Poor People don’t make Bad Decisions: A response to Linda
It is a good narrative of a life lived on the fringe of things. It is a good story in the way of truth, and honesty that has an intention to teach. She has the voice of so many, but the ears of even more. That alone would have caused a person to glean some hope from it all. But she also sounds to young to know that what happened as a result is crushing to others who can not speak of such things. There is an underlying sense of shame in what she has to say. Thus, she has in her final statement, committed to doing good things with the largess pouring in as a result of her teaching moment. Does one have to confess to the state of their condition, reveal all of the things that that condition does to the human body, mind and soul, to live a life that offers some satisfaction? To gain understanding? Acceptability? Must we now take from this yet another lesson in how generous those who made this life necessary, are? Oh praise the lord a miracle?! No mention is made of what her children are/have learned with such a perspective. What we are certain of is that her ability to communicate her lifes condition has sparked a fire in the guilty hearts of those who contribute daily to the continued existence and maintenance of poverty.
What of those grandparents, great aunts and uncles, family from the days of our yesterfamilyhistory who stood and proudly fought for basic human needs, and the responsibility of those who have those basics needs, to safeguard it for all others? Where did she get the idea that she MUST rationalize the choices she makes in her life! Why do those choices come with such a heavy consequence that she lives a hopeless life for the judgements exacted on her? You get me?!
I share in her condition, and have for all of my entire adult life. However, I do not apologize for my choices, I celebrate them, and I do not judge my life on the premise that it is somehow less then the lives others lead, nor do I look upon my effort in living it as a wasted effort, one that I resign myself to. I am a proud woman who lives in a community of people who happen to find themselves more in the service to others than to themselves. Should we turn that on its ear, we would be just fine. I have my days, just like she does, I am different only in that, I am not hopeless Im pissed.
I have known a happiness in many things. When I refuse to judge the way we honor the holiday season by the standard put out there by a greedy mean corporate marketplace. We do just fine in celebration of birthdays, milestones, when we build a tradition that has some depth of meaning rather then a tradition supported by a do gooder middle classe and those above. Who said the mark of excellence begins with the material? The words of this courageous woman are lacking something important, something I have worked very hard to try and keep somewhere in our landscape Our captors do not design the characteristics of what a good life is. We allow that, and her perspective is riddled with it as her measuring stick. She looks at the landscape of corporate largess and all that it produces and says because I dont achieve that and may never my life is hopeless, my life is see as worthless so I must have what makes me look valuable in the eyes of those who DO have acceptance.
The profound moment is when Linda puts it out there almost apologetically that she cant get to planned parenthood as it is so far away, and she doesnt have the gas. I understand all of the things she cant get to. That is not at issue. What is at issue is that she felt the need to highlight it. As if to say, sorry I got pregnant. She never mentions how much of her poverty is also the domain of the men who fathered her children, or man. I dont want to make any assumptions. In fact, in the comment area of her story there is a contributor named chris who tells her to close her legs and save us all the trouble. There it is. Linda, if men where held to the same standard theyd have a solution. NO shit. Cause they would NEVER see abstinence as a solution. Well, not an acceptable one anyway. Apologize to no one for having your kids. After all, one of them may be president one day, right? Everyone says it. Out one side of their mouths is the addage that our children are precious, but out the other is the reality that everyones children doesnt include our children. If it did then we wouldnt be where we are. Not that where we are is a bad place as I said, we live in a community like everyone else, we just have to contend with what others feel about our community, dont we.
I sit in my kitchen and give no inch. I am proud of what I have accomplished with my life, and I have three wonderful children, one of which I place for adoption because I believed people just like the ones who are now commenting on Lindas story. I assessed what they wanted me to assess, and I made the decision they wanted me to make. It was a mistake! I am a strong, hard working, good person. I have managed to bring my children to adulthood and now help my daughter bring her children to adulthood, and we have no more than what we had when I was 25. I even achieved my degree at the University of Oklahoma, as people like those commenting on Lindas story said I should, that it was what we needed to be productive and successful. Those that makes the rules, ensure that those who they find compliant rise. compliant and worthy. If you make mistakes, dependent on the nature of that mistake, you have 1/2 a shot at overcoming it, or, you did. These days not so much.
