Mutual Respect, Harmony and Progress

By:  enoch  •  5 months ago  •  22 comments

Mutual Respect, Harmony and Progress

This is a follow up to my recent article, "The Sounds of Silence". 

Fr. I. the Trappist Monk at the Abbey referenced in that article is head of end of life Pastoral care for the older and more infirm of the monks there.

My credibility respecting them, what is sacred to to them for them, with no desire to attack or change what they devote their lives to; and brought to them a member who fit into what their are doing and benefited greatly form it is long established.

The good Fr. and I are sharing, working with and creating new methods, techniques, and training materials based on our experiences over the decades assisting those leaving this level of existence in each of our Pastoral roles.

I mention this because people who have differences also have common ground.

The win-win occurs when people use the common ground to work together.

This is at the highest level perfectly compatible with what each founds their efforts to do.

We all get farther working together than snarking, disrepecting, distractiing, going negative, dwelling in ignorance about what matters to others for them and other examples of immature and unfriendly misconduct.

Amidst all the acrimony that ensues on the News Talkers, what can community members share about how they got ahead by co-operating rather than being adversarial to others.

Your examples of getting ahead by getting along with others can be drawn from cyber space or real life.

Both count.

Progress counts.

Helping others counts.

You count!

Site CoC, TOS; and the Four B's Will Be Enforced.

Be Respectful.

Be On-Point.

Be Positive.

Or Be Gone!            

We look forward to learning from, and being inspired by your examples of fellowship; mutual harmony, warmth, co-operation, respect and progress towards a better life for others and us.

Hopefully some of this will rub off on the front page. 

Peace and Abundant Blessings Always.



jrDiscussion - desc
1  author  Enoch    5 months ago

We look forward to learning from, and being inspired by your V/T and/or R/T examples of fellowship; mutual harmony, warmth, co-operation, respect and progress towards a better life for others and us.

Site CoC, TOS; and the Four B's Will Be Enforced.

Be Respectful.

Be On-Point.

Be Positive.

Or Be Gone!

Peace and Abundant Blessings As Community Members, As Family Members, and As Persons of Dignity and Worth Always.


Bob Nelson
2  Bob Nelson    5 months ago
The win-win occurs when people use the common ground to work together.

Indeed... and the winners are both persons who take the risk of sharing.

It doesn't happen often. Too many people are afraid to genuinely "discuss". Discussion means laying one's ideas on the table, for all to see. Vulnerability.

So both persons must be careful. It's much easier to destroy than to build the mutual confidence that real conversation requires.

And when that exchange really does occur, with both persons being enriched by the other... it is joy!  Big hugs

2.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Bob Nelson @2    5 months ago

Dear Friend Bob Nelson: Perfectly presented.

Nothing I can add.

Only to express profound gratitude for this sterling contribution.


Peace and Abundant Blessings Always.


3  CB    5 months ago

My approach is to aim for as close to a 'face-to-face' discussion in the virtual world as I can hold in the real world. Of course, I understand it is difficult to verify anything personal (confidential) about friends in the virtual world. But we can explore a facsimile of reality if we are consistent and take time to "deep-dive" issues once in a while.

I can respect diversity. I tend, no I actually desire, a world where I could lie down to sleep in the presence of a 'goodly' stranger and wake up safe and sound. We do not have this world everywhere, I know. I begrudge people nothing in the real world—as long as it is unforced. It is my effort to convey this across the great distances on the 'wire' of the world-wide web. I can get along with anybody who desires to let other people live, find God, or live without God, and without violence.  (Big Smile.)

3.1  author  Enoch  replied to  CB @3    5 months ago

Dear Brother, Friend and Treasure Writing Partner Calbab: Would there were many more like you.

We do not live in a world with sufficient "goodly strangers" yet.

We get closer one good person doing one good thing alone and/or with other(s) at a time.

Onward and upwards.

Peace and Abundant Blessings Always.


4  Kavika     5 months ago

Perhaps it's time to use the age old native ''talking strick''....this is used in council meeting and the holder of the stick expresses his thought, agreement or disagreement on a subject. All other council members do not interrupt, but are required to listen and remember what the speaker said so when it's their turn not to waste time by repeating the same things. When the speaker is finished with his talk he passes the talking stick to the next person and that person makes his argument enjoying the same respect as the prior speaker. One must honor the speaker and in turn is honored by not being interrupted. Ones personal honor is at stake is the meetings. 

Native people prefer to have a council with talking stick to solve disagreement/problems rather than confrontations that generally accomplish nothing. 

Native children are taught from age 3 to follow the rules of listening to a speaker and to give thought to their position. 

Long phases in answering a question or responding to inquiries is not unusual among native people. It is a sign that some thought is being put into their response. 


4.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Kavika @4    5 months ago

Dear Brother, Friend and Treasured Writing Partner Kavika: As that great poet, Saint and Mystic Yogi Berra once said, "You can hear a lot by listening".

The concept of the talking stick is something that should be taught and used in every school, public meeting and private discussion group on the planet.

It is observed we have two ears, and one mouth.

There is an implied ratio for usage!

Superlative post, Brother.

We need only be open to progress for it to occur.

The answers, like their sources are all around us.

We just need to be open to and work with them to move the ball down the field and over the goal line.

Peace and Abundant Blessings Always.


Raven Wing
4.1.1  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @4.1    5 months ago

There are only two things that I can add to what Kavika has already said, as they apply to many Native American Tribes.....



If we spent more time listening instead of instead of thinking only we had anything of value to be heard, the more we can learn from others to broaden our own horizons.

And the less time we spent on bullying and trying to denigrate others, the more time we could spend trying to understand others and why they feel/think as they do that can lead to helpful discussion. 

