Some More Covid Humour
Some More Covid Humour
No original source to identify - these were sent in an email by my brother
- I’m having a quarantine party this weekend! None of you is invited.
- We are just two to three weeks away from learning everyone’s real hair color.
- All these people are worrying about a baby boom in the next nine months. Two days of homeschooling should nip that right in the bud!
- All I can think about now when I’m watching any TV show or movie is how everyone is standing WAY too close together.
- I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe!
- The Department of Health is looking to hire couples married seven years or more to educate people on social distancing.
- Quarantine Day 16. I’ve started taking calls from telemarketers. Some of them are actually quite nice. Jamar from Superior Life Insurance has a new baby.
- Grocery shopping has become a real life version of Pac-Man. Avoid everyone, get the fruit, and take any route possible to avoid contact.
- So we don’t go to restaurants, kids aren’t signed up for anything, and we just stayed home for Spring Break? Sounds like my childhood.
- This is like being 16 again. Gas is cheap and I’m grounded. Geez.
- My wife and I play this fun game during quarantine. It’s called, “Why Are You Doing It That Way?” There are no winners.
- When we come out of this and I ask you where you want to eat, I do NOT want to hear, “I don’t know.” ...YOU HAD 45 DAYS!
- Can’t wait until this is over so I can go back to social distancing on my own terms.
- My car probably thinks I died.
If your parents are over 60 and want to go out ... FORBID THEM! If they complain and say, “But everyone else is doing it”, tell them, “You’re not everyone.” IT’S PAYBACK TIME!
- Hormel Foods made their first batch of SPAM in 1937. With everyone out shopping and hoarding food, they have announced they will be making their second batch later this week.
- If you believe that the Yankees will be playing in two weeks, raise your right hand. Now slap yourself with it.
- Due to my isolation, I finished three books yesterday. And believe me, that’s a lot of coloring! - Anyone else getting a tan from the light in your frig?
Contrary to some people's belief, laughter is better medicine than lysol.
LOL, some good ones in that batch.
Covid-19
Some new ones...
Everything for summer is cancelled. May as well just put up the Christmas tree and call it a year !
Pretty wild how we used to eat cake after someone had blown on it....good times....
I can't believe it's riot season already. I still have my COVID decorations up.
Single man with Purell and Lysol seeking singel woman with toilet paper for good clean fun.
Romance novels written during Covid-19 will be like.... "And then she slowly slipped her mask down, revealing her warm red lips, and her blushed face, as their eyes met, he gently removed her gloves."
- We are just two to three weeks away from learning everyone’s real hair color.
Hairdressers are essential workers -- at least in my opinion.
I've not been to a barber for more than 6 months, and for the second time in my life I could actually tie a ponytail. Here is a photo fo the first time...my mother loved my long blond locks.
I'm getting pretty close to that level too, at least in the back. On top, not so much. Hoping the barber opens up Monday. I could let my son cut it. He does both of the boys' hair. He gets it neat and clean but I haven't had hair that short since I went to Boot Camp. Besides, the barber is much nicer than he is.
I stopped coloring my hair years ago. I get more compliments on my silver streaks than I ever did on any color from a box. My husband is loving that I haven't been able to get my hair cut. I just want my ends trimmed, but it is the longest I've had it in years. If it were a straight cut, I'd let someone at home do it, but my hair is layered and wavy... I don't trust that anyone in my home could handle it. Heck, I only get my hair cut or trimmed a couple times a year anyways. I'm not very girly.
I've worn my hair long for years, usually to the middle of my shoulder blades. Because of this COVID19 I haven't had it trimmed in months. A couple of weeks ago my wife cut my hair and now by ponytail is back to the middle of my shoulder blades. She cut off 6 inches of hair...
She did a really good job, I may hire her full time.
Reminds me of one I heard a few years back.
A doctor was out in front of his house mowing the lawn. A snooty looking lady drove up and asked him, "How much do you charge for mowing that lawn? I may wish to hire you." His reply, "Well, usually the lady of the house lets me sleep with her." She didn't ask any more questions; just drove off quickly.
LOL, good one.
I love it!
Thanks, Buzz, you put me in a great mood with your humor. Especially the one about Spam.