golf etc. That got us all out of the house so Mrs. E. can set things up.
These days, in our 70's when we have company over, I do the lawns, leaves, hedges, snow shoveling. Anything out of the house so Mrs. E. can set things up.
Getting everyone out of her way is a method for throwing the perfect party that has never failed.
Enoch, Going Out for a 4.5 Hour Hike, As We Have Company Tonight.
LOL, dear Enoch! I always seem to have the pre-party frenzies, where I run around the house rearranging the chairs, etc. The last time, I threw a picnic and didn't have anything to arrange-- the picnic tables were made of concrete. It was much nicer! Keeping my husband busy is a big thing. Unless I give him something to do, he decides to take the furnace apart, or some such nonsense...
Dear Friend Dowser: Our son and grandson came up from Ithaca, NY where they reside. Last night we celebrated the Sabbath (Shabbat) together. It is rare that Mrs. E. and I can do this with our son, daughter, grandson all in our home these days.
We chanted blessings, sang Zmirot shel Shabbat (Sabbath Songs - Scripture set to music).
We feasted on a traditional sabbath meal.
We discussed the Parshat shel Shavuah (Weekly Torah and commentary {HafTorah portion).
It was glorious.
Family time always is.
No wonder there is a saying. "As we Jewish People keep the Sabbath, so the Sabbath keeps us".
I made all a bagels and lox (smoked salmon) breakfast.
In a few minutes my son grandson and I are off to Brachot ha Shachar (pre-dwn blessings. Then Sabbath morning Services.
Its going to be a great day for us indeed.
Yes, the food is nice.
Best of all is time with family.
To me, that is the finest party possible.
E.
Family time is the most important time there is! I find myself making their favorite dishes, even though they have been dead for 40+ years, hoping they'll be with us in spirit! So glad you got to be with your family!
Dear Friend Dowser: Thanks.
And they are with you in spirit and sacred memory.
E.
I love to entertain with all the planning and cooking that goes into it. My friends were, also, like this. Cooked everything from scratch.....loved it.
One of my favorites....at our weekend farm (gorgeous) we had a brunch and invited our friends who lived out of the area. Tom went to a local farm and bought dove for me to prepare in a yummy brown sauce and cooked slowly for hours. Cheesy garlic grits, three different fresh vegetables, spicy fruit salad, green salad and apple pie and bread pudding. We had Bloody Marys and Mamosas. Of course, wine with the meal.
For our visitors during the, week who came to fish, I would prepare fried chicken, mashed potatoes and grave, turnip greens, fresh slice tomatoes with onions, capers, etc. Lemon icebox pie.
If they stayed the night......of course, there would be fish from our lake.
Of course, at all our meals, I would serve hot French bread.
It's been awhile since I entertained with all the silver and china and crystal. Last time, I worked for a month, just polishing silver, and decided that was it. It is all wrapped in soft cloths and sealed in plastic, now. Too much work! Seriously, I was in bed for two days afterwards, just worn down. It was the last family get-together I hosted. My father-in-law had had a stroke, and was not all there, my husband's sister was her usual ill-behaved self and kicked my dog. My step-daughter was furious and wouldn't speak to me-- don't ask me why... Maybe it was a Tuesday or something. Mama was mad because I hadn't made her yeast rolls, and bought Hawaiian bread instead, and for some reason, the jello didn't jell. My husband was mad because of all the food I fixed-- WE can't eat all that. Nope. Not again for awhile. Matthew was the only contented soul at the table-- because I made him macaroni and cheese.
I host all the intimate family holidays still, but buy our dinner from Cracker Barrell. It's a lot easier and I can fix one or two things and that's too much food. But at least we can eat it, and don't have to reheat and reheat it. Plus, we usually go to our camper these days, and it's much easier!
I love to do all that, but am just too worn out to do much.
