What Sir Paul Taught Me About Friendship
It was an extremely humid evening on Wednesday night, as I took the long walk through the parking lot at the Nassau Coliseum , but I didn't care. I was lucky enough to gotten tickets to see Paul McCartney. Inside there was an energy rarely felt at a concert. People of all ages were present and the floor was full of concert goers with messages written for Paul. When he came out onto the stage, the crowd went into high gear, and Paul responded in kind, and although he no longer had the youthful look of the young lad we remember when we think of the "Fab Four", his boyishness persona superseded his looks as he played coy and teased the crowd with the energy level of a young man. He sang his songs from his various from The Beatles, Wings and new material with great tidbits about the history behind the songs that added much intrinsic value.
As the concert progressed, he talked about the various connections to the people that we only know as being famous. He talked about his relationships with these people with the common theme was friendship. He spoke about the his grief about not being able to tell John about how he actually felt about him, till after his death. How he and George shared so many good times even after the Beatles split up and how his death was heartbreaking for him. He sad that real friendships never dies and are forever. It was very touching.. and relevant to me.
You see, I had attended the concert with my hubby and two of the best people I know and better friends a person couldn't ask for, Ronny and Steve. We have all known each other since I was 12, and over the 45 years of knowing them, we too have shared many moments together, both good and bad. Just like Paul, I remember when we looked youthful and how the years have changed us. And just like Paul, we are still friends, despite what life has thrown at us, and it has thrown a ton at us. We have all struggled through so much together, but we always had each others backs, and were always there when we needed a hand or a shoulder. I know I have been very blessed to have them in my life.
And fittingly, Paul ended his concert with the Beatles song "The End"..
And in the end,
The love you take
Is equal to the love you make.
My friends and I looked at each other and hugged it out. No words could be truer. Value those in your life while you have them. Your love will be paid back in kind.
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It was an amazing concert and I am so happy to add this to the list of great memories have with these guys. I know I have been so lucky to have them in my life.
How about you? Tell us about the friends in your life.
Years ago I read about Paul struggling with his memories, his emotions and wishing he'd told John what he meant in his life.
I resolved to not make the same mistake myself.
I am very moved to find that others have discovered this too - and that they're sharing it with others.
Your friends are obviously blessed with your friendship.
Sadly most of my closest friends have walked on. There were two different group. One being the guys in my squad from the Army. I'm the only Indian left standing of that group. I attended all of their funerals, from Hawaii to Texas to Louisiana to California. Good men all.
Of the other group that was four, now there are just two of us left.
Good memories, we couldn't have been closer if we were all brothers. I miss them all and relish the one very close friend that I have left.
I guess when you're had your 77th birthday you lose friends.
It is sad about growing old and outliving your friends. In that way, you and Paul are very much alike. He is the same age as you, and has had many losses.. and very public ones at that.
I think that is why it is so important to enjoy the relationships we have when we still have them. Enjoy the two you have and make a point of seeing them often. Better to see them alive, then show up after they have walked on.
This is so timely for me. I just returned from having a very long lunch with my two best friends who are the only ones left for me.
Leah, I have known for 53 years and, Sandy, I have known for 45 years. We shared and share everything. We talked about our good friends who have died, particularly, Charlotte, who died six months ago. Charlotte was a hoot.....beautiful with a laugh and easy wit that was like a Sunday morning. She taught me that her chick-a-boom reference to anything or anyone meant it was awesome.
Chick-a-boom, Perrie!
Hi Mags
Isn't great to get together with old friends and it's like you never miss a beat. You just pick up where you left off.
I am very sorry for the loss of your friend, Charlotte. Oddly, I lost several close friends in high school, and none since then. I can't even bare the idea. I know it must have been a terrible loss for you.
Great story, Perrie. We can always learn from others, and although our own lives may differ in ways from theirs, in many ways we are all alike. Our close Friends become family when they walk on it leaves as big a hurt and emptiness in our life as that of one of our family members.
My Mother taught me at a young age that you will have many acquaintances in your life, but, few true Friends. Cherish those who will stand with you on the rainy days in your life, as they are the true Friends who will be there with/for you in all things in life.
Her words have held true over the years. I now have only one real Friend who is still with me. And although we are now many miles apart, our Friendship has endured for more than 30 years, and we are still there for each other when we need a laugh, share the happy times in our life, and be a source of comfort of each other when needed.
Even in death, true Friendship never dies, it simply moves on to another plane Yet, it can still play an important part in who we are, and what we become in our own life. (smile)
Hi Raven,
It's true that we will have many acquaintances in our life, but, few true Friends. You always know who those are. They are there when you need them, and there is an ease in the way you relate. It's not that I think that we can't make new friends and enjoy them, but there is something special about the ones we have share a history with.
Indeed there is, Perrie. My family moved to Calif from Texas when I was still a pre-teen, and I left behind one of the best Friends I ever had. We were inseparable and practically lived at each others home. She was to me the Sister that I never had, as I was to her. Even though we were many miles apart we still shared pictures and letters about old times and new. I suddenly stopped hearing from her and wondered why she no longer answered my letters. I then found out from her older Brother that she had walked on from pneumonia around the time I stopped hearing from her. I was totally heartbroken. It was if a part of me had died as well.
