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Trump Gets My Panties in a Knot

  

Category:  News & Politics

By:  eat-the-press-do-not-read-it  •  4 years ago  •  68 comments

Trump Gets My Panties in a Knot
"We Shoot Horses, don't we?"

Every time that fat, orange, ball of grease and congealed, undigestible disgust burps out one of his Mad As A Hatter rants at one of his notorious RALLY IN THE ALLEY rejection events, I get all rowed up, twisted;  my panties in a knot.

The only thing I can think of is Dick Cheney & Donald Grunt, double dating on a hunting trip somewhere in Broke Back Mountain with an all liquored up shameless Cheney.

That images played over and over again in me head settles me down, especially, the ending.

Why, dear God, do I have to endure his pain. Are there no patriots left in 'Merica. Are they all on the Right?

There are those who claim that this blob of Fake Tan, Bleached Hair and pursed lips is favored by GOD.  Who's GOD are these Maroons referring? The God of Adultery? The God of Pathological Liars? The God of Caging Children? 

Somethin' is a gone all wrong in 'Merica. Where are the psychos when we need them?  At Trump's Rally singin' "Lock Her Up! Knock Her Up, Trump is God?"

Doesn't that strike you as a tab bit odd?




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Eat The Press Do Not Read It
PhD Guide
1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 years ago

I am still unable to empty my cache, or, me litter box with any level of dexterity. Therefore, when I create one of my God's Gifts to you all, I am limited by Satan to viewing only two lines.

CB helped me fix this once before, but, at 78.2 months and rapidly approaching me EXPIRATION DATE my mind is not what is was before. Oddly, it open happens on this site.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
PhD Guide
1.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @1    4 years ago

ONLY happens on this site.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
PhD Guide
2  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 years ago

I do so LOVE the nasty comments. Please, keep sending them. The anger keeps me heart pumping and I feel so rejuvenated when I read them.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
PhD Guide
3  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 years ago

[removed as deathwishing]

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
Professor Participates
3.1  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @3    4 years ago

I actually got a call from some Trump voting committee and asked if I would pull the lever for him.  I replied with "Only if it releases two cyanide pellets into a bucket of acid."  They hung up on me.  Republicans just have no sense of humor.  FTR, I am not death wishing him.  I want him voted out, not taken out.  It was just me being a smart ass.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
PhD Guide
3.1.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Paula Bartholomew @3.1    4 years ago

That was brilliant. I haven't had a laugh like that in a long while. I am still smiling. Thanks, Paula! The laughter is cathartic, I felt myself laughing and getting a breathe of fresh air.

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
Professor Participates
3.1.2  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @3.1.1    4 years ago

Happy to be of service. (Bicentennial Man)

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
PhD Guide
3.2  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @3    4 years ago

[Deleted]

 
 
 
The Magic 8 Ball
Masters Quiet
4  The Magic 8 Ball    4 years ago
Where are the psychos when we need them?

on the left with their panties in a knot also.

maybe start a twisted panties club / facebook group, something like that?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
PhD Guide
4.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  The Magic 8 Ball @4    4 years ago

Wonderful idea. I am on it as soon as I drain the Trump Swamp.

 
 
 
The Magic 8 Ball
Masters Quiet
4.1.1  The Magic 8 Ball  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @4.1    4 years ago
as soon as I drain the Trump Swamp

so, about 5 yrs from now huh?

LOL :)

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
PhD Guide
5  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 years ago

To save our NATION, we must first cleanse it. Start your day with "Your Morning Trump Dump!"

Don't Forget to Wipe Your Pence. That Thing is More Toxic Than Your Trump Dump!

This has been a PSA from the sick folks at Eat The Press - Do Not Wipe Your Bun With It.

 
 
 
Dean Moriarty
Professor Quiet
6  Dean Moriarty    4 years ago

512

 
 
 
Greg Jones
Professor Participates
6.1  Greg Jones  replied to  Dean Moriarty @6    4 years ago

Just about everything apparently. And to think these pathological psychos will have to endure

FOUR MORE YEARS

of Trump!

jrSmiley_49_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
PhD Guide
6.1.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Greg Jones @6.1    4 years ago

"The world will little note, nor long remember the" Orange Imposter; his hair will be set a fire in the Blaze of Hades, and his White Whale like texture will turn to slimy oil for Satan to suck on, or, something like that, is what I see in me Sacred Hallucinations.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
PhD Guide
6.2  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Dean Moriarty @6    4 years ago

Russians interference in the 2020 election, Trump's attack on a 17-year-old Nobel winner, punishing Whistle-Blowers, and threatening to shred the Constitution to stay in power, among the little things I like the least about the ORANGE BLEEK!

