Sex Euphemisms
Many, many, many eons ago when I was just a wee sprite in an institution of higher learning, I had a roommate who was taking some psychology class (I think it was a sex class 
). Anyway, she had an assignment to find as many euphemisms for sex as she could find. There were right around 8 of us virginal beauties living in that house, and she managed to go back to class with a list of over 100.
If we had had another day or two I think we could have reached twice that.
So.....no dirty pitchers, please, just words. And if this is not your cup of tea the door is over there -------------------------->
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That photo up there is the Oak Grove on the IUP campus. That building straight ahead is the theater building. I think we can create some great theater with this topic
"I'm a virgin so I really don't know any special words for sex."
Ok, Virginia
I could fix that for you. Won't take too long ... three, four hours. I don't like to drive fast ... I prefer the scenic route. We'll call in for a pizza.
Might be more appropriate to say 'okay, Brett'. ( I suspect that is Skrekk's context. )
Ah, I get it now
Bingo.
vids or it's not true.
It's fun to take the scenic route on occasion, fishboy. A good giggle and tickle is why I'm so fickle. Gettin' down to bidnez takes little time, to be sure, but sometimes you just want to enjoy someone's company and a good exploration takes time.
I heard badfish's vids can be checked out at your nearest Redbox.
Are they the ones in the brown paper wrapper?
And double wrapped.
No, they're the ones wrapped in the week-old newspaper which was previously used to wrap the bad fish.
No wonder everyone says they smell like fish.
Now ask her why Domino's is on her speed dial, she says "The usual" and a pizza arrives with sausage, pepperoni, and little blue specs under the cheese...
Don't feel like the lone ranger...I had to read it a few tim.....ahhh who the hell am I kidding, I used Tig's post.
Damn...why am I married and you so far away? I LOVE the Motown slowdown route....Teddy Style (He says in a sultry breath)
siiigggggghhhhhhhhhh ...
His fucking auto correct is a judgmental prude.
He probably said "cum".
Gosh ... it's been so long since I had sex, I forget who ties whom up.
I kid. I played Pokemoan hours ago.
There she is! Now we have a party!
Where did Uptownchick go? And Sister Mary Agnes?
Present but working from a tablet...grrrr
Morning radio show had to keep it PG and would call it baking cookies...I miss baking cookies 🍪🍪
They're busy texting each other:
I read something about Fuzzy tacos earlier.
That really is the name of a restaurant. We have one near where I live. I ate there....once
Oh jeez! That reminds me of the time I was driving to work and the DJ wanted listeners to call in with the rudest thing someone's boyfriend ever told them. (His girlfriend told him he was insensitive when it came to her.) A few listeners called in with a few little kinda funny rude comments. This one woman calls in and says: "My boyfriend was so awful; he wanted to have sex and I told him I was ... well ... on my period." The DJ says: "Well?" She says "Well, he says 'your butt's not on its period!'"
I had to pull over I was laughin' so damned hard!!!
I usually discard them once they start growing mold.
Hey, let's talk badfish into making this his Halloween costume!
I don't think we'll have to twist his arm
riding the hobby horse
hiding the salami
a poke in the whiskers
Tube Snake Boogie
A bit of crumpet
A bit of the old in-out, in-out
Aggressive cuddling
Attacking the pink fortress
nice Clockwork Orange reference
Mr G and I now have hallway sex
Are you going to leave us hanging?
Oh! Sorry 'bout that
It's when you pass each other in the hallway and tell each other ' "fuck you"
OMIGAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWDDDD!!!! FUCKIN' HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!
You're killing me. And I have bladder control issues.
See? I said we need a flag option for "making me pee in my pants"
You might have a point there.
Oh here's one!
Bagpipping!
Pressure-washing the quiver bone in the bitch wrinkle.
Getting one’s Twinkie stinky.
Playing with the box the kid came in.
I used to play lot's of pool
why did every one laugh
when ever I called,
Two ball, middle pocket
Pants: Peed.
chicken
What? You got the higher rating, ffs!
What? No one's mentioned "devil's triangle" and "boofing"???
or FFFFF ?
(sic)?
Hey! Giggles shows up as "Author"! That's so cool ... is that new?
I just noticed it! That is cool!
