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Why Do We Celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day and Other Fake Holidays?

  

Category:  The Lighter Side/ Humor

Via:  sister-mary-agnes-ample-bottom  •  5 years ago  •  51 comments

Why Do We Celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day and Other Fake Holidays?
Now watch as I fire a broadside straight into your yardarm!

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T



Got plans for September 19, 2019? You do now: It's International Talk Like a Pirate Day! So prepare your timbers to be shivered and wait… what? Is this seriously a holiday? What is this all about? And why, exactly, is there a formal holiday for not just pirates but for talking like pirates? You have questions. We have (weird) answers.

How did Talk Like a Pirate Day get started?

On June 6, 1995, John Baur and Mark Summers were playing a friendly game of racquetball when, for some reason neither can quite remember, they started saying "Arr!" when returning a volley. That quickly turned into other funny pirate-isms, like "Now watch as I fire a broadside straight into your yardarm!" You know, as one does.

The duo decided that the pirate speak made the game—and life—so much more fun that they needed to start an international "talk like a pirate" day so that everyone and their mateys could know the joy of imitating a parrot and calling your boss a bilge rat.

Why September 19th?

First order of business was to pick a date for this new holiday. "It couldn't be the date we decided it; as any guy can tell you, June 6 is the anniversary of World War II's D-Day. Guys hold dates like that in reverence and awe so there was no way we could use June 6," they explain. So Mark came up with September 19. That was (and still is!) his ex-wife's birthday, and the only date he could think of that wasn't already taken by Christmas or the Super Bowl or something.

Is Mark's ex-wife actually a pirate?

We don't know! They never clarified this point! So for the sake of fun, let's say yes.

Why do the rest of us celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day?

Most of us don't play racquetball and it's probably fair to say that none of us were ever married to Mark's ex-wife so what significance does this day hold to the rest of us? Enter famed humorist Dave Barry. In 2002, the duo sent their holiday idea to him on a whim and he liked it so much he wrote a whole column on the "new holiday" for the Miami Herald. From there, it swept the world like, well, a fire through the poop decks.

No, seriously, why?

"Talking like a pirate is fun. It's really that simple. It adds a zest, a swagger, to your everyday conversation. Do you need another reason?" Mark and John argue. "Try it out. Let go, have a beer, burp in public. Say 'Aarrr!!' Feels good, doesn't it?" Fair point, guys. Who wouldn't laugh at these pirate puns and jokes?

How do you celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day?

Well, for starters, you have to talk like a pirate. Not sure how? Try the Pirate Guys' pirate speak tutorial. It will take you from "Ahoy" (hello) to "lubber" (lover, as in land lover, as in not a pirate) to "bung hole" (which is not what you think it is!).

After that, all festivities are up to you. They recommend eating some guacamole (as avocados were discovered by pirates), sending messages in a bottle (but do it in a non-littering way), reading a pirate-themed book, wearing a jaunty hat, or drinking some grog. 


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Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
1  seeder  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom    5 years ago

I be needin' some laughs, me hearties.  All topics and insults (CoC friendly please) welcome as long as they are made entirely in 'pirate speak'.  

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
1.1  Enoch  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @1    5 years ago

Dear Friend SMAAB: Great article.

Enjoying the idea and the posts.

Thanks for starting off the day with a smile.

Counting slices, for lunch I will have Pizzas of Eight.

Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle Fun.

Enoch, Brushing a Parrot Off My Shoulder.

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
1.1.1  seeder  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  Enoch @1.1    5 years ago
Counting slices, for lunch I will have Pizzas of Eight.

Land ho, Matey.  Ye have chosen me favorite grub to accompany me grog.  (Seriously, I just ordered pizza.)

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
PhD Quiet
1.1.3  igknorantzrulz  replied to  Release The Kraken @1.1.2    5 years ago

they send over her pie

and hopefully not the bloody plurrrrralll

that Trrrrrummppyy orders, as that wood B  Her PPP'Z

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
1.1.4  seeder  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  Release The Kraken @1.1.2    5 years ago
You can order pizza's on tinder?

Yar.  A peek at me goods is all it be takin'.

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
 
 
igknorantzrulz
PhD Quiet
2.1  igknorantzrulz  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @2    5 years ago

here's what translator came up with,  i didn't realize i was speaking White housaneeze

.Sink me! dick in ya with a taste of Tungsten steel yer bloody hearty har har heart away till yer sexuality turns gay till you're too happy to have it all taken away by a Scooby Doo Doo Doggy style Day gone bye by till ye can't spell know more

 
 
 
sandy-2021492
Professor Expert
3  sandy-2021492    5 years ago

Facebook used to have "pirate" as a language option for Speak Like a Pirate Day, and it was hilarious.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
4  Kavika     5 years ago

Last time I talked like a Pirate they locked me up. 

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
4.1  seeder  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  Kavika @4    5 years ago
Last time I talked like a Pirate they locked me up.

Blimey, ye were locked up for not wearing pants.  

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
4.1.1  Kavika   replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @4.1    5 years ago

This is Keylo, an 75 lb pit bull that really isn't a Pirate but does specialize in stealing hearts. 

70416935_3144541525601617_40177106772536

P.S. Keylo doesn't wear pants.

