Empathy... An informative experience...
In a recent comment on a controversial topic I explained my feelings to the article author in what I thought was a pretty clear and, if I do say so myself, compelling way. At the end of my comment I posed a few questions, one of which was
( paraphrase ) Do you, who feels so differently than I, have any empathy for people like me?
That author of the articleacknowledged the clarity of my comment and question, and then said this as part of his answer
( paraphrase ) No, I don't. Sympathy, yes. But empathy implies an ability to feel as you do, and I don't understand anybody who actually feels the way you do.
This got me thinking about empathy. I often make a conscious effort to empathize, especially with people who have very different ideas than I have. I considered why I do that and what sometimes makes empathy difficult for me. Heres what came to mind
My interest in empathizing with others arose from childhood experiences. As is common with children, I witnessed and was the target of ostracizing behavior from my peers. To be perfectly honest, I probably dished out some of that bad behavior myself, but as the recipient of those ostracizing experiences I very quickly started wishing that others could know how their actions impacted me and that subsequently curbed my bad behavior. I was wishing for empathy from others not sympathy empathy. Although I cant say that I understood this as well at the time as I do now, Im sure I was subconsciously hoping that empathy would change the behavior of others as it had changed my behavior. Eventually, I identified this hope as the ethic expressed in The Golden Rule.
Over time The Golden Rule has become a stronger and stronger part of my personal ethics, and I try to apply it to much more than just other people. For me, it was pretty easy to extend The Golden Rule to other animals, especially mammals. I consider
- How might I feel about my circumstances if I was that animal?
- What would I think of the humans I encountered?
- What would my hopes be for how humans would interact with me?
Eventually, I started considering the impact of my actions on the environment plants, and even non-living things. As a kid, living in the Mojave Desert, I used scramble up on various peaks to roll boulders down the mountain... Now, I try to put myself in the place of the rock who might say to me, "Dear Sir, please do not cast me down the mountain. It has taken so many millennia for me to attain this high place, and I would very much like to stay here a while." Of course there is nothing in our experience that tells us rocks would have any hopes, but we can still consider the merits of our actions as though rocks and other inanimate objects have the same sort of feelings we have.
I cannot tell the unempathetic guy that I have any notion of how a rock might really feel in fact rocks probably dont feel or hope for anything still, I try to imagine it and then use that to consider the merits of my actions. Is there something inherently bad about using such an approach? I dont think so I feel like doing this gives me a greater appreciation and respect for everything. So whether or not this unempathetic guy has the capacity to understand someone like me, I think it is more accurate to say he is unwilling to try.
Disdain for empathy is spreading through our society. Our ideas and desires are hardening... many of us have become unwilling to try unwilling to try understanding those who are different.
Tags
Who is online
103 visitors
[Coming across a snail creeping through Mals garden, Mal stops and ponders what this snail might be hoping for Mal gingerly picks up the snail holding it very gently in his teeth carries it off to another area far from his garden carefully sets it down]
There you go little fella I think there are some very tasty things to eat over here I hope you have a really nice supper.
[Mal wanders back to his garden]
Until you are somehow responsible for taking care of "the other" [either financially or physically ] I don't think it is real empathy .
I disagree Petey, you don't have to have a dog in the fight so to speak to feel empathy for the combatants.
The Golden Rule. Treating others as we want to be treated. ...What goes around, comes around.
EMPATHY:
1. the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.
2. the imaginative ascribing to an object, as a natural object or work of art, feelings or attitudes present in oneself: By means of empathy, a great painting becomes a mirror of the self.
I think you've put your finger on the crux of the issue, Mal... 'willingness'. As the definition states, empathy involves an 'identification' with the 'other'--- whether that other is person, animal, or an artifact in nature. In essence, empathy has to do with a willingness to change perspective, to at least attempt to look at something or someone from another POV. Apparently for some folks, that 'shift' in attitude, feeling or perspective is simply too alien, or too threatening, or something. There is, after all, a risk involved in the effort at empathy... a risk of loss of certitude, maybe a loss of self-containment or self-righteousness or self-satisfaction.
