I'm a Submariner...Of course I'm an Asshole!
At the hospital having blood drawn. New records system didn't propagate my records, so they have to ask all the health questions again.
Nurse: Do you drink alcohol?
Me: I'm a Sub Sailor. Of course I do.
Nurse: How much do you drink? 2 or more a day?
Me: When ever I can.
Nurse: Do you have feelings of hurting yourself, or hurting others?
Me: Yeah, every snowflake liberal I meet I want to treat like a glow stick, snap them and shake them until the light comes on.
Nurse: Do you have trouble standing or walking?
Me: Only when I drink.
Nurse: Are you in any pain right now.
Me: Well, I haven't started drinking yet, so yeah...
Nurse: We're done with the questions.
Me: Good, let's get this blood drawn so I can have a beer.
Uncle Bruce is setting them straight again
As a U.S. Navy Hospital Corpsman, I was offered the chance to attend the Navy's Nuclear Submarine Medicine School. I told my leading Chief Petty Officer that I had to decline it for two resons. One was that I was claustrophobic and two was that I just could not get used to the idea of being on a boat that sank on purpose. He looked at me and smiled and said, "The sinking is not the problem, it's the coming back up that is.".
I forgot to mention above that my leading Chief was also a submarine who a total jerk and had no respect for anyone that refused sub duty...
My stepson is a submariner. Turns out he is a giant asshole, just like his brother who happens to be my other daughter’s baby daddy. It’s true - society benefits when you all are hundreds of feet below the surface of the ocean.
Correction - son in law, not step son.
I don’t know.
Have a nephew who’s an officer on the USS Colorado and is a great guy.
Maybe it’s an enlisted thing ...... 😉
As a watchaholic have to ask what is the most popular watch among actual submariners?
Can't imagine most could afford the Rolex but the Luminox is fairly affordable.
I doubt healthcare providers find alcohol fueled elder rage profound or funny.
Nobody ever wanted to listen to angry olde men complain about the government at the VA hospital where I used to volunteer. My dog Daphne was a VA Certified Therapy Animal. That didn't stop some of the worst dementia cases from continually cussing and bitching and complaining about Obama and the Democrats and the government. Plus, lots of racist shit, of course. You would think they would realize the people spoon feeding them, bathing them and wiping their rank asses all worked for the government butt...no. At least they were not allowed to drink...
I’m sure they are equally unimpressed with tight-asses who have no sense of humor.
That's funny /s...
Yeah it would be if it wasn't so true ....
It's funny. The nurses laughed. Get over it.
You have to remember that some of these humor-challenged folks actually take people like AOC seriously.
And I don't care who you are, that shit is freaking hilarious!
Time you got over yourself can you still fit through a hatch
cargo hatch
Or in your case .... a Booby Hatch ....
I take my fitness advise from booze and bad choices ....
OK, back on track...
Bruce, there is no doubt your a Submariner, and of course an asshole.
The bigger question is who would want your blood? I think there might be enough alcohol in it to make people drunk for about a week.