Failure and rejection don't always lead to success. And that's OK.
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
I wanted to be a poet. In my early twenties I got up at 4:30 every morning to write, and spent my free time reading and memorizing Wallace Stevens and Hopkins and Donne. I sent poems off to literary magazines every week and applied for many, many MFA programs.
I racked up hundreds of rejections. I didn't get into grad school.
And that's it. There's no happy ending. No one liked my work — not the people in my poetry groups, not my undergrad advisor, not editors or admissions committees. I failed at my dream job. It took me a while to get the hint, but eventually I did. I gave up. I don't write poetry now. I don't even read it much anymore.
As you're no doubt aware, that's not how these stories are supposed to go. Generally, when writers tell you about their rejections, it's a prelude to telling you about their final success — the validating sale, or award, or recognition which shows that getting up in the wee hours for years was worth the effort. You're supposed to end your anecdote by revealing that your instincts about yourself were right, and all your naysayers were deluded.......
There's nothing wrong with telling these kinds of stories. People who have struggled for success are understandably proud when they finally make it. And folks who are struggling themselves are clearly hungry for those narratives of triumph as well, judging by the ubiquity of the plot line in pop culture. From "The Karate Kid” to “Pitch Perfect,” we love stories about underdogs who fail and fail and work hard and then, in the final act, win.
We love those final acts so much, in fact, that talking about your struggle is often part of how you market yourself for success. Headlines about " how J.K. Rowling turned rejection into success " are great marketing for J.K. Rowling. Many of those using the #ShareYourRejection hashtag had the double benefit of being able to market themselves or their work while appearing appropriately humble.
But, for some folks, watching all that scrambling, and all that success, can be disheartening. A 2016 study of Facebook users found that on social media, reading about other people's success made users feel envious and depressed. Reading about everyone else's great times, career successes, and romantic dinners didn't inspire. It enervated. You look at everyone else's success, and you look at yourself, and the comparison doesn't make you feel happy. It makes you feel like a loser. All these people are getting grants and publishing cover stories and scaling amazing heights of personal and professional awesomeness. Meanwhile, my editor chewed me out and the story I was working on for months got killed. What now?
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I found this article interesting since we are told whatever doesn't kill us make us stronger. Well, it seems there is a lot of death out there.
So what is your take... do our losses makes us stronger or are the survivors the anomaly?
I’d say it could go either way. Every person and every loss is somewhat different so expecting different outcomes seems natural.
Even for the individual some losses may make us appreciate more what we have while some losses may seem to be a drag on us and be more of a burden we carry.
I think that is a fair assessment. It's also a personality thing I think. Some people actually do get stronger from a failure. They feel that they will not be beaten down. But there are others who just can't take it. I think those people should be realistic about the path they take in the lives.
I think most of us Believe we are being realistic. Reality isn’t the same for all of us, some want other things than others some people are realistic by nature some aren’t. Some people’s “passion” defies “reality” yet they push on and some like tesla and edison do accomplish many things.
I say that loss can and does work both ways from personal experience. Some of the losses of my loved ones has made me appreciate my life so much more, some of the loss of others I still grief to this day.
Life is a bitch.
It really does make sense to first pursue one's passion. Those who enjoy what they do generally are more effective than those who simply 'go to work'. But, alas, our passion is not always a good fit. Maybe the author is a poet well before his time. Does not matter, we all must abide (for the most part) by the current rules and values. We all must find our path through the maze of life. Sometimes we luck out and just happen to walk the right path but most of the time it takes a lot of effort to succeed.
Bottom line, in spite of all the set-backs that most endure, the winners are those who do not give up. They may adjust their 'dreams' along the way but they keep on pushing to success. In other words, the best way to lose is to give up trying. Never give up.
What if one doesn't have one ? Many times I have sat and thought. "What do I want, what do I want to do to earn a living ? What do I enjoy enough to want to do all day ? How do I want to change the world....
Notta !
lol
PS: I just asked myself this not long ago again, at 60 ... same results...notta.
Thankfully it doesn't really matter, I've done my job(s) saved my money and retired.
But It would have nice to have "A calling".
Notta !
lol
Music?
Nope, I love playing my drums but only when and what I want. To do that for money on someones else's schedule or playing what they wanted would ruin it for me.
I'm quite spoiled, I do what I want when I want. If that is a dream, I live it.
I guess your passion was to be retired.
Looks like you made it happen.
LOL.. No my retirement is a result of working and saving and getting old enough working is well just too much damn work.
If I had to put a finger on what my passion has been I would say it's been my independence.
My parents did all they could to control us kids, by the time I was 17 I'd had enough and set it up so I could stop actually going to high school but still graduate so I could start a full time job and move out of my parents house. My sister tried that and mom still wouldn't stop trying to control her so my sister moved to Germany to get away from her. My little brother was given a new pair of shoes and luggage for his 18th birthday.
Now ask me to do anything and I'll consider it, Tell me to do something and I'll probably tell ya ta drop dead first.
I learned long ago to stand up for myself and I didnt allow employers or employees take advantage of me or nor did I allow anyone else to for that matter, I earned what I have and expect others to do the same.
I dont rely on anyone and allow no one to rely on me. I really do what I want when I want and have for a long damn time. over 40 years !
Yep I made it happen...my way !
And thankfully I'm still healthy, financially stable, happy and best of all alive !!
Have a wonderful day !!
I assumed that. I suggested that you are now finally pursuing your passion via retirement.
Thanks but No, I actually had planned on working two more years. but the job ended prematurely and I decided that it was time to go ahead and retire. I thought about starting a new career but I dont have to work and couldn't think of anything I wanted to do for money so....