It may be that as our society becomes more complex & more uncertain, that some folks feel an increasing need for 'preservation' of self, an increasing need for self-protection. It that's the case, it would certainly seem to entail a pressure to be less willing to risk stepping outside the personal 'comfort zone', unwillingness to even momentarily risk another chipping away of 'self' by considering things from another point of view.
Sadly, it appears that at least for some folks, 'empathy' and/or 'compassion' are becoming luxuries they believe they simply can't afford...
Feelings and words are cheap . Actions and monetary support is not .
I'm liking Mal's "unwilling to try," because something is motivating their negative attitude, and loss of: " self-containment or self-righteousness or self-satisfaction" could certainly be the motivations. I'm also wondering if it's a 'value' of self as in narcissism - if the other person isn't identical in status, education, achievements, career, etc. - then the negative person not only views the other as a second class citizen, but treats them that way as well.
Petey,
You had empathy when you made the decision to take in a little kitten. No one made you give him a home, but something inside of you felt something for the little guy. So your initial reaction was empathy.
Very well said Swami!
Two good points Chloe
So true, BF.
Wonderful article Mal!
I guess this is really hitting home with me, since my nephew has aspergers. I have seen the misery his classmates have brought him. He has struggled to understand their motivation. He just doesn't get it. And while children with Aspergers might have a problem with empathy, he doesn't but also can't comprehend how people don't feel the way he does. That everyone should be nice to each other. So instead of lashing out at them, he mentally beats himself up. It is heart breaking to watch.
It easy to be hard and it seems that it just gets easier. Maybe in an effort to build our children's self esteem, we forgot to teach them that it shouldn't come at the expense of another. Now we have a pile of narcissists. How sad.
Hi Perrie! No tracking! Glad I stopped by here.
'Ain't that the truth!!'
Yes, I see this, too. Empathy is considered to be a weakness, not a strength. Personally, I like the concept of a rock having "feelings". At least, to me, it is a part of the universe, and whether or not it someday rolls down on its own is a part of the natural order of things. It will roll down, in its own time. On its endless journey to the sea... Besides, have you noticed that some people like to be destructive, simply to be destructive? The mess they leave behind is, in and of itself, a means to an end. Destroying something makes them feel powerful, somehow.
We are so silly, we humans. We think we know it all...
Good to see you, dear Mal. I've missed you!
Taking in a kitten was just such an action . If all I had was empty "empathy" I would have clucked soothing words like "poor kitty" but then closed the door on him .
Hi Perrie, I don't know a lot about aspergers other than the clinical information. May I ask, what is it he does that causes his peers to make fun of him? He beats himself up by believing them and verbally puts himself down?
You once relayed your own experience with that (in a public thread -so I'm comfortable bringing this up
- Yes...! They seem to get pleasure from it. I haven't experienced that in real life, but have heard the stories. It's hard to understand the motivation behind that. (Were you meaning that or something else?)
Mal,
Back when I was in junior high, with all the cliques, it wasn't a behavioral thing that created them, but the superficial (money, clothes) and physical values, and/or the areas people were from - staying with the friends they had from elementary. What kind of behaviors did you see that made a difference?
I think the term and the phenomenon referred to as "empathy" implies something spontaneous rather than decisive, indifferent or disdainful. One is empathetic because he or she can relate to an experience of another individual because of having had a similar experience.
Consequently, I'm not sure I accept the premise of "disdain for empathy" rather, I would deem that a conscious rejection of feeling "sympathy" that because of a character flaw predicated on selfishness, greed, bitterness, blinding anger or hatred.
Good discussion, Mal.
Hmmm... It sounds to me like you are saying people, at least some people, who tout the merits of empathy aredisingenuous. Is that what you are trying to say, Petey???
I agree that actions speak louder than words. But I am not trying to suggest that any particular action, or for that matter any action whatsoever, is the correct and proper outcome from an effort to empathize... only that empathizing offers us an opportunity to gather more information... As always, with or without the extra information empathy might give us, it is up to us to choose the actions we will take based on the information we have at hand.