I am sorry you have had such problems. I love polishing the silver, getting my flowers, and all the other stuff that goes along with entertaining in a proper setting
Oh, sure, you can have the same fun hosting a party where everyone is glad to be together and have a blast, but it is a hostess' delight to present an "occasion".
Yes! My "occasions" are done simply, I guess. My last big party was Matthew's 17th birthday and my 60th, and I went all out! But, I hired a caterer. It was a 50s theme, and we all had a wonderful time!
I have bad heart trouble and live with heart failure. There isn't whole lot I can do, these days... I have to carefully husband my strength.
I was trained in how to put on the old time, southern parties... The ones with mints and nuts, and special ice cream, lights in the trees, and silver, crystal, china, and 4 different kinds of forks. But it is a lot of trouble, and back breaking, no matter how much I enjoy it.
Is your recipe for cold spiced fruit the one out of Southern Living? I make that, every now and then, and love it!
Well, you all may not like Martha's parties but Snoop Dogg is down with it !
Ugh. It's not her parties that I mind, its that everything she does is amazing , and most of us are fine with "looks good"... It's that she's a snoot, and I'm not sure she has anything to be snooty about... During cardiac rehab, I was scheduled to go at the time she was on every morning, and somehow, she came to represent all the things I tried so hard to do, (like walk on the tread mill for 15 minutes), and failed at. Her sneer did nothing to spur me on to greater glory, only crawl my way outta there!
Well, you all may not like Martha's parties but Snoop Dogg is down with it
Maybe there's more than pudding in the brownies. hahahahahaha
Funny! I was thinking the same thing...
Ms Stewart has nothing I need or want.
Being as my ex-husband was Italian, with his Father immigrating from Sicily at the age of 16, I had to learn to cook Italian dishes when we married. But, like my Father, I loved to cook, so it was a great learning experience. His Father, who also loved to cook, taught me a lot of the Sicilian ways of cooking. I always make my own sauce from scratch. I don't use Oregano, I use fresh Thyme and other fresh herbs. It takes about 4-6 hours to cook the sauce to the right consistency. I always make a large pot of sauce, then use it to make Lasanga, Eggplant Parmesan, Stuffed Steak, stuffed maniccoti, and other Italian dishes. I am not fond of spaghetti myself, so I usually use rigatoni instead. Then I'd make cannoli shells stuffed with flavored riccota cheese stuffing for dessert.
We entertained a lot back then, especially, on the holidays. My family was fairly large back then, but, over the years everyone walked on and now there is just me and my Granddaughter left from our family. So, we have get-togethers and share the cooking, and I have taught her my Italian recipes as well, as she loves my Italian cooking.
Of course, being raised in the South, I still do a lot of Southern style down home cooking. A well as Mexican, Chinese and Native American dishes.
Dang.......now I'm hungry..........(RW off to raid the fridge)
Bravo! It just feels as if everyone has the wool pulled over their eyes as to how marvelous she is. I mean, Ms. Stewart is obviously VERY talented, and gifted and just chock full of good ideas, but I'm not sure how hard it is to do all that with someone else cleaning your house, and cleaning your kitchen, and running to the store for you, etc.
I'm not sure that she is that good a person, to be honest. I think she's a crook. She sells 'good taste', and I'm not sure she has any.
I agree, Dowser. I tried a few of her recipes before she was sent to prison, and they were not that great to me. The flavor was sort of something you might find at an all you can eat place, rather bland and unexciting to the taste buds. I like to improvise a lot, and learned to did a lot of that when I was a single Mother with two young children and little money. I'd use whatever there was in the fridge and cabinet and create something new and different. The kids loved it. Often they would ask me to make something I threw together off the cuff again and I could not remember what all I put in it and it never turned out the same. We would make up silly names for the new dishes and it became sort of a game we played. Thankfully, my kids were not picky eaters or it might not have been a much fun for them, or me. (smile)
I'm not that great at following recipes any more. My favorite recipe book is my Grandma's Wartime Kitchen cook book -- but be prepared for a lot of cream, because cream wasn't rationed back then. The recipes I try are in my great-great grandmother's cookbook, and at least I know what all those ingredients are...