I retired.
No big deal , no fanfare, no notice and no frickin gold watch, Not even a pink slip, just the job ended and I no longer went to work.
.
BTW: I think my second passion was to help others less fortunate than I . (When I find them I'll start working on that passion).....LOL
Actually I do and did help a lot of folks in a lot of ways, I did learn to be able to do that though I also Had to take care of me First, or I'd end up the one needing the help.
More independence.
Go figure.
lol
Same here. My favorite band is Rush because my favorite drummer is Neil Peart. Carter Beauford (Dave Matthews Band) is my second favorite. Plenty of interesting songs that are fun to play. For example Rush's Spirit of Radio and Dave Matthews' Shake Me Like a Monkey.
I have a DW kit that is a fusion of the kits of Peart and Beauford (albeit less instruments).
I would have loved to be rock star drummer but I did not think the odds were good for that career path. So I pursued a lesser passion.
LOL Peart is the only real drummer alive !!
I also love Peart but I can not play along with him.
I like to play along with the music. I have wonderful old set of altec lancing model #19 voice of the theater (the real mahogany studio ones) speakers, they still crank to the point of shaking the house and sound so realistic I play my drums (a Yamaha mable 11 piece set complete with 10 Zildjan cymbals) with the music level at the same level as what my drums produce. It's like playing life with the bands. I play a lot of Bad Company, It's just my style.
My set is wonderful. it took me three x-mases to myself to complete what I have. It was all almost stolen and I would have been crushed. My whole storage unit was cleaned out. The only things left were my drums and my huge ass speakers... Why ? I really don't know but NO Shit.
They did put their own lock back on my unit so I think they may just not have had the room to steal them at the time and were planning on coming back for them. I didn't give them the opportunity the speakers and drums left that day right then with me.
Damn I was never so glad to see anything material as I was when that storage door opened and there sat my drums and speakers. They took almost everything else and got thousands of dollars worth of my stuff, but none of that mattered .... my Drums and speaker were there !!
I still have them today many years later and don't ever plan on getting rid of them.
They are pictured in my avatar even.
.
Yep, Peart rules !
One of these days maybe they'll even get into the hall of RnR fame. But who cares they've always jammed in my book !
.
Rush is in the R&R Hall of Fame. That is one of the induction shows that I actually watched.
The drum gods were smiling on you 321.
Damn, Finally !! Good !
The drum gods were smiling on you.
Evidently !! Like I said I really think it was just too much for them to steal all at once and they were probably planning on coming back.
The funny part is the drums were all torn down and the cymbals were all in a single cymbal bag. That one bag was worth thousand of dollars all on its own, and It fit anywhere so, they weren't real smart even, Thankfully !!
The speakers though are huge, over 3 ft tall and 2 ft wide and a foot and a half deep they are solid mahogany and they weigh over 150 lbs each.
I really think they wanted this stuff but couldn't take it at the time. I was sooo LUCKY !!
..................................
The weirdest part was, before the storage people cut off the lock the thieves had put on my unit, as I stood there in my mind I saw what the unit looked like even Before it was opened, I saw my drums and speakers sitting there ! When they opened the door, it was just as I had seen in my mind moments ago.
Fuckin wierd !!
and no lie !
Yes , for sure life is a bitch. Some people get lucky with little effort ( or talent) while others struggle who have amazing talent and get nowhere.
Of course, Tesla and Edison come to mind. Tesla, who was the real talent got little in his life, while Edison who was a salesman had great success. Of course, this never detered Tesla. He was doing something that he was passionate about.
Yep and where and whom you are born to makes a huge difference in the opportunities just outside your door as well.
Reach for the moon!!
... and fall flat on your face...
Well, that can happen, too.
I have to tell you I love how you used the fonts to express that. I think you should have gone into advertising.
I was referring to the use of little and big fonts... but hey if that inspires you, go for it!! I know you can do it BF!
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The "Strong" KNOW when to adjust, especially after many rejections of the "SAME THING" over and over.
Someone or Something is actually trying to tell you something. Ignore it, and it will be the same outcome.....every friggin time.
It's just like "Scratch Off" type folks. "One day I'll hit the jackpot" !
Well.....how much did you actually spend to get that "ONE" payoff.
But - how 'bout looking at Mr. J. C. Penny - Born in 1875, started his chain store businesses in 1962.
"In 1962, J. C. Penney entered discount merchandising with the acquisition of General Merchandise Company which gave them The Treasury stores. These discount operations proved unsuccessful and were shuttered in 1981. In 1963, J. C. Penney issued its first catalog. The company operated in-store catalog desks in eight states. The catalogs were distributed by the Milwaukee Catalog distribution center.
The company dedicated its first full-line, shopping center department store in 1961. This store was located at Black Horse Pike Center, in Audubon, New Jersey. The second full-line shopping center store was dedicated, at King of Prussia Plaza, in King of Prussia, Pennsylvania in late 1962. Those stores expanded the lines of merchandise and services that an average J. C. Penney carried to include appliances, sporting goods, garden merchandise, restaurants, beauty salons, portrait studios, auto parts and auto centers."
What about him ?
Well, it took him from 1921 to 1962 to get his business of shopping centers working - hell of a success story.
Took many adjustments on his end didn't it. Wonder what their problem is now ?
Dear Friend Perrie: For some, doing personal best is the definition of success.
Let the chips fall where they may on how others view, reward or disparage efforts.
We cannot control results, or how others perceive and react to them.
The one thing we can ride herd on is giving an effort all we have to spare it.
Peace and Abundant Blessings Always.
Enoch.