My Fellow Left Leaning Liberals Too Lazy To Get A Job: I have troubling news!
Brother & Sistas of the Corn Hole Degeneration, you know who I am takin' to, you lazy Left Leaning Liberal that waste their lives away playing that "damnable" game, "Corn Hole."
It is not a profession, Knuckleheads. It is a game developed for preschool kids to help them with their "Eye-Hand Coordination," Boneheads. It is not an Olympic game that your are training for at the local shat kickers' Choke &
Chock Bar & Greasy Grill.
"Get ye to a tannery, Meathead!"
"The days of suckin' from da gumint troth be over, Butcher Breath."
"Trump is coming after all of us and shutting off the feedbag. It's time to get a job. The party is over, fellow parasites. Didn't you watch the Academy Awards? Trump is comin' down on parasites. He even attacked the film by that name.
"We be in for a cardboard box rattling change, and we's got to be prepared for it, Fellow Left Leaning Liberals.
Our sauces, here, at Eat The Press - Do Not Wipe Your Bun With It, a feller name Steve Bunions, a former White House big Whig, who was booted out fer gettin' more press coverage than the Orange Buffoon.
We, that be me, Jonathan Livingston-Pigeon-Poo, "Doctored," discovered him living in the basement of the Washington Monument, just a stone throw from his former domicile.
So, naturally, we signed him up as our Washington correspondent 'cause he works for wine. And, so do we's.
Bunion informed us that Trump is comin' after "bums," and gonna boots us out of the Union 'cause we ain't worked since the "Yippy-Hippy Dazes."
Yu'll better straighten' up yur shat!
Get a burr hair cut, steal a blue suit, a white shirt and, especially an extra long red tie, to blend in with the ever changin' culture. 'Cause times they are a changin'. No more panhandling, not more sleeping in da park, we got to Get wi' it, er, git out of 'Merica! Lyrics by Willy BoJangles
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