Sitting Together as Family

By:  Enoch  •  6 months ago  •  57 comments

Sitting Together as Family
"An Ounce of Prevention is Worth a Pound of Cure"

Leave a comment to auto-join group Chaplain's Corner

Chaplain's Corner

The Festival of Lights Past in November 2019 saw a tragic event.

In Monsey, NY (Rockland County) a troubled soul attacked a pair of sites where members of the Chassidic sect(s) part of the Ultra Orthodox Jewish community live and worship.

Wielding a machete, in his second attempt to cause harm he sliced seven people who had come to "Bench Channukah Licht". These pious people were lighting candles on the Channukah Menorah. While so doing they recited blessings, and sang hymns. 

Law enforcement and the judicial system will handle the person arrested for this attack.

As happens with two distinct cultures, there are some in both who seek out good relations.

Others who want to stir up the pot of discord.

Most live day to day trying to address the practical side of life. Get some enjoyment out of existence. Build a better lifer for generation(s) of family and community.

"An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure". 

This was a hate crime. Those are regrettably on the rise.

The Federal, State, County and Municipal governments all want to take steps pro-actively to improve inter-group relations to reduce hate crimes.

When such occur anyway, they want a reserve of good will to keep things from getting out of control.

Government scanned data bases of various relevant licenses, permits, registrations and certifications to identify people trained and with a good track record of bringing together communities with some discord.

At the Federal level, I have five life time certifications with a cabinet agency two of which are on-point here.

IS-00100.b (C&C - Command and Control) and IS-00360 (Mass Casualty Incidents in Schools, Higher Education and Houses of Worship).

I also have State credentials in aligned fields.

No, seven people being attacked with a machete, only one of whom lost his life because of the attack is not a mass casualty situation.

When only one, tragically was murdered does not even mean the perpetrator is a serial killer. That happens when the victim total becomes plural.

The focus here it to attempt to prevent things from getting to that point.

Also when such foul events rear their ugly head when good will exists between communities it acts to absorb shock and prevent further violence.

Among those on the list, it turns out I was the only one acceptable to both communities in this role.

My three forms of ordination, and Doctor of Divinity degree all come from an Ultra Orthodox Chassidic Yeshiva (Seminary) in Rockland County. 

As well, I have trained in Seminary's, Universities, and private Institute programs those studying to become and already in Chaplaincy for degrees and life long learning continuing education. 

I serve as a consultant on the most difficult of cases, and often am called in to handle situations where local professionals are having no or not enough success delivering results in Pastoral Care.

Among the communities represented in students are the African-American and Chassidic branches of the Ultra Orthodox communities in Greater Rockland County.

When they know you and your trust is earned by helping them that makes you acceptable to all in this role.

I will be off-line weekdays for a half year or so doing this, as well as some other non-local things.

By summer I hope to be home and more active at Chaplains Corner. 

There is an ancient Hebrew Hymn.

"Henie mah tov, U' mah nayim. Shevet Achim Gam Yachad".  

"Behold, how good and how nice it is to sit together as brothers".

As an organization theme song, I modified the wording somewhat to be more inclusive of all involved, including genders. 

"Henei mah tov, U'mah nayim. Shevit Mishpacha gam yachad".

"Behold, how good and how nice it is to sit together as family".

All involved like this new wording.

What ideas, techniques and experiences have you to share on how to set up institutions and people to bring together communities in need of good will and fellowship?

The value of getting on with one another prevents tragedy.

When it happens anyway, the closeness buffers the worst, and helps bring out the best in us.

Please do follow the site COC, TOS; and the Four B's here.

Be On-Point.

Be Respectful.

Be Positive.

Or Be Gone!

We look forward to your contributions. 

Better together in harmony than opposed generating tragedy.

Peace and Abundant Blessings Always.



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1  author  Enoch    6 months ago

What experiences, ideas and techniques can you suggest to bring together communities with relations in need of improvement? 

Please follow the site CoC, TOS; and the Four B's.

Be On-Point.

Be Respectful.

Be Positive.

or Be Gone!

Anything you can add which will prevent tragedy, and reduce it going out of control is good for all parts and members of the human family.