My evil plan has worked
Yes ladies and gents that is new!
We are always trying to improve the site for your enjoyment.
I love it! You and TiG have really done a lot to improve the site and I appreciate it
Thanks guys. Always trying to make NT more fun!
Leaving for the night. Be good and if you can't be good be good at it
Laying wood to the beef curtain.
Crushing buns
Crippling the cooter.
Getting some stank on the hung low.
Laying pipe
Nut in the gut
Organ grinding
Playing with the box the kid came in
Beaver beating
Releasing the troops.
17 Euphemisms for Sex From the 1800s
1. Amorous congress
To say two people were engaged in amorous congress was by far the most polite option on the list, oftentimes serving as the definition for other, less discreet synonyms.
2. Basket-making
"Those two recently opened a basket-making shop." From a method of making children's stockings, in which knitting the heel is called basket-making .
3. Bread and butter
One on top of the other. "Rumor has it he found her bread and butter fashion with the neighbor."
4. Brush
"Yeah, we had a brush once." The emphasis here is on brevity; just a fling, no big deal.
5. Clicket
"They left together, so they're probably at clicket." This was originally used only for foxes, but became less specific as more and more phrases for doing it were needed.
6. Face-making
Aside from the obvious, this also comes from "making children," because babies have faces.
7. Blanket hornpipe
There is probably no way to use this in seriousness or discreetly, but there you have it.
8. Blow the grounsils
"Grounsils" are foundation timbers, so "on the floor."
9. Convivial society
Similar to "amorous congress" in that this was a gentler term suitable for even the noble classes to use, even if they only whispered it.
10. Take a flyer
"Flyers" being shoes, this is "dressed, or without going to bed."
11. Green gown
Giving a girl a green gown can only happen in the grass.
12. Lobster kettle
A woman who sleeps with soldiers coming in at port is said to "make a lobster kettle" of herself.
13. Melting moments
Those shared by "a fat man and woman in amorous congress."
14. Pully hawly
A game at pully hawly is a series of affairs.
15. St. George
In the story of St. George and the Dragon , the dragon reared up from the lake to tower over the saint. "Playing at St. George" casts a woman as the dragon and puts her on top.
16. A stitch
Similar to having a brush, "making a stitch" is a casual affair.
17. Tiff
A tiff could be a minor argument or falling-out, as we know it. In the 19th century, it was also a term for eating or drinking between meals, or in this case, a quickie.
See how versatile Sinners and ButtHeads are? We even get history lessons!
Great list, Uptownchick!
Uppy is one smart chick.
True dat. Uppy's no downer.
I always thought it was "Hornpie"
Nevertheless, it still makes no sense to me, lol
The horizontal tango
getting your groove on
putting the stink in the mink
flocking the xmas tree
Always try before you buy......use Zappos for vaginas.
Yikes
love the brevity
the what?
... of the euphemism. did I spell it wrong? everyone is a critic now...
stiffing the waitress
stuffing the snapper
sharpening the sword
"to the bat cave"
Fuck?
I've hear that one.
Is it some kind of medical terminology?
Technically it's a very hard to reach the actual entrance.
I once met a technical virgin but I couldn't understand her explanation because her mouth was full.
One of the comments here reminded me of a bit from Ron White, talking about his wife being on her period and no sex.
Just because the roller coaster is broke, doesn't mean the whole amusement park is shut down...the log ride is still open!
Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose? They couldn't close his casket.
Gosh! You guys started me thinking...And I'm wondering why nobody has done it yet...The end credit outtakes from "Grumpier old men"
Now I'm going to have to watch that movie again....
True Story:
My buddy cuts half his index (first) finger with a skil-saw.
We're at the hospital and he calls his wife on speaker phone no less.
oh dear gawwwwwwwwwwwwwwd!!!!
I just enlisted in this group so I'm late on this article.
It reminds me of the "Innuendo article" on NV.
It was what I was trying to re-create but without all the pearl clutching and couch fainting. As you may have noticed, the prudes stayed off this article
religious euphemisms for sex usually aren't that funny. welcome back al.
No, but you did make me think of a few..."shtooped"
"He was liimping like an alter boy after high mass"
baculum
Who is... the actor from Quantum Leap?