 
 
 
squiggy
Junior Silent
6.3  squiggy  replied to  Dean Moriarty @6    4 years ago

80412722_2749510411775266_8476439479907778560_n.jpg?_nc_cat=108&_nc_sid=a61e81&_nc_ohc=hESwT5mgWMEAX8z4B-5&_nc_ht=scontent.fabe1-1.fna&oh=76f8da3d08bb7f2d2aa0334e4b604034&oe=5EC8D461

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
PhD Guide
6.3.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  squiggy @6.3    4 years ago

Gutting Social Security so old folks might starve. That is always fun!
Cutting Medicare - 'Merica don't need any damn sick folks!
Chopping the budget into lettuce to feed hungry kids is smart and cheap. They won't know they are eating shredded paper.
Drones manufacture in Saudia Arabia help to create jobs in foreign countries is always good for the economy.
Slashing our Intelligence Agency because Trump relies on Russia's Intel.


 
 
 
Ronin2
Professor Quiet
6.3.2  Ronin2  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @6.3.1    4 years ago

When you throw BS, you really throw BS.

Gutting Social Security so old folks might starve. That is always fun!
Cutting Medicare - 'Merica don't need any damn sick folks!
Chopping the budget into lettuce to feed hungry kids is smart and cheap. They won't know they are eating shredded paper.

Will never happen without approval from Congress. The Democrats control the House; so all you have is left wing talking points.

Drones manufacture in Saudia Arabia help to create jobs in foreign countries is always good for the economy.

You have a link to back this up right? What am I saying? You never back up anything you post! OR are you talking about this?

China has struck a surprise deal to manufacture military drones at a factory in Saudi Arabia.

It forms part of a suite of agreements totalling $60bn agreed during King Salman's visit to the country last month that will also see the two countries develop oil refineries and co-operate on China’s Chang E-4 moon mission.

The deal comes as Saudi Arabia and its Gulf neighbours continue an unprecedented rush for arms to cope with what they see as a number of counter-terrorism threats across the region.

Meanwhile, long-standing ally, the United States shows no sign of granting those countries access to its own military drone technology.

Who started this ban? Hint, it wasn't Trump.

Under the new policy, the sale or transfer of a U.S.-made weaponized drone must advance four goals. It must enhance “the operational capabilities and capacity of trusted partner nations” and increase “US interoperability with these partners for coalition operations.” Any export of armed drones also must ensure “responsible use” and ease “stress on US force structure.”

But Trruuummmmppppp!!!! What BS.

Slashing our Intelligence Agency because Trump relies on Russia's Intel.

So you support US Intelligence Agencies having no vetting, oversight, or accountability? That is unless they are investigating a Democrat. Then it is all a vast right wing conspiracy. It is well past time they cleaned house at the Intelligence Agencies. Too much political bias BS; and complete ignoring of evidence and facts. Like the fact that Putin doesn't give a fuck about Trump. Otherwise he wouldn't have had his bot companies organize protests against him after he was elected.

But what was the f'ing narrative our "not so intelligent" agencies pushed? "Russians backed Trump". Way to do Putin's job for him. Morons. At least they haven't learned anything from past stupidity. They are making the same moronic claims again. I am almost hoping Bernie wins the Democratic nomination so the Russian bots can switch to supporting him. That should catch the morons in the US Intelligence Community completely flat footed. Hell, they ignored Russian bots supporting Bernie last time, so why not?

And part of the effort was designed to assist Sanders, the special counsel said.

The defendants "engaged in operations primarily intended to communicate derogatory information about Hillary Clinton, to denigrate other candidates such as Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio, and to support Bernie Sanders and then-candidate Donald Trump."

The indictment quotes a specific order given to the covert campaign to "use any opportunity to criticize Hillary and the rest (except Sanders and Trump — we support them)."

U.S. officials have informed Senator Bernie Sanders that Russia is attempting to aid his presidential campaign in an effort to interfere in the 2020 Democratic primary, the Washington Post reported on Friday. It’s not yet clear how Russia is backing Sanders this time around, but in its efforts to help elect President Trump in 2016, the Kremlin used social media to support the Sanders campaign and fuel discord and division among the U.S. electorate to weaken support for Hillary Clinton.

Funny how what was leaked out Congress doesn't mention the Russians "helping Sanders" at all. Nor did the agencies try to correct the leak. Great politically unbiased bullshit again. Putin must love having the US Intelligence Agencies and the Democrats doing his damn job for him again.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
PhD Guide
6.3.3  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Ronin2 @6.3.2    4 years ago

No, no, no! Ronin2, Sanders has addressed it on all the networks, except Fox.  One has to stop listening to that FAKE NEWS CHANNEL.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
PhD Guide
6.3.4  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Ronin2 @6.3.2    4 years ago

BTW, as an ORACLE, appointed by GOD, l speak that others may understand and, thereby, tell me what I said, for I am, butt, the vessel.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
PhD Guide
6.3.5  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Ronin2 @6.3.2    4 years ago

There is not a word that emerges from the pursed lips of that vulgar person, some prefer to call "Trump".