Peace and Abundant Blessings Always.


1.1  r.t..b...  replied to  Enoch @1    6 months ago
to bring together communities

Teach your children well, or more precisely, learn from our children.

Go to any playground and observe for a that do not know each other but simply sharing the experience, without rancor, without hate, and without expectation of anything other than relishing in the freedom and joy found in this singular moment. Not sure when and how we lose that innocence, but it is something to which we should all strive. 

1.1.1  Kathleen  replied to  r.t..b... @1.1    6 months ago

I was watching the little rascals yesterday and they all got along so nice. No hatred there. Kids can be cruel at times, but they can also be blind to other things too.

1.1.2  r.t..b...  replied to  Kathleen @1.1.1    6 months ago
Kids can be cruel at times

As one who consistently suffered at the hands of those who hurled cruel comments, my grandfather's admonition that "whatever they may say is their weakness, not yours" still rings true. Stay strong and stay true...always. 

1.1.3  Kathleen  replied to  r.t..b... @1.1.2    6 months ago

That is great advice. Only a insecure person feels the need to put down others. Unfortunately, a few in my family gloat over another persons misfortune. 

1.1.4  r.t..b...  replied to  Kathleen @1.1.3    6 months ago
Unfortunately, a few in my family gloat over another persons misfortune. 

We may be related.

Enjoy your day, Kathleen, for it is yours alone...and don't let anyone, anytime, anywhere bring you down to their level. Peace.

1.1.5  Kathleen  replied to  r.t..b... @1.1.4    6 months ago

😊 Thank you rtb, and you have a nice day too.

1.1.6  author  Enoch  replied to  r.t..b... @1.1    6 months ago

Dear Friend r.t..b...: Great wisdom shown.

"Out of the mouths of babes".

When I played little league baseball (We had to cross a parted sea to get to the field) our double play team was as follows.

Shortstop (African-American), Second base (Asian-American) and first base (Me, Orthodox Jewish-American).

We could not have cared less. 

We led the league in turning double plays.

We also were league leaders in eating Clark bars.

Kids care about having fun with one another.

The rest is all just vegetables you have to munch to get to dessert!

Well presented dear friend.

We need the innocent sagacity of the young to over ride the jadedness of age and money corruption.

We are indebted.




1.1.7  author  Enoch  replied to  Kathleen @1.1.1    6 months ago

Dear Friend Kathleen: Kids can be cruel.

That goes with being young, immature and ego-centric. 

They can also be immune to prejudice, bigotry and discrimination.

They just want to live in the moment and play.

They do not hold grudges.

One minute they can fight.

The next play nicely.

Unlike parents, who can not speak to one another over a fight between their kids for years after wards.

We should learn from them in two ways.

Observe how to get along well.

Also how to climb out of our shells and care for one another over our own immediate needs.

We must master both to live life most fully.

Great point Kathleen.




1.1.8  author  Enoch  replied to  r.t..b... @1.1.2    6 months ago

Dear Friend r.b..t...: Your Grand Dad was indeed a wise person.

Even today his words ring true.

Thanks for sharing.


1.1.9  author  Enoch  replied to  Kathleen @1.1.3    6 months ago

Dear Friend Kathleen: Correct.

Some people are like the denominator of a fraction.

The bigger they try to make themselves, the smaller they really are.

Another gem.



1.1.10  author  Enoch  replied to  r.t..b... @1.1.4    6 months ago

Dear Friend r.b..t...: Agreed.

Don't let them bring you down.

Instead, lift them up.


1.1.11  r.t..b...  replied to  Enoch @1.1.10    6 months ago
Instead, lift them up.

I think you may have answered your original question, Enoch. Though methinks you knew it all along and posed it it hopes of bringing on a thoughtful always. Best of luck in your new endeavors... I cannot imagine a better fit. Peace, my brother.

1.1.12  author  Enoch  replied to  r.t..b... @1.1.11    6 months ago

Dear Brother r.t..b...: Shalom U'vracha Gam Lecha.

Peace and blessings to you as well.

This discussion thread was a good one.

Take the high road, and others will follow.

Hopefully, as happened here they will surpass me.