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
4.1.2  Sparty On  replied to  Kavika @4.1.1    5 years ago

Lol no good pirate does .... wear pants that is ....

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
PhD Quiet
4.1.3  igknorantzrulz  replied to  Kavika @4.1.1    5 years ago

an Albino Pirate...?

Ahy Ahy Matey     well,    one Ahy at least

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
5  JohnRussell    5 years ago

Thar she blows !

Sexy+Ivanka+Trump+hot+Cleavage+wallpaper.1.jpg

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
PhD Quiet
5.1  igknorantzrulz  replied to  JohnRussell @5    5 years ago

isn't that Trumpppps'    errrhhhh   Mateeeeey

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
5.1.1  seeder  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  igknorantzrulz @5.1    5 years ago

Harharharharharsnortcoughharharharhar!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
5.2  seeder  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  JohnRussell @5    5 years ago

Blimey, those would keep me pirate ship afloat! 

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
5.2.1  JohnRussell  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @5.2    5 years ago

Her father paid for them with his plundered booty. 

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
5.2.2  JohnRussell  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @5.2    5 years ago

Walking the skank. 

Ivanka-Trump-with-Donald-Trump-Walking-T

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
5.2.3  Sparty On  replied to  JohnRussell @5.2.2    5 years ago

Lol any red blooded dude that sez they wouldn't hit Ivanka if given the chance is simply lying or is possibly gay ..... not that there's anything wrong with that ..............

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
PhD Quiet
5.2.4  igknorantzrulz  replied to  Sparty On @5.2.3    5 years ago

i'd let her walk my woody plank

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
5.2.5  Sparty On  replied to  igknorantzrulz @5.2.4    5 years ago

Honest man ye are

Fine looking woman she be

Less partisan hate

 
 
 
MrFrost
Professor Expert
5.3  MrFrost  replied to  JohnRussell @5    5 years ago

The best tits daddy could buy for her. 

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
5.3.1  Sparty On  replied to  MrFrost @5.3    5 years ago

You’d hit it, you know you would ......

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
6  Sparty On    5 years ago

Ahoy ye landlubbers.

I looked up "Scurvy Dog" in the Pirate Dictionary and this is what i found:

256

Yaaaarrr!

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
PhD Quiet
6.1  igknorantzrulz  replied to  Sparty On @6    5 years ago

she B lackin vitamin C...?

errrrhhh eyes errrr bulgin likr a gold digggeeeerrrrrrrr  fish

oar

she bin hit upside da head with a plank

may have to walk 

that back

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
6.1.1  seeder  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  igknorantzrulz @6.1    5 years ago
may have to walk  that back

Not here, me lubber-boy.  Blimey, it's thee point of the seed.

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
6.2  seeder  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  Sparty On @6    5 years ago
I looked up "Scurvy Dog" in the Pirate Dictionary and this is what i found:

Well shave me belly with a rusty razor! That be a fine example of a scurvy dog look, me matey!  On a side note, had I seen that one, I might not have voted for her.  

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
6.2.1  Sparty On  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @6.2    5 years ago

Why do you think Bubba strayed?  

Poor bastard!

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
7  Trout Giggles    5 years ago

What's a pirate's favorite letter?

RRRRRRRRRR............

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
PhD Quiet
7.1  igknorantzrulz  replied to  Trout Giggles @7    5 years ago

no D emocratic or I ndependent P irates...?

only  RRRRRRRRRRR R eta RT           television    Type Oooo'z    positively negative

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
7.1.1  seeder  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  igknorantzrulz @7.1    5 years ago

no D emocratic or I ndependent P irates...?

Yar, always the clever scallywag.

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
8  JohnRussell    5 years ago

512

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
8.1  seeder  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  JohnRussell @8    5 years ago

That scallywag deserves every slap. 

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
8.1.1  Sparty On  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @8.1    5 years ago

Looks like he likes it ....

 
 
 
Krishna
Professor Expert
12  Krishna    5 years ago

Seems like everything get's politicized now-a-days.

And guess what? 

There are even pirate political parties!

Pirate Party is a label adopted by political parties in different countries. Pirate parties support civil rights, direct democracy (including e-democracy) or alternatively participation in government, reform of copyright and patent law, free sharing of knowledge (open content), information privacy, transparency, freedom of information, free speech, anti-corruption and net neutrality.[1]

Some have actually succeeded in get a few representatives elected. (It looks like the countries where they've been most successful are the Czech Republic,...and Iceland).

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
12.1  seeder  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  Krishna @12    5 years ago

Nary an arrrrrrr or a yo...ho?  

 
 
 
MrFrost
Professor Expert
13  MrFrost    5 years ago

So a pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, pirate, what's the ships wheel doing in your pants!!?"

Pirate: "I don't know but it's drivin' me nuts!!!" 

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
13.1  Sparty On  replied to  MrFrost @13    5 years ago

Yaaarr!

How much does it cost a Pirate to get his ears pierced?

A Buccaneer ....

 
 
 
sandy-2021492
Professor Expert
13.1.1  sandy-2021492  replied to  Sparty On @13.1    5 years ago

How much did the pirate pay for corn?

A buck an ear.

 
 
 
dave-2693993
Junior Quiet
14  dave-2693993    5 years ago

Gore blimey, lass, everybody like t' 'ave a wee fun

 
 

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