Good to see you, Swamijim... It is so nice to know that, even if it is a long time in between, that our paths will cross from time to time...
You have touched on something really important here... Some people are conflating empathy and compassion... I see them as two different things... To be perfectly honest, it is my hope that a measure of compassion will result from efforts to empathize... but I don't believe that will necessarily be the result.
Hi Perrie,
I miss you!!! It's my own fault... damn it!!! But just as I said to Swamijim, even if it is a long time in between, it is so nice to know our paths will keep coming back together.
I understand how hard it must be for your nephew, and how sad it must be for you to watch. As I said in the article, I had some of that myself as a kid, so I do empathize. I think this sort of bad behavior continues right on into adulthood... it is usually more subtle, but it's still there.
Good to see you too, Dowser. It is so nice to connect with old friends.
Me too! As I said, "... itgives me a greater appreciation and respect for everything." There is something inherently appealing for me about appreciating everything.
That's it, Dowser! It is especially heartbreaking when it is someone's self-esteem that gets destroyed.
It was all those things you mentioned, Chloe. But even worse was ostracizing kids who were a little different, as Perrie mentioned with her Nephew. There were a few developmentally delayed kids when I went to school, some people we just downright cruel to them. It was a broad spectrum of reasons that inspired bad behavior, but as Dowser said, "Destroying something makes them feel powerful, somehow."
Thanks AMac!
I agree, that we most commonly experience empathy spontaneously... perhaps the intentional thing I am taking about should have a different word to label it, but empathy works for me.
One of the ways I have experienced the intentional empathy I talk about was in my discussions with righties. As a big proponent of compromise, I figure it would be very useful to me if I can sort of put myself in their shoes... because it will help me find the places where we have common ground... Or at least somewhat common.
I see sympathy as feeling sorry and a sense ofcompassionfor another... I see empathy as somethingcompletedifferent... just understanding the view point or the motivation for the other... sympathy orcompassionmay be theresultof the understanding that empathy gives us, but they really are two different things.
I have absolutely no "sympathy" whatsoever for rightie efforts to cut social safety nets, or to destroy unions, and other rightie causes... but if I put myself in their shoes (by TRYING to empathize) I may be betterequippedto deal with them.
I think some people resist empathy because they fear it will give them a sense ofcompassionthat they are determined not to have. I prefer to walk in the other guys shoes for a while... If I gain a sense ofcompassionfor his situation, well then that is something I want to know about... if I don't then at least I have a better sense of what makes him tick.
I want to add something I picked up while reading some of the other comments in this thread...
It sounds to me like you are conflating empathy with compassion. I think I made it clear that in hoping others would empathize with me I was also hoping that would inspire some compassion. But I don't think that is an automatic outcome.
I've thought about that before, too AMac. I think we're all talking about two different things, trying to make them seem like one when they are not. Just my thoughts. Those are emotions that you mentioned rather than character traits, as I see it. I think a person can have an unselfish general attitude/approach to life re their family, but because they aren't handing over three fourths of their paycheck to the government, doesn't mean they are all of a sudden flawed in some way. I don't think compassion -overall- is a genetic trait, could be an epi-mark, maybe, but I don't think it's part of our DNA. I think it's environmentally caused - experience and surroundings -- everyone's experiences are diferent. The societal narcissism/ego thing is part of the 'mirror' image for those caught up in it. They only want to help or be part of that network..i.e.. I live in a large neighborhood with diverse personal economics (similar to Mal
and those high-paid docs and Execs stay with their own, so to speak, they aren't 'friends' with the people across the street - friendly, yes - but not socially interactive. Makes sense...people not only want to be together due to status, but for all of the other accompanying reasons - they help each other - not just anyone because that's who their friends are. They can be compassionate in the same way an unfortunate person can be.
Mal prepares to leave a comment...
...accidentally clicks the "Message" button instead of the "Reply" button...
ARGH!!!!! Bite... tear... chomp... shred...
Okaaaaay... That should take care of it...
[ Mal struts off... ]
You are a very wise fish, Badfish!
Nice comment, John!