ABout half the time, these days, I have no idea what they're talking about. And once I find out-- my husband wouldn't eat it on a bet, so what's the point? NOT to mention, his side of the family won't eat anything made of apples, because they had an aunt that made an apple pie for the Union soldiers and poisoned them with arsenic... My husband hates strawberries, too. It would appear that my family lived on apples and strawberries, so it makes it interesting to try to find something he'll eat.
The old cookbooks are my favorites as well. I have my Paternal Grandmother's old Watkins cookbook, printed in 1940. It uses all basic hers and spices that were sold by Watkins Co at the time. Grandmother was the youngest in her family and never learned about cooking, so when she married Grandfather she learned from his Mother, who was full blood Cherokee. So there were a lot of recipes in the old cookbook that she wrote herself. There are a lot of old Southern recipes that I love in there too that you can't find in any modern cookbooks. My Mother was a great innovative cook, and between Mother, Grandmother and my Father, I learned how to cook at a very early age. I could put a full meal on the table for a house full of people by the time I was 12 y/o, and by that time I did a good portion of cooking in the house for the family. It is a good think I love to cook or it would be been a terrible chore for me back then. (grin)
Those old cookbooks are the best! I don't need all that fancy stuff-- I just want to fix plain food that tastes good. I get People magazine and check out their recipes a lot, and everything uses some special salt, or special pepper, or special oil and greens. I would spend a fortune at the grocery just finding the spices that they require!
My first cookbook was Good Housekeeping".....still have it.
My Mother was an awesome cook, but when asked how she cooked this or that she would say......oh, a little of this and then, you cook it until...oh, you know!
Fortunately, I have all my grandmother's measuring cups and mixing dishes, and can, so far anyway, remember which crack, chip, or mark you use to measure... Real measurements? Rarely...
"oh, a little of this and then, you cook it until...oh, you know! "
Indeed, that is more or less how I cook most of the time. I find most cookbook recipes rather bland for my taste and that of my family, so I wind up adding a little more of this or that until I tastes like I want it to. As for Italian cooking, my ex-Father-in-law was my initial teacher, and he never went by any recipe, it was you added the seasonings until "it'sa testa like-a dis" (in his very broken English). So I learned to cook by taste alone. The taste buds are the recipe. When asked for my recipe of something, it was a real process, trying to guess-step through the test tasting and trying to come up with a reasonable measurement of the various spices until it came out to the taste test requirements. Nut, I was finally able to come up with a pretty good recipe for the sauce, which is the foundation of most all basic Italian dishes. However, I could Sicilian style Italian, which is much spicer than Northern Italian cooking. They use a good deal of sugar in their cooking in the north part of the country, especially, in their sauce and bread. The reason they use sugar in their sauce was because the volcanic ash in the soil in that area makes the tomatoes very acidic and rather bitter, so they use sugar to counter the bitterness. For my own taste, I am not that fond of sweet stuff that much, so I personally prefer the Sicilian style. (smile)
I love it all, but have to be careful with acidic... a glass of orange juice ruins my whole day, and I love orange juice-- just can't drink it any more. At any rate, I'd love to eat your Italian cooking, dear RW!
Thank you dear Dowser. I wish we lived closer, as I would love to cook some for you.
I wish we did, too! But I would have to invite you to the camper for me to cook for you! The camper has a kitchen that is the perfect size... And I've found that most people don't expect me to 'put on the dog' in the camper... Just as long as the food is good!
No need to put on the dog for me, dear Dowser, I would truly feel out of place. Good company and good food is all that matters to me. My Mother and Father lived in a motorhome for several years after they retired, and she cooked some of her best meals there. We would all gather around a picnic table outside and enjoy the meal and family time together when we visited. (smile)
We can eat inside or outside, just as long as we can be together!
Sounds like a great plan to me!