Good. Just had my semi annual with my primary care physician.

She told me I now have iron deficiency anemia.

Just had a hammer and nail sandwich for lunch.

Will let you know.



Raven Wing
1.1.13  Raven Wing  replied to  r.t..b... @1.1.2    6 months ago
As one who consistently suffered at the hands of those who hurled cruel comments, my grandfather's admonition that "whatever they may say is their weakness, not yours" still rings true. Stay strong and stay true...always. 

As a young Native American growing up in the Southern states, I, like you, suffered at the hands of those whose prejudice and hate of those of different ethnic heritage, and Native Americans were among those who were subject to being treated with disdain and physical abuse.

I was often beaten by a group who would follow me on my way home from school and attack me for no other reason that I am of Cherokee heritage. They would also hurl hateful and denigrating insults at school which no one did anything about. 

Rather than swear revenge and feel less worthy as a human being, which was the obvious intention of those who obviously needed to feel superior to me and more entitled to life, I stood tall, and felt pride in who I am and my Cherokee heritage. I never let them make me ashamed of my heritage, or feel unworthy of my life. Their problems were theirs and I refused to let them mine as well.

Even as an adult I am still shunned by some who obviously feel prejudice toward Native Americans, but, I just smile, and feel pride in who I am. Even though some people feel superior to some others, it really shows how inferior they truly feel.

1.1.14  Ender  replied to  Raven Wing @1.1.13    6 months ago

I always think that those that lash out are usually insecure about those things in their own life.

1.1.15  author  Enoch  replied to  Ender @1.1.14    6 months ago

Dear Friend Ender: So agrees.

Great observation.



Raven Wing
1.1.16  Raven Wing  replied to  Ender @1.1.14    6 months ago

I agree, Ender.  In a way it is similar to what some do here on NT to other Members. Their own inferiority or insecurity makes them feel the need to feel superior to those here they think might look down on them for some reason. Thus, they react by attacking and trying to demean or denigrate others in order to make themselves feel superior.

They have no sense of how obvious their behavior is to others, and they tend to lock up with others here who appear to have a similar ego issue, or who also attack others for perhaps other reasons, and whose motives are also very obvious even though they try hard to hide their true intentions.

I don't feel superior to anyone, but, I don't feel inferior to anyone either. I am just me, and I am proud of my heritage, and won't allow anyone to make me feel ashamed of it, or who I am. 

1.1.17  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @1.1.16    6 months ago

Dear Sister Raven Wing: Yours is a full complete mature and wisdom based heritage. 

Please continue to live and wear it well.

We are all so proud of you.


Raven Wing
1.1.18  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @1.1.17    6 months ago

Dear Brother Enoch,

Thank you for your very kind words. Regardless of our own ethnic heritage, the color of our skin, where we live or came from, the language we speak, religious beliefs, or no religious beliefs, we all belong to the same species....... humans beings. In spite of our many differences as human beings, we are all one. The blood in all of our veins runs the same 

When we all learn to accept that fact, and that to hate another is to also hate ourselves, perhaps we will be able to accept each other as true Brothers and Sisters in humanity and Harmony. 

2  XDm9mm    6 months ago
This was a hate crime.

Other than a loved one putting a spouse/partner out of his/her misery due to extreme pain and suffering, can anyone show me a 'love' crime?

I'm simply tired of all of the 'qualifiers' people use.   

Now, as to the ideas/techniques question.  The simplest one of all is as my late mother taught me.   Live and let live.   Put another way, "do unto others as you would have others do unto you" which is I believed paraphrased from Jesus sermon on the mount.

2.1  author  Enoch  replied to  XDm9mm @2    6 months ago

Dear Friend XDm9mm: Thanks for sharing.

There is a reason why hate crimes are in the law.

They may have the same result as a non-hate crime.

Intent helps define the crime and defend society by proportional punishment when committed. 

The original quote to which you refer first appeared in Jewish literature as follows:

"Do not do to others that which is hateful to you".

Live and let live.

What a more peaceful and productive world this would be if people only practiced that idea.

Thanks for the most constructive contribution.

We are grateful.