One can if he/she has made similar bad choices and recognizes that those choices constituted the proverbial/metaphorical "making your bed and having to sleep in it".
Empathy requires a common experience and between the one feeling empathy and the one for which it is felt.
Sympathy is a more generic emotion, more an understanding THAT someone suffers for a particular reason(s) without the sympathizer necessarily having lived through similar "reasons".
A theory in philosophy that your own existence is the only thing that is real or that can be known.
To a degree, that is probably true. I have learned throughdialecticaltherapy, that each individual has their own truths and that even though two people might hold different truths, they can be both true, because it is how our minds filters the experiences we encounter.
But I have also learned that we can train ourselves to try and see another's truth.
I don't think we can have one without the other, but as suggested, it all depends on the circumstances, if we will feel anything at all.
Hi Chloe,
With aspergers, children have a hard time picking up on social cues. Most aspies, as they are affectionately called, are withdrawn, but want friendship, but with my nephew, he has the opposite. He is overly friendly and affectionate. He violates personal space and can be a bit loud when he gets excited about things. But he is a sweet boy. Most of his classmates view him as just weird, and have told him so to his face. This year has been particularly hard, since he just entered his teens.
Hi Mal! [Perrie Waves from NY],
I miss you, too! And you did show me compassion on the vine, when you took me under your wing. But I am glad you are here today and that you are getting such a good response to this piece.
I know that you do understand what my nephew is going through, and I agree that this kind of bad behavior goes on into adulthood. There is an old expression that a long term study called "7 Up" prove. Show me the child at 7 and I will show you the adult. It's not that a person can't change... it's just most don't make the attempt.
Yes, empathy means that compassion is raised because we have experienced the same 'cause.' When the same reaction is caused by something different than we have experienced, we have something to measure. It's the measurement that causes different levels of compassion, not the action alone.
I think solipsism aligns with autism, but is more concerned with self.
I agree with that, and that explains how 'self' becomes the motivator - and explains why the autistic individual isn't aware of outside of their limitations. The solipsist is aware, but will reject any awarenesses, if they don't support self-interest.
"Because, of course, real knowledge means real truth. From there, one and only one RIGHT, and only one approach, all else being wrong, and that, right down to definitions."
There is a presupposition to that idea, namely that "reality" is a single-tiered entity with no possible parallel configurations/universes.
Two people in the same room, the temperature constant and uniform -- on person is comfortable, one a bit warm, the third a little chilly. Is perception then reality? The temperature is uniform but the "realities" different.
The Yaqui Indians believed in "separate realities," while philosophers like Alan Watts believed there is just one and that one being "an insecure place."
Then there was Descartes who mused "I think therefore I am."
Einstein saw his existence as being a kind of trip on a tram. His Relativity Theory postulated what reality might be like at the speed of light -- to the point where he could look bck in time ans see himself being born!
I would say, we don't know.
But awareness of this might help to improve the process.
Robert,
I totally agree. That is why I talked about individual truths. Just recently I witness a terrible car accident. So did 3 other people. We all had different versions of the event. To all of us, we were telling our truths. And then there is the actual event, which is another truth.. or the ultimate truth, but none of us were telling anything less than our truths.
Yes, the mind is everything... but most people don't spend much time on self actualization or introspection. More often, the mind is only used to gather information and other input from external factors.
So ... you're suggesting that giving the unfortunate false hopes is acceptable ... so that you can gather intel ?
Possibly for the same reason you failed to respond specifically to the very specific points I made (including their authors and the fact that they represent distinct generations of philosophical thought), and instead you went on to the personal cheap shot.
As for
Not necessarily so again;
Three people in the same room, the temperature constant and uniform -- one person is comfortable, one a bit warm, the third a little chilly. Is perception then reality? The temperature is uniform but the "realities" different.
Perceptions can vary even when there is just one, empirically determined truth. If the temperature in a room is 72 degrees F, corroborated by a number of measuring devices, then the temperature is 72 degrees F -- that would be the truth.
But the perceptions of the three individuals although different, are, for each of them "RIGHT." If we're discussing philosophically, then distinctions between what is right and what is true must be clarified; philosophically, they are not always synonymous.