Must be nice to have everything measured and set up ahead of time for you.
Exactly. Prep time seems to include only time it takes to cook something-- not measure out, cut it up, and get it ready to cook!
She is doing a TV show!
Who, Ms. Stewart? Again?
She had a TV show 17 years ago, and I was forced to watch her during my cardiac rehab... It never made much sense to me, that they put on a cooking show, with all this non-healthy eating dishes, while I was in cardiac rehab...
Bravo! It just feels as if everyone has the wool pulled over their eyes as to how marvelous she is. I mean, Ms. Stewart is obviously VERY talented, and gifted and just chock full of good ideas, but I'm not sure how hard it is to do all that with someone else cleaning your house, and cleaning your kitchen, and running to the store for you, etc.
I'm not sure that she is that good a person, to be honest. I think she's a crook. She sells 'good taste', and I'm not sure she has any.
My friends and I did it. And, we loved it!
I did it too, now that you mention it. Now, I'm too ill to do it, and give up on trying to be so perfect. I just want my guests to have a good time.
I love Martha's style. She is fantastic!
WEll, good! She certainly has her fan base!
For dinner parties my preference has always been buffet style, and pot luck requiring the guests to bring something. However, it wasn't just luck because to make sure there is a variety of food and different courses, you need to have some idea what your guests do best, and require them to bring something specific, like an appetizer, a salad, a vegetable dish, a main dish, a dessert, drinks for everyone (soda or wine if they weren't very good cooks). Two dishes my ex-wife made that I really liked were baked eggplant parmesan lasagna, and tiny shrimp salad with small green seedless grapes, mayonnaise and fresh dill. We usually prepared a huge amount of cold sangria for our parties.
I guess I've always liked buffet restaurants. In Hollywood, Florida there was 'The Gourmet' where the dishes actually WERE gourmet, and in Miami, "Food Among the Flowers" where all the dishes were very small and you would have a choice of as many of them as you wanted out of a huge variety of foods - usually seven or eight were enough. What you must be careful about in a buffet restaurant is to not fill up on breads and potatoes - the restaurant would prefer that you eat a lot of those instead of the more expensive dishes (like smoked salmon, oysters Rockefeller, baby lamb chops, etc.)
I have always liked Chinese food, and my wife is an amazing cook. She grew up on a farm and can wander through a wild field for a half hour and come back with enough edible greens for a meal. Here is an example of a lunch she prepared. We eat our biggest meal of the day at lunch - it's healthier, and there are leftovers to supplement dinner. I know what some of the things are, but not all, but they do mostly taste pretty incredible.
These look delicious, Buzz. I love Chinese food as well. I like the old fashioned Chinese food much more than the new style mostly served in restaurants these days. I cook at lot of my own Chinese food for that very reason, that way I can have it like I prefer it. I make my own egg drop soup and Chow Mein as well. There is only one restaurant that makes old style Chinese cuisine anymore, called The Pekin Café in North Park in San Diego. They have been there since before WWII and are family owned. I went there often for their Pork Chow Mein. But, I now live too far away to visit anymore, and I do miss it terribly. I have never found any place anywhere that still serves the old style Chinese food.
I'm asked quite often if I like Chinese food, so I tell them if I didn't I'd starve here (well, not really with the number of Amercan fast food franchises here). However, I then tell them a true story: My mother was a stay-at-home mom - took care of my older brother and me, cooked the meals, cleaned the house, did the laundry, etc. She cooked all the meals every day except for Sunday. Every Sunday my dad would take us all out to the Pagoda restaurant for a Chinese meal, so every Sunday since I had to sit in a high chair to eat, I've been eating Chinese food, and after leaving home, my friends and I and eventually my wife (now my ex-wife) and I would go out at least once a week for a Chinese meal. So the answer is YES, I love Chinese food, and now I eat it every day.
That looks wonderful! Every mid-day meal is an occasion at your house!
I like buffets, too!