3  Kathleen    6 months ago

My dad would say, never judge from the outside, it’s what is in the heart that counts. Kindness is the number one word. 

3.1  r.t..b...  replied to  Kathleen @3    6 months ago
it’s what is in the heart that counts. Kindness is the number one word. 

Your father is correct, confirming the Occam's Razor postulation...the simplest answer is usually the correct answer. Not simple in implementation, but it starts with each individual interacting with another with kindness. Well said.

3.1.1  author  Enoch  replied to  r.t..b... @3.1    6 months ago

Dear Friend r.t..b...: Completely like your use of Occam's Razor here.

It all starts with kindness.

Simplicity makes it easier to implement.

Well done.



3.2  author  Enoch  replied to  Kathleen @3    6 months ago

Dear Friend Kathleen: Coved Rosh (Talmudic Hebrew concept of good intention) and Cavanah Tovah (Aramaic concept of good intention, see Chovoth Ha Levavoth) are both well established in the body of wisdom literature in my heritage. 

We agree with your dear Father totally.



3.2.1  CB   replied to  Enoch @3.2    6 months ago

Enoch, I am so appreciative that you extend your Jewish cultural attitudes and expressions throughout your articles and comments. It is helpful and subtle to softly inform and remind us that there is more to such a storied people as yours than mere pain and suffering. Through you (and by extension Mrs. E.) I can experience a difference-a virtual good. I want you to know that I have taken note of this about you from the start and its appreciation has not diminished in the least over these several years. Indeed, I am dimmed a little on those occasions when you a compelled to be away from NT.

In the hustle and bustle of daily activities, moments like these articles and your comments "abroad" have been an open opportunity for me in that I can greet, get caught up in, and even confront (without hostility) a Jewish perspective.

I applaud all your efforts. We can not even guesstimate the toil such patience and persistence puts on another person.

3.2.2  author  Enoch  replied to  CB @3.2.1    6 months ago

Dear Brother CB: I am most pleased to read this.

It would distress me to think for wall I learn and profit from your articles and post that our brotherhood is only one way.

Turns out it is not.


We are more than the sum of our parts.

The new decade of the 2020's will see some changes in my approach to time managment.

With time remaining, I want to do more training of Chaplains, and less Chaplaincy.

Let those who will succeed me be maximally best prepared to serve humanity in all its glorious diversity.

I am also shifting gears on reading in order to do more writing.

Building up the body of literature in several fields for those who come now and later to use will overtake the joy of learning for its own sake.

Sometimes you can't take it with you.

Best leave some for next in line(s).    

To that last point, let me know by private email you thoughts on some joint venture writing projects for Chaplains Corner. 

That I am not here forever doesn't mean Perrie and the site aren't.



3.2.3  CB   replied to  Enoch @3.2.2    6 months ago

I understand the call on, demands to, and needs of, one's spirit. You've done and are doing well. Thus you ought from time to time enjoy a 'return.'  Enoch! Happy New Year! In all that you say and do going forward! (Smile.)

3.2.4  author  Enoch  replied to  CB @3.2.3    6 months ago

Dear Brother CB: Likewise.

Times two.


4  CB     6 months ago
When they know you and your trust is earned by helping them that makes you acceptable to all in this role.

I don't know a handful of Jewish people. And, I am not quite sure why not. I get along well across most identity groups.

Just now, I typed something "alien" to be in my search engine: "Jewish cultural center (in my area)" and a Chabad "House" with a really decent website appears in my area. I know where this house is located. I have seen it. For me, it has been a non-descript named property with a large corner spot sitting on the border of my city and the next one over.

It is interesting to me that how much we see and don't see at the same time. We only talk about certain places in passing. May be this year I can inquire as to how friendly these people are in their own setting. The photos on the site of gatherings shows some cultural and ethnic diversity there. This could be exciting, even a little.

BTW Enoch I like your choice of picture above. It conveys much about being at ease with one another. I know of both men by their television, political, and religious identities. Good statement.

4.1  author  Enoch  replied to  CB @4    6 months ago

Dear Brother CB: Thanks.

You and I get along famously.

We are heads and tails of the same coin.

Mrs. E. and I always try to entertain people from walks of life other than our own.