What is deemed "Right" may also be "true," but philosophically, "right" is subjective, "truth" is objective and empirically demonstrable.
Why do you see that comment as a cheap shot, Amac?
It may not be one; but given your track record where you and I are concerned, it's somewhat typical. And it directly followed my comment.
Had it been written thus
But I will apologize and accept that you were not referencing me in the way you so often do.
I accept your question as rhetoric and I apologize Robert G.
Glad to hear from you again, Mal-- you're a shaggy mutt, but I've missed you...
Yeah, empathy and compassion are two different things, but interconnected I think. I'd hazard that (as per the definition I noted) 'empathy' is a (possibly) more intellectual or thought-based response, while 'compassion' seems a more visceral or emotional component. And no, empathy doesn't necessarily result in compassion--- 'willingness' to consider another perspective or POV won't thereby being about a concern or shared feeling for the 'other's situation-- as a couple of the comments above clearly demonstrate...
Mal,
I think you're on to something.. "Is there something inherently bad about using such an approach? I dont think so" It's part of the whole. That is something.
For the record...
I think solipsism is an interesting topic, I've written articles that go down that road... But in my view, as the author of this article, solipsismhas little or nothing to do with the topic of this article... AND, I have no interest in finding out why anyone might thinksolipsism is relevant to this article. I would appreciate it if people who want to post comments on this article keep there comments on-topic! One way to ensure that your comments are on-topic is to quote portions of the article and address those quotes specifically.
Thanks,
Mal
Robert postulated,
Since you apparently can't accept my apology in bold (or any other font variation), as a gesture of GOOD WILL, I shall consider apologizing for offering one in the first place and possibly rescinding it at some point.
Regarding,
Only to those on the receiving end who ultimately cannot accept them, as apologies tend to exacerbate their "imposter syndrome"-precipitated insecurities and sense of being unworthy.
Indeed; trying to be rational with the irrational is often futile even if/when the irrational party is likely guilty as charged (the charge supported by a "paper trail" documenting the party's multiple infractions perpetrated against many) -- Vis-a-via the following CHEAP SHOT from the irrational party himself
APOLOGY WITHDRAWN.
FYI: A solipsist (by definition) could not, thus would not recognize the existence of anyone beyond himself let alone moderate anyone/anything, be it an annoying antagonist or even just a regular person.
No worries, Fish of Wisdom!
An EXCELLENT point, Hal!!! And a very difficult thing to resolve...
Here is my attempt...
Life consumes life... that is part of the natural order of things... Indeed I consume things that were once living... If I move the snail, I saved one thing (which I happen to want to eat myself) and put others in peril... Because I have introduced this change, in part to serve my own interests, does that mean I have no empathy for the things to which I have introduced peril they might not otherwise have seen??? No... Having empathy for things does not necessarily mean we change our actions... That is the thing many people reading this article are assuming... or rather they are assuming that if they empathize with someone they will inevitably need to change their actions... But that is not what I amsuggesting... The title describes empathy as "an informative experience"... the information we gain throughempathyis only one part of all the information that may be available... We use ALL the information we have gathered as the basis for deciding what we will do.
Thanks for asking that Hal!!! That brought out a very interesting element of this topic.
Actually, Mal, I am not unwilling to try. it's just that I cannot comprehend a person NOT wanting to be able to defend themselves. I can sympathize with a person who does not support something I support. But empathy requires one to put himself in the shoes of another. I can put myself in the shoes of a gay man in love who wishes to marry his man, because gay has nothing to do with it, it's about love. That is empathy. I canput myself in the shoes ofa person who fears firearms in general. because I, like anyone else, have an irrational fear of my own. That, too, is empathy. But I cannot put myself in the shoes of a person who so fears his fellow man's temperament that I fear being around armed citizens. I can sympathize with him, because I feel bad for a person who lives in fear. But I cannot empathize with him, because I cannot comprehend being in so much fear that I have to say to another "I cannot interact with you unless you have been rendered harmless." I can feel bad for that person, but I cannot put myself in his shoes.