But, the memories of the times we spent together and things we shared over the years gives me comfort from the pain I still feel without her in my life. Yet, I treasure the time we did have together, and no one can take those memories from me. (smile)
It surprises me to see that you, Perrie, actually have time these days to have written an article, a very meaningful one at that. Perhaps more meanngful to me because only yesterday I was notified that one, who starting from law school until I left Canada, was one of my closest friends - one whose loyalty and dedication to our friendship was matched by few others. I immediately wrote to his daughter to tell her some fun stories about him, pointing out to her what a great man her father was, and how I have missed him since I left, and she replied with warmth and thanks, and let me know that she was with him when he left us, and that it was quick and peaceful.
My best friend walked on much too young - at the age of 48. It was the worst advertisement for Canada's Health Care system, because he was waiting, too long, for a bypass after having suffered a heart attack. For his own health, he was his own worst enemy. He was addicted to Coca-Cola (not diet coke), eventually drinking whole big bottles at a time. When C-C changed its formula, he drove all over the city picking up cases of it that still remained. Our history goes back to being high school fraternity brothers, then sharing a basement apartment in a home near the university we both attended, then being law school classmates. During vacations before we each married, we travelled together to Cape Cod, Chicago, Florida, once took in a class at Harvard Law School, and eventually I bought the lakeside home 4 cottages away from his because he almost demanded that I do it so we could be close, and he died the very next year.
One should never discount their family as being good friends - of course the adage is that blood is thicker than water, and you can lose your friends but you can never lose your family. Right now, my best friend is my wife, who treats me as if I were the Emperor. I would be totally lost without her.
(big smile)
Hi Buzz,
I am so sorry about the loss of your friend. I am sure his daughter will appreciate the letter you sent her.
Losing your best friend must have been very traumatic at such a young age. I lost one friend at that age, and it was one of the worst moments of my adult sites.
I have a very close family. I can't say that I treat Matt like a Emperor, but rather my best bud. My mom and dad are kind of the same way. We are very ritualized about the things we do and have pretty much the same interests.. other than blogging. That is something he can't get into, but enjoys hearing about.
Unfortunately all my buds and friends, brothers and sisters from life have passed on or have lost contact.
My closest friend, my wife is still with me after 40 years. She isn't into politics like me but as with you Perrie and Matt, she likes to hear the stories.
My partners in crime have all passed on, like my brother. we wanted to learn to rappel down a cliff face when we were young. but of course we had no money to get equipment. We had the cliff face. an almost sheer 50 ft high rock face jutting out of a hill side not a quarter mile from out home. we fashioned our own hardware but we could never come up with enough money to get the rope we needed. So we had a bright idea.
Flagpole rope. yards and yards of it just hanging there doing nothing.....
So one night we made a tour around town, visiting all the government offices and schools borrowing their flagpole ropes. We made several trips and must have snagged about 15 or so ropes. a dozen times over what we actually needed but then we were just kids. (Didn't really think about how strong those ropes were either, it never occurred to us) We stashed them on the end of the enclosed porch. (where no one would see them we thought)
And that is how we learned to scale cliffs with rope belaying tactics and rappel down rock faces. We both loved the outdoors and hiking the backwoods/mountains.
But I digress, the next day there was this article in the newspaper on how both the town hall and the police station wasn't flying flags, it was noticed by the mayor when coming into work but they had told the reporter that they hadn't a clue what happened. the Fire chief was particularly perturbed with it since it was part of the job he loved so much in the morning, part of his every day routine that was rudely interrupted..... And my brother and I snickered with our secret, believing with all our hearts that we were making much better use of the ropes than they were.
Until my father came home from work and asked the wide eyed question of where did all the rope come from that was on the porch? (it wasn't light when he went to work so he didn't see them in the morning) of course such question was asked with a sideways questioning eye aimed at his two oldest sons..... AND of course we hadn't a clue.....
I eventually came to the conclusion after many years that lifelong friendship is made up of many such unions of cooperation, little white lies and the risks of those shared moments together.
The coils of rope mysteriously disappeared from the porch a few weeks later, My father casting a knowing eye our way as the city crews came and picked them up, and six weeks later they blasted the cliff face into oblivion.
How he found out we will never know. But under the christmas tree that year was two complete climbing rigs along with 100' silk ropes, and a note.
it read....
You can climb as high as you want to, just when you go, know you go with my love and understanding.....
And be safe.
It was unsigned....
It was then that I realized that my greatest friend was my father..... unfortunately seldom there due to the needs to support a wife and five hellions. (which at times was a good thing) but always watching out....
What a really nice story, NWM. That is only something that could have happened with a group of boys in their youth. Kind of like a Standy By Me story.
But bottom line, it seems like you had a really great dad. Can't beat one of those.
Thanks for sharing your story. It was a fun romp.