Devious dictators for eons have fooled the Masses of Arse some of the time for long times, but, not all of the time.

Eventually, their greed, cruelty, and vulgarity catches up with their soul and crushes it into bits of bitter dust.

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
7  Ender    4 years ago

For someone that continually said he would be too busy to play golf, he sure as hell has a lot of time on his hands to hold a rally every other day.

 
 
 
SteevieGee
Professor Silent
7.1  SteevieGee  replied to  Ender @7    4 years ago

Well, that and he still plays golf.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
PhD Guide
8  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 years ago

Four more years of muddle leadership, cruelty, constant lying and robbing the public coffers by a common Con Man, who some folks believe that GOD appointed to the Oval Office.

It wasn't God, Moriarty, it was the other guy.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
PhD Guide
9  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 years ago

It's the six hours of "Executive Time", the naps, and the ability not to read or deal with the reality that allows the Dumpster to play, and, of course, CHEAT at golf.

 
 
 
Nerm_L
Professor Expert
10  Nerm_L    4 years ago

Well, at least Trump has forced Democrats to wear panties.  That's a start.

The alternative to Trump was a Democratic version of Trump named Clinton.  That mighty, blue D wouldn't have made any difference.  The 2016 election was a race to the bottom.  And Democrats are scraping bottom again.  Democrats won't listen to common sense advice:

You need a bigger tractor!

384

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
PhD Guide
11  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 years ago

I Like Mike - Not Ike!

 
 
 
squiggy
Junior Silent
11.1  squiggy  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @11    4 years ago

Yea, but Haley'll outrun the VP.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
PhD Guide
11.1.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  squiggy @11.1    4 years ago

She, too, has declared that GOD appointed Trump to return America to its Christian roots.

God does not appoint our President, Putin does, and he is not working for GOD!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
PhD Guide
12  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 years ago

Well, thank you very much, Friends and Fellow Cunt-try-mens to allow an old, senile, former pigeon stranglers the opportunity to empty his bowels. That was quite refreshing!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
PhD Guide
13  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 years ago

Mostly, we just pass gas here. It is refreshing to have an opportunity to untangle those knots. Nite All - I take it ever chance I get.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
PhD Guide
14  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 years ago

Hey, fellow members of the Corn Hole De-Generation, are we not allowed to post photographs on our comments section, or, within the text of our brilliantly composed treatises? I do not see the icon for photos. Is that a change?

My collection of Political Pornographic Photos is throwing a tantrum that would rival one of Trump's!  Help!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
PhD Guide
15  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 years ago

To All of My NewsTalkers.com Trump Fans, that I have not offended, please be patient, I will get to you soon enough.

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
16  Sparty On    4 years ago

Buy panties that don’t bunch up so easily.

You are welcome ....

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
PhD Guide
16.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Sparty On @16    4 years ago

Duluth has those, I shall take you up on that suggestion. You are welcome.

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
16.1.1  Sparty On  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @16.1    4 years ago

de nada mi amigo

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
PhD Guide
16.1.2  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Sparty On @16.1.1    4 years ago

Gracias!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
PhD Guide
17  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 years ago

Life is too short without enemies! - Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo

 
 
 
JBB
Professor Principal
17.1  JBB  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @17    4 years ago

With friends like this bunch...who needs enemas? 

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
PhD Guide
17.1.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  JBB @17.1    4 years ago

Republicans need them, by the millions. 

They are really back up.

That is what makes them so mean, so angry and so terribly angry. But, of course, not all of them because that would be a Sweeping Generalization and we were all taught in Sunday School that Jesus said that he would "punch anyone out that uses one," as I recall.

 
 
 
JBB
Professor Principal
17.1.2  JBB  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @17.1.1    4 years ago

So, conservatism is caused by constipation?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
PhD Guide
17.1.3  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  JBB @17.1.2    4 years ago

Yes, that is what my research team, here, at the Bird Droppings Institute - A Think Tank For Morons, No, Idiots, Please, discovered after their extensive 1.08-second analysis of the subject.

Constipation and Conservatism both start with "C", therefore, they are united by one gigantic glutinous Maximum, Trump.

The evidence is overwhelming and required no more study than that wasted on it already. - Jonathan Livingston Pigeon, CEO & Flounder.256

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
PhD Guide
18  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 years ago

256 I have never met a Right Winger who couldn't crack me up. Those cats are hysterical!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
PhD Guide
20  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 years ago

What happened to the Icon on the Comment Section that allows one to insert photos into the content.

I have been out of commission for a while due to my ascent to Heaven, a periodic event for ORACLES, and when I returned it seemed to this wise old bag of twisted wit, that something has changed.

I would be ever so grateful if one might set me straight. I am quite bent over.

 
 

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