I welcome my armed fellow citizens, knowing that if, whatever supreme being you believe in forbid, a bad man should appear, intent on killing or injuring, that citizen will help, as I will. I carry a gun, pretty much everywhere, at the request of my wife. With that gun comes a burden. To aid your fellow man. I carry my gun, saying to you (even if you do not know I have it) "I shall defend you as I would my family. IF the unthinkable occurs, it will only be over my body."
I do not disdain empathy. But I cannot it under certain circumstances. To be honest, I doubt YOU can empathize with ME on this topic. I do not think you wouldn't try, I just do not think you can find the mindset of me any more than I can find yours.
As to the rocks, well, I don't toss them because I empathize with the unseen hiker below me- I can imagine what it would feel like to have the rock miss me by inches (because it's happened to me!) and I can imagine the pain if it DIDN'T miss me, because I've been hurt by falling construction debris. Besides, I LIKE rocks on mountains.
Considering that crime DOES occur everywhere, even when just going to a movie, there's nothing irrational about being prepared for it. The irrational fear I was referring to is my fear of heights. Since this is a friend's article, not mine or yours, I will simply refrain from responding to any more of your crap.
That's part of it. Sympathy is the bridge. Empathy follows the one unenabled.
What an extremely stupid abrasive comment . Very few people don't have a fear of heights . You have lots of fears including the fear of dealing with violent strangers . That's because you have no way at all of dealing with that except to try to avoid them .
Sure I have . But sarcasm needs to rely on logic . Yours doesn't . That's why I accurately described it as :
Your ability to laugh at your own illogic is hopeful ...
Hi Neale,
I'm glad you found this.
After reading this comment, I would say that not only are you willing to try empathizing with me, you succeeded. After hearing what you and some others have said, I realize that what is probably going on is that we don't all have the same understanding of what it means to empathize.
You say, "I canput myself in the shoes ofa person who fears firearms in general. because I, like anyone else, have an irrational fear of my own." In my view that is empathy... In fact, as far as I am concerned I would say that you are empathizing if you... recognize that someone has a fear of firearms... period... you don't need to have your own similar fear. You may not be able to relate to that person's actual reaction, but you did make an effort to understand the basis of the reaction and succeeded in understanding that the basis was fear.
Looking back at the original comment I left on your article I see that I failed to explain something very important... at least I think I didn't do that, cuz I can't find it... So I'll add that here... You say...
You need to know that I do not want to live where I might need to use deadly force to defend myself. The notion that the place I live is so dangerous that I need to be prepared for that possibility is so awful for me that I would likely move to a less dangerous place before I would prepare myself to undertake that sort of defense. Living with that notion day in and day out would ruin my experience of life. I said something on an article about guns here on NT quite a while back that voices this feeling... I'll have to paraphrase it...
I would rather diefrom a violent assault than live with the fear that such an assault was likely at all.
Again, that is a very approximate paraphrase, but it conveys what I was saying at the time. The person I said this to immediately suggested my statement wasdisingenuous. I wonder how he could tell??? I can see that this person clearly had noempathyfor what I had said. In fact it seemed like this person felt it was fundamentallyimpossible to feel the way I said I felt.
Except for soldiers and law enforcement professionals who have been in real life and death situations, it is very difficult for any of us to say what what we would TRULY do if we were in a life and death situation. Without having had such an experience and being as honest as I possibly can with myself, I have very grave doubts that I would be willing to use a gun even if I was in a situation where my life was threatened and a gun was readily available to me to use.
For the record, I did once have the experience of having a handgun place squarely against my forehead while someone threatened my life. Obviously, I survived the incident... I DID NOT conclude that I should get a gun to defend myself... I DID conclude that I needed to stop selling pot.
So... I have done my best to explain myself... I am sure from what you have already said, that you react differently to the dangers you see in your world than I do to the dangers I see in my world. Even so, perhaps you understand me and what makes ME tick better than you did... If so, it doesn't mean you "tick" the same way I do, or that you are now adopting my ideas and feelings as your own... It only means you understand ME in some measure. If so, I would say that kind of understand alone is what I call empathy. Perhaps my understanding of empathy is erroneous, I don't know... But whatever it is that I am calling empathy is a very useful and informative tool for me.
