Booby Magazines Discovered In Mike Pence's Room, Haha JK It Was Classified Documents - Wonkette

  
Via:  John Russell  •  one week ago  •  11 comments

By:   Wonkette

Booby Magazines Discovered In Mike Pence's Room, Haha JK It Was Classified Documents - Wonkette
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National PoliticsEvan HurstJanuary 24, 2023 02:35 PMGiphy

We are guessing everybody who has ever served as president or vice president or official White House balloon animal clown is checking their house right now to make sure they don't have any classified shit.

Mike Pence's lawyers found about a dozen classified shits at his house in Carmel, Indiana, last week. Gave 'em to the FBI. CNN notes that Pence has been saying a whole bunch that he doesn't have any classified documents. Some things he's said in the recent past about taking classified documents:

  • "No, not to my knowledge."
  • "I did not."
  • "Well, there'd be no reason to have classified documents, particularly if they were in an unprotected area."

Guess he did. And guess new House Oversight Committee Chair James Comer might have been a wee bit wrong when he explained Mike Pence is no common evil Joe Biden because Joe Biden is a big common evil liar.

Not sure what they were. Maybe classified secrets for how to escape if you accidentally end up in a room alone with a woman who isn't your wife, whom you call "Mother,"

This comes as yet another batch of some more classified documents was discovered Friday at Joe Biden's Wilmington, Delaware, house. It was a 13-hour search, and the Bidens let them run free throughout the house. The Justice Department took six items.

Joe Biden and Mike Pence should be ashamed of both of theirselves.

Barack Obummer? Got any secret classified maps to storage facilities where they keep extra tan suits? Michelle? Bill? Hillary Emails Rodham? Jimmy and Rosalyn? Dick and Lynne? Al? Got any INCONVENIENT TRUTHS in your file cabinets? Tipper? Got a classified document about how to expose secret naughty lyrics if you play hip-hoppings backwards?

Cough them up, EVERYONE.

As with the Biden situation, Pence was the one who asked for the search, just to be extra certain. And as we said, he turned the shit over to the FBI, just as Biden has.

Does Mike Pence get a special counsel now, Uncle Merrick? Or are we going to wait to prematurely blow that load this time?

Lest we all get confused, yes it is a problem that every former high-ranking elected official who asks their lawyer to check their house for classified documents seems to end up finding some.

It is still a MUCH FUCKING BIGGER problem that Donald Trump clearly not only stole MANY MORE classified documents — far more sensitive secrets, it would appear — and then decided to hide and conceal them and obstruct efforts to get them back. It's still a MUCH FUCKING BIGGER problem that we cannot say with certainty that he has given everything back.

We also still don't really know what Trump's motive might have been here. Is this all because Trump is so stupid that he thinks any classified documents from the time he was president are his personal property? Or is it something more?

Sorry, but there's a big difference between that and finding out Joe Biden and Mike Pence had some briefing papers with classified markings in a file cabinet somewhere — or whatever they are — and the second they found out about it, they gave them back and fully cooperated.

That's right. Until we find out information that tells us different, we are proceeding under the assumption that what Biden and Pence did is in one box, and what Trump did is in one much more sinister box.

If we are to be proven wrong, we assume we will read it in an indictment.


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JohnRussell
Professor Principal
1  seeder  JohnRussell    one week ago

We now await word that Merrick Garland has appointed another special counsel to investigate Mike Pence. 

Can Mike Pompeo and Nikki Haley (both of whom dealt in classified documents during their service in the Trump administration) be far behind? 

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
1.1  Texan1211  replied to  JohnRussell @1    one week ago

Gee, maybe he'll appoint one for the Obama Administration officials who handled classified documents, too, after finding out that Biden (VP in Obama Admin.) took classified documents!

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
2  Texan1211    one week ago

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  • Overall, we rate Wonkette as strongly left-biased based on story selection and opinions that always favor the left and denigrate the right. We also rate them Mixed for factual reporting because satire is mixed with factual news, which is misleading.

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
2.1  seeder  JohnRussell  replied to  Texan1211 @2    one week ago
We also rate them Mixed for factual reporting because satire is mixed with factual news, which is misleading.

[Deleted]

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
2.1.1  Texan1211  replied to  JohnRussell @2.1    one week ago
Probably too much for some small minds to handle

I have every confidence you'll get it!

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
2.1.2  seeder  JohnRussell  replied to  Texan1211 @2.1.1    one week ago

I am not responsible for everything that goes over your head. There aren't enough hours in the day. 

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
2.1.3  Texan1211  replied to  JohnRussell @2.1.2    one week ago
I am not responsible for everything that goes over your head.

Thank God!

There aren't enough hours in the day. 

Well, certainly not, as long as Trump lives!

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
3  Kavika     6 days ago

It is certainly concerning that now another VP/President has classified material in their possession. What procedures are in effect to prevent this sort of thing from happening, it would seem if there are any they remind one of Swiss Cheese.

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Sophomore Principal
3.1  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  Kavika @3    6 days ago

The procedures include very clear regulations and restrictions coupled with mandatory training along with annual refresher training.  After that, the system is very dependent on whomever holds the documents handling them properly.  

To avoid accidental mishandling, I rarely print but read most documents on screen.  When I have to print to take to a meeting, I destroy it immediately following the printed use.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
3.1.1  Kavika   replied to  Drinker of the Wry @3.1    6 days ago
After that, the system is very dependent on whomever holds the documents handling them properly.  

Seems that at least three people have no idea how to handle them properly.

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Principal
4  Buzz of the Orient    6 days ago

Holy Smoke!!!  I sure hope the Department of Justice or Homeland Security or the FBI or CIA or whatever doesn't search my storage unit in Toronto, in case they may find some classified documants there.  Maybe during all my travels in the USA over many decades I took photos of something that is top secret, and didn't bring it with me here. 

 
 

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