4.1.2  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @4.1.1    5 months ago

Dear Sister Raven Wing: Well said indeed.

Two gems.


We are grateful.

Peace and Abundant Blessings.


5  shona1    5 months ago

A/noon Raven and Kavika....I think this says it all and still works even in today's modern world....


Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

5.1  author  Enoch  replied to  shona1 @5    5 months ago

Dear Friend Shona1: Many thanks for the verse.

Lots of wisdom contained therein.

Super contribution.

Please do be a regular in these discussions.

You add much.

We are indebted.

Peace and Abundant Blessings.


Raven Wing
5.2  Raven Wing  replied to  shona1 @5    5 months ago

That is very well said, shona. Thank you for sharing this great enlightening saying. 

While there may be things that we as people may not agree with, if we truly take a look at each other as individuals there may be many things that we can agree on. And in that, can find ground to learn from each other if we are willing to close our mouths and open our ears. 

There is nothing of value to be learned or gained from snark, denigration and deliberate promotion of hatred toward others who may think differently from us. We can only learn through tolerance, understanding and Harmony. If we apply those three things in how we deal with others then there is no limit to what we can learn from each other that can help to enrich our own lives.

5.2.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @5.2    5 months ago

Dear Sister Raven Wing: You said it all!

Good on you.

We need to view people in terms of their personhood, not in terms of terms.


Raven Wing
5.2.2  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @5.2.1    5 months ago

We can sit in anonymity behind our monitor and let our fingers on the keyboard let us be whatever kind of person we want others to think of us as being, which may or may not be representative of our real selves. Or so we may think.

However, our real selves can't not hide for long behind that imagined facade. Then we have the real person vs the imagined person trying to compete for who we want the world to think of us, and it becomes very contradictory. Yet, our words will surely give away our true self in due time, as our keyboard can no longer do our thinking. 

The more of the real person we see, the easier it is to learn more about the person compared to the kind of person they try to promote themselves to be. I have seen that happen here with a few people who started out being a bully and trying to intimidate people. We did not get along well at all. But, over time, I have been able to see the real people behind their keyboard and we are now able to get along fairly well, and they are working on becoming more tolerant of others.

What it really comes down to is treating others treating others with the same civility, courtesy, tolerance and respect you want to be treated with. When that is achieved, or at least an attempt is made to achieve it, then new doors of communication can be opened in both directions.

5.2.3  shona1  replied to  Raven Wing @5.2.2    4 months ago

A/noon Raven and Enoch..Only have to look at what is going on in Thailand at the moment....A "United World" effort from all lands and walks of life trying to save those kids...No one gives a stuff about colour, religion or language they speak..The rescuers are there for one reason only....To save the lives of total strangers who are trapped in a cave and need their help....This is humanity at is best and it is amazing what we can achieve in times of darkness and distress...

Raven Wing
5.2.4  Raven Wing  replied to  shona1 @5.2.3    4 months ago

Hi Shona,

What would be truly amazing is if we could have that kind of overall unity without the darkness and distress. It is really telling that these individuals can achieve what the leaders in the world cannot achieve.  

5.2.5  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @5.2.2    4 months ago

Dear Friend Raven Wing: You not only talk the talk, you walk the walk!

Extremely sagacious.



5.2.6  author  Enoch  replied to  shona1 @5.2.3    4 months ago

Dear Friend Shona1: Perfect example.

We are to be the keepers of ALL our brothers and sisters.

Start with that and there is no stopping us. 

We are indebted.



6  nightwalker    4 months ago

I thought this is a good example of cooperation. in Minneapolis, a group of kids went to a Community College event and some of the subjects on display dealt with farming, gardening, cooking, baking and nutrition, and the kids realized that in their area (along with thousands of other areas in the U.S.) didn't have reasonable access to fresh vegetables.

There are supermarkets of course, but a lot or most of the people in that area don't have cars and the smaller markets don't have produce. So they got together with some other kids and adults and started a local community garden which I'm sure was the simplest thing in the world I don't know if it is everybody together or everybody gets a small plot to grow their favorites.

LOL That would be pretty good on it's own, but that Community event also mentioned baking, so they arranged to borrow some ovens to make various kinds of vegetable cookies and cakes and bread (carrot) and that went over well with people who didn't like the looks of some of the vegetables, and then did a little catering too.

Even better, and slightly surprisingly, there are still government grants to be had for such things and they snagged a couple. They broke it down to 1/3 to business and expansion, 1/3 to wages, present and future, and 1/3 to the community like emergency repairs to houses and alarms for houses that have been broken into and sort of a last resort for everybody else.

They hope to spread the idea to other produce poor areas, as sort of a pass-it-on idea.

So with a little information, a good deal of thought and a lot of cooperation, these kids managed to build something good.

I find that up-lifting, even if it isn't exactly a perfect fit in the discussion.  Winking 2

6.1  author  Enoch  replied to  nightwalker @6    4 months ago

Dear Friend Nightwalker: What a splendid example of what is precisely on point in this discussion topic.

Good on them.

There are food deserts in rural and urban areas.

Junk foods are available everywhere.

Healthy foods are not.

Moreover, when we bond with the soil, when we work in harmony with each other we commune and draw closer to nature and ourselves.

The best things come from often simple good things.

Fantastic contribution.

We are as indebted to you as we are proud of them.

Enoch, Going Out to Trim My Hedges and water my Tomatoes, Cucumbers, Swiss Chard, Bell Peppers and Radishes.  

6.2  CB  replied to  nightwalker @6    4 months ago

Truly touching account and very interesting. (Smile.)

6.2.1  author  Enoch  replied to  CB @6.2    4 months ago

Dear Brother Calbab: I totally agree.

Great contribution.



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