As well, when you, others here an I co-author articles I seek out those whose views other than my own.

There are many ways to get to the same destination.

What path a person takes depends on where they start, and what they need and want to do and see along the way.

It's good to celebrate diversity.

It helps to get along with as many people as possible.

We grow when we stretch our horizons.

Super post.




4.1.1  CB   replied to  Enoch @4.1    6 months ago
It's good to celebrate diversity. It helps to get along with as many people as possible. We grow when we stretch our horizons.

Most true. I have sat in many homes of different peoples and ate their foods, observed their work ethics, their marriages, family life, and even down to how they deal with their laundry and pet problems. It establishes many a bond and many a relationship.

There are moments, we can look for them and clearly see them when we try, in cross-ethnic relationships of good pressures and hard stressesl, when we can come alongside of another person in their triumphs and in their dark places and let them see us for who we really are.

Through this methodology, I have learned that I am an "ambassador." Simply by being present in body, mind, and spirit when another outside of my own culture calls for joy or error.

Simply being there- not ducking the celebrations and not shirking the sorrows imprints, like glue, adults, the most difficult to adhere, on one another.

4.1.2  author  Enoch  replied to  CB @4.1.1    6 months ago

Dear Brother CB: Outstanding!

California is lucky to have you.

Anytime you want to trade in the Big Avocado for the Big Apple let me know.

Maybe bring some good weather with you.



Raven Wing
5  Raven Wing    6 months ago

Dear Brother Enoch,

Your work ahead will be taxing, but, done with the love of others who are deeply in need of the dedicated care that will help their Souls and Spirits heal. While the acts of hate will never forgotten, learning to be able to deal with the horror so that the victims can move ahead with their own lives, and perhaps be more aware of others who have, or unfortunately may, experience a similar act of hateful violence against them and others. 

While the body can perhaps be repaired or restored, it is the mental and emotional trauma that will forever linger on. If not dealt with in a way to help restore the feeling of being worthy, or belonging, and restored feelings of a deserving human being, there is little hope that the victims will be able to find their way back into the world of humanity. It is those like yourself who have the gift of the Creator to provide this very necessary care that can help save lives. Much like those who suffer the mental and emotional trauma of war, and without such much needed care find it impossible to feel life is worth living succumb to the act of suicide. 

While you may not realize the lives you help save, those who are able to restore their value of life and move on with their life will never forget, and neither will the Creator.  

5.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @5    6 months ago

Dear Sister Raven Wing: As my equal partner in Chaplains Corner we do the same sorts of things.

Each brings to the table what the other lacks.

Together no stopping us now.



Raven Wing
5.1.1  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @5.1    6 months ago


Perrie Halpern R.A.
6  Perrie Halpern R.A.    6 months ago

Dear Enoch,

First, being a little selfish, I will miss you during your absence. I know your work is important, but I do enjoy your wisdom and presence here. 

I think we show how to get along by example. When I was an inner city school teacher, I had a chance to teach tolerance to my students in both the classroom and in real life. As a teacher, my students saw the warmth fellow teachers of all races and creeds had for each other. They could talk to me openly about current issues that troubled them without being judged. They responded openly and well to this. 

The 90's were not such a good time in Crown Heights. I am sure you remember. But I saw this at a teachable moment and we would travel to the zoo and museum and I would make a point of talking to the locals along the way, and they usually responded very kindly. My students saw that I could relate to all kinds of people and took note. Sometimes, life can be the best classroom. 

There are times I miss teaching. I think back on those moments and realize that I got as much out of it as my students did. 

6.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @6    6 months ago

Dear Friend Perrie: The young look to us as role models.

This you did and do in various contexts so well.

Teachable moments.

So many, so much to give.

Well done, now and in future.

P&AB Always.


7  Kavika     6 months ago

Niijii I will miss you while you are away doing what you do best. 

The aftermath of such an attack does not leave one mind for decades if ever. 

I'm hopeful that your presence can facilitate an understanding and some goodwill between the groups.

7.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Kavika @7    6 months ago

Dear Brother Kavika: There are good people in both communities.

The value of being productive through people will make this work.

Good things happen when good people coordinate to achieve common goals and aspirations.

