Extraterrestrials Admit Responsibility for Unidentified Objects but Claim They Were Only Monitoring Weather
By: Conde Nast (The New Yorker)
The revelation appeared in an official statement released to the American media by an organization calling itself the Intergalactic Command Force
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
By Andy Borowitz
February 13, 2023
OUTER SPACE (The Borowitz Report)—Extraterrestrial beings have admitted surveilling the United States with high-altitude objects, but claimed that they did so only to monitor the weather.
The revelation appeared in an official statement released to the American media by an organization calling itself the Intergalactic Command Force.
"The I.C.F. has, over the past several years, launched a series of surveillance craft that have hovered over the United States," the statement read. "We can assure you that we did this only to advance our understanding of weather conditions in your country."
The aliens admitted that they were "surprised" that their high-altitude objects had gone undetected for so long.
"Given that the Pentagon has an annual budget of eight hundred billion dollars, we never dreamed it would take them years to notice us," the statement read.
Tags
Who is online
41 visitors
By posting to this seed, you are agreeing to abide by the Group's Rules .
Are you sure they're not right wing fascists?
Terrestrial: noun - an inhabitant of the earth
Extra: adverb - to a greater extent than usual
Well, there seem to be quite a lot of white right wing religious conservatives who think they're 'greater' than every other inhabitant of earth. I don't think it's a stretch to think most white supremacists and white nationalists think of themselves as 'extra' terrestrials since they certainly think themselves 'extra' special.