Well, whether you FEEL you are in danger of criminal attack or not (and I do not consider that danger imminent, or I'd move immediately), everyone living in the USA is in danger of such an attack at some point in their lives. If 6 yr olds at school are, if families at the movies are, anyone can be. I think people here misunderstand being prepared,or confuse being prepared with being afraid. I have a fire extinguisher by the stove, and by the fireplace. This is prepared. I am not afraid, every moment, of there being a fire, but I AM prepared in case it happens. I have car insurance, and I pay extra for collision insurance even though the truck is paid in full. This is being prepared. I do not EXPECT to have an accident, but if I do, I'm prepared. I keep a first aid kit on the truck, (next to another fire extinguisher, I might add) NOT because I expect to be hurt, but because I'm prepared in case me or mine (OR a passing stranger) might need medical aid.
As to looking down a pistol barrel, well that might change your outlook on selling pot. Me, it would make me want to fight back. But hey, to each his own.
Comment removed for "CoC Violation "Personal Attack" "MiG"
No need to "spend a lot of angst worrying", but it can't hurt to understand what make the salesman tick... And just because I see that the dealer desperately needs to make a sale, it doesn't mean that my own needs won't be a higher priority for me.
Dear Friend Malamute Man: Great article. It seems to have struck a chord with the site readership.
Hardly a surprise. Its a fascinating topic. Well worth the effort to think about it, and comment.
Thanks for posting it.
Peace and Abundant Blessings.
Enoch.
I have the care insurance, etc too... If I saw a fire in my house, I would grab the fire extinguisher right away...Very good analogies!!!! And your point about the six year olds make the point that danger is far more pervasive than most of us want to believe it is.
But what about this...
and this...
EVEN if it actually was likely.
"To each his own" is absolutely right!!! I feel like I empathize with "your own" because I understand "your own" even though "my own" may be different than "your own."
A true pacifist (as you seem to be) is to be treasured. It would be wonderful if everybody felt that way. But it isn't going to happen anytime soon. I respect a man who refuses to fight.............. But I will never comprehend the mentality that can do that. I have 4 kids. I will cheerfully stand in front of them and take a bullet for them. However, being me, I will MORE cheerfully fight and die for them. If I remember correctly, you have at least one child, so I'm sure you can understand that. SINCE I intend to die surrounded by a bunch of grandkids (none of whom have been born yet) I will most definitely not go gently into that good night, whether it be to a disease or a criminal, I will go down fighting. But I have wandered off topic to a point. Thanks for directing me here. I've enjoyed our back and forth, despite the fact we will never agree on the one topic.
I too have enjoyed it, Neale! Thank you for your patience, thoughtful comments... and for the inspiration.
BTW, I have no progeny. If I try to imagine how I might feel orwhat I might do if someone willfully injured or killed one of my beloved dogs... then I think I get a sense of how you feel.
Thank You Enoch, my friend!
Peace,
Mal
Mal,
Empathy is so important, yet I think it should take a back seat at times. Why do we turn our heads and look a way at things that could easily involve us if the tables turned? Things happen. If asking for help, why would we lack sympathy and walk away? I don't think I could ever do that. The only power is within ourselves to help. If we don't, what other recourse for them is there?
Good questions, Chloe!
Keep an eye out for my sequel to this article... I say some things in it that have some bearing on the questions you posed.
Okay... Thank you for letting me know. I'll watch it. I love articles like this as I've told you. ..things that make a difference.
You do realize it is a volunteer position right ? Here's some food for thought . Maybe if you didn't try so hard to anatgonize at every opportunity they might ease off on you . Of course it couldn't be that simple ... hahaha ...
And even if it was, it would be beyond his ability.........
Excellent article Mal.
I disagree 100% that cat's do not have the ability to empathize.
True, Mal. We at least showed empathy, and if we weren't looking for a car, we wouldn't have been there, so it might boil down to who we buy a car from rather than the used car itself?