You and I shall be in touch by private email, I am sure.

We go back so many years our friendship has squatters rights.



7.1.1  Kavika   replied to  Enoch @7.1    6 months ago

I think that this song says it all niijii. Listen to the words. 

7.1.2  CB   replied to  Kavika @7.1.1    6 months ago
"Darkness can not drive out darkness. Only light can do that." - Dr. Martin Luther King

Power words when one internalizes them. Yes, we all just want a little more peace each day to reign over the hell.

Kavika! What a wonderful song. I had never heard it before. I have seen these consciousness project works across nations and countries, but this one drives its message deep.

Raven Wing
7.1.3  Raven Wing  replied to  Kavika @7.1.1    6 months ago

Great video, Kavika, and great wisdom as well. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.jrSmiley_13_smiley_image.gif

7.1.4  CB   replied to  Raven Wing @7.1.3    6 months ago

Indeed. It is the perfect start to the new year video! I almost teared up; because, the message from it is so honest!

7.1.5  CB   replied to  CB @7.1.2    6 months ago

Kavika! Sir, come to the head of the class, please!

We should be treated to a good quality song like this one, once a quarter or so.

7.1.6  CB   replied to  Raven Wing @7.1.3    6 months ago

Yes Raven, Kavika, Enoch, and All: At the end of the day when every thang is stripped away, it is just people that make all the other stuff what it is. Man, I wish the world, and governments, could keep that thought in the forefront of its daily activities!

7.1.7  author  Enoch  replied to  Kavika @7.1.1    6 months ago

Dear Brother Kavika: I so agree.

Beautiful words and thoughts.

Many thanks for sharing.



7.1.8  author  Enoch  replied to  CB @7.1.6    6 months ago

Dear Brother CB: Me too.



7.1.9  Al-316  replied to  Kavika @7.1.1    3 weeks ago

Thanks, Kavika. I have a new favorite song. lol

8  Ender    6 months ago

I can't think of a better person for the appointment.

Sadly I can't answer your question as I may be a little jaded.  Haha

I think most people don't mind differences and get along fairly well with others.

I also think there are some that are just full of hate. Will do what they can to cause harm to certain people or ways. Imo some people will never be reached, will never change their ways, at least inwardly.

The good news is, us regular folk far outnumber them.

8.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Ender @8    6 months ago

Dear Friend Ender: Many thanks for the kind words.

Most appreciated.

My strategy in this case is to identify unite and activate the good regular people in each set of communities. 

They are the bulk of us.

The trick is to set up institutes and win progress through them. 

It will happen.

It just takes time.

Sooner or later cream always rises to the top of the bottle.



It Is ME
9  It Is ME    6 months ago

"Sitting Together as Family"

Sitting and talking with family is a great thing.

Just an observation here jrSmiley_16_smiley_image.gif

If you look at the Pic used for the article.....the "One Guy" jrSmiley_97_smiley_image.gif is holding his cell phone.

"Cell Phones" aren't allowed in my home, when it's "Family Sit Down and talk Time", or "Dinner Time" either. jrSmiley_82_smiley_image.gif

9.1  author  Enoch  replied to  It Is ME @9    6 months ago

Dear Friend It Is ME: Good observation and comment.

Am also not a fan on cell phone when direct communication could occur.

Selected the pic to show a casual friendship spanning different races, cultures, religions etc. 

I had a photo with the electronic device.

Problem was it looks like a photo op. Too posed.

Its difficult to find just the right image at times.

I guess my goal here was to show a graphic of people sitting like and acting life family, as we are all the same human family.

Hope the New Year is treating you and yours well.



It Is ME
9.1.1  It Is ME  replied to  Enoch @9.1    6 months ago
Its difficult to find just the right image at times.

I totally AGREE on that !

"Electronics" causes more family problems than we know.

Someone should do a "study" on that. jrSmiley_18_smiley_image.gif

9.1.2  author  Enoch  replied to  It Is ME @9.1.1    3 months ago

Indeed the case. 


10  Kathleen    3 weeks ago

We need an article like this right now.

Lots of fighting going on. Maybe it's time to think about the purpose of life.


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