John Unlike Me is a pseudonym, a symbol even, for a truly amazing man that I met during the post-modern 1990's. I had newly come to faith in God in the mid-90's and I was progressing through a six-week interval some of you may be conscious of or have observed in new believers: It is a stage most noticeable in men by a new found sense of hugging or embracing other men as a form of greeting. It is a harmless practice. First, a little humor:

John Unlike Me and I met on my job. His opening greeting was original and irrepressible, for as he shook my hand and leaned in for a hug he uttered, "Good God AlMighty Bless You!" Well, I immediately replied, "God bless you!" and separated from the embrace. In this briefest of exchanges something important was shared between us, but as it turns out it was not a mutual sharing of a belief system! Turns out John was not religious in any sense I could detect. John Unlike Me and I became really good friends that day, and I can honestly say that I learned from him some things which warm my soul even today as I write this blog. Moreover, I hope and trust he learned a thing or two from me too.

John and I could not have been on more different treks. He an entertainer and performer, a good one I soon learned, also had this incredible connection with the women he dated I later discovered. Me, a newly confessing "baby-Christian" on the beginning cog of a lifelong journey into the realm of faith. Each time we'd get together, we'd hug up, separate, and he would hail, "Good God All Mighty Bless You!"   And I back, "God Bless You, John."

John Unlike Me loved taking me out places. And, I must say how swell it was to take off and go away too. For me, having a true heterosexual "pal" was unusual. It became an exciting new adventure in itself! Y'all, this was the early 90’s, and the culture still had the luxury of stigmatizing those whom it collectively chose to label, shall I say, "Indiscreet." The shadow of a man named Barack Obama, “The Straightener” was likely casting itself on the mean streets of Chicago, and the future president was bodily working through the ranks of local, and state politics!

I can distinctly remember occasions where I was simultaneously out with John and introspectively watching the scene from somewhere up above us thinking: S o, this is what it is like to bond in friendship with heterosexual males .  Just coffees.  Just dinners. Just sleep. No ‘hook-ups.' It was like being allowed a 'special pass' into a new reality!

Note: I could put a whole discussion here about the internal peace and comfort women must feel inside when hanging out with gay men.

Once while I was on a lunch date with John Unlike Me, I begin talking about my faith in Jesus Christ and my church which I had certainly grown to love. We talked, and John began to explain what spirituality meant to him. To my surprise, his concept of 'Good God Almighty' was not a belief in a superior being! John’s philosophy encompassed, oddly enough, his approach to love-making with the woman, or women, in his life. He opened up to me about the great care, passion, and attention to detail he took with a woman’s body, mind, and spirit. How the ‘acts’ were what I could only guess he meant as “spiritual rides” of ecstasy!

As you might imagine, this was not what this newly developing "baby" Christian was expecting, or prepared, to hear! HA! To quickly round the bend in the discussion I interjected, “John, you should come to church with me next Sunday.” He looked at me with his usual savoir faire and replied, “Of course!” And, he honored his word. Now John Unlike Me , the performer and Casanova-lover, was a bit post-modern in his fashion sense as well. When Sunday arrived I had no idea what he might choose to adorn himself in at my church door (I, a newly-minted deacon, was already at-station since AM Sunday school). In the New Testament, I am told the shortest written verse is, “Jesus wept.” It’s John 11:35. Well, . . . .

"John arrived. " No pun intended.

At the 11:00 AM Service and right on time  there stood John, affirming me and my trust in him once more. He was at my church! (Who is this guy?) I literally leaped inwardly. Him , dressed in a suit and tie wearing those customary ear-rings —in both ears! Allow this image of him to sink in for a moment. Because, it did not bother me one bit. He stayed the entire church service and waited for me, his friend to walk out together. Later, he told me, it was a really nice service.

About a month later, John gave me a gift of a very intricately worked ‘rainbow’ jeweled crown with the inscription, “ Jesus ” set into it. A rainbow brooch. The irony did not escape me . In the year plus of friendship, as young friends, we had never discussed my past life. It’s just one of those discerning ether-like moments of knowing, I’d guess.

This was the 1990's and John Unlike Me , in his special way, taught me a lot about ordinary relationships and male bonding which can give much and is no way over-demanding. This man simply affirmed me as a fellow human-being. As a new Christian, I was learning "somethings" fast about “straight” male relationships. Things which had been walled off to me up to this point. Call it lack of interests or just no 'time and space' supplied to breath life into finding out more. I dunno. But there it was occurring, as some 'auto response' correlating to my new calling, and spiritual connection. Last night, as I did my usual OT/NT Bible reading I came next to this Old Testament passage:

  David and Jonathan’s Friendship

 I Samuel 18:1:  As soon as he [David] had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. 2 And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father’s house. 3 Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. 4 And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt. 

John Unlike Me , shall forever be just this kind of friend in my soul.

NOTE:  After  writing this blog, I was provided an interesting link to subject matter on which I plan to blog!

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