I managed to get my family to my sons wedding this summer. It drained us. The tranny blew, catastrophic failure I believe they called it. That upstanding garage owner who put it in has said hell do the honorable thing and give us $1000 back. Hes middle to upper class. A business owner. He knows that the catastrophic failure cost us over $7000 and that we almost lost jobs, our bills budget is depleted, weve managed to get ourselves only half a month behind in our rent, one of us maxed a card, the interest went up, we leave some of the leave-able bills unpaid, and the holiday will be what the last 30 years of holidays have been, a time together with little in the way of what is now seen as a traditional celebration. I used to cry about it when I was younger, not anymore. Just like Linda, we take what we get, we solve them as best we can, and we try not to let the stress tear us apart. Its where you choose to put your energy when the living of this life as it is right now isnt everything the fairytales of that American Dream said it would be. Weve got it good compared to others who look different then the majority want, or find acceptable. We know this. We live it. We find the part of living that is valuable and maximize our energy there. I like where we live, I like my neighbors, we live and we let live. When those who wanna piece of our compliance come around, we shoo them away. Sure, it hurts sometimes. We have each other when that happens.
I like Linda. I like her honesty. I dont care however, what anyone thinks of how I live. Its my life, and Ill live it the way I decide it should be lived. Linda hasnt gotten there yet, and, odds are that the largess she is experiencing has come at the right time so that shell see it for what it is, and not infect her with that middle class illusions. The value of a dollar hasnt fallen, it has overcome the place in all of our hearts where we exhibit balance and never forget what is important, we are as a national community, unbalanced. Money, and its accumulation has become what most everyone I see identifies as a successful life. We couldnt be farther from our humanity if we tried.
Here is what I wish for.
I hope that Linda gets financially even. That she pays off some bills and gives herself some breathing room. I hope that she takes what is left and offers up some real value, some bang for that buck. I hope she invests in the change by staying away from those exclusive areas where false security is going for about $1000 a month rent. I hope she gives away some of that largess so she can keep keenly aware of where she is and that is a good place. I hope she sees what the ugliness is really about instead of running so far from it that it is left to get worse for her absence. I hope she doesnt fall victim to the lottery dreams that are so very empty of anything solid. I hope that she stops apologizing for who she is, and that it is something to feel so hopeless about. I hope she rereads what she wrote when shes had some more sleep and sees the beauty of her words. I have a lot of hopes for Linda.
Something that seems to continue to resonate for me is the most difficult to communicate, although, Linda did a good job of it, she still missed the heart of it somehow. She doesnt address her issues, she identifies her problems, and most importantly, she doesnt need someones advocacy, advocacy has become another industry from which many make their living. She says that rather well. She needs what every human being breathing needs. It cant be found in one word, it is a string of words.
She needs pride in community. We may live in what others refer to as poverty, but it is our neighborhoods, our place, our home, where our lives happen, and we dont need anyone putting expectations all over it that make them feel better about why we exist.
We need justice. A system that levels a consequence when others take advantage of the lack of choices we live with everyday. Real consequences. We also need a justice that is merciful when we do what we have to do to make it through each day.
We need acknowledgment. It is not always ignorance, stupidity, or some other righteous label that put people in this financial existence. We know it is absolutely useful to have so many of us here to do what so many of you there, need us to do (work for nothing, raising profits, and so many other benefits to numerous to name).
She needs access to the same thing others enjoy that ensure a payoff for her effort. Opportunity was the first thing to be co-opted and which no one talks about very often with any teeth. Cant blame you as the access to resources is a very important element of controlling the responses of people who may become to independent, check history for the explanation to that.
These are all things the middle class won each step of the way while we were becoming the free est nation on the planet, and which in turn that same middle class did not safeguard from the folk who saw their profits slipping away and their club growing to large. The royals. The 1/10th of a percent who control every aspect of our once free nation to be. The very same group who compromised our system, our growing republic, the very same who pit us against each other and use my neighborhood as the threat. Careful what you say and do or youll end up just like them. Well, if you do youll be among good company, and they are terrified that youll find that out. Linda did her part in showing you we are people.
Were good people who do things that dont look very acceptable. I apologize to no one. And I am learning too. That lazy middle class who compromised us? Didnt protect those things fought so hard for and won, the things were losing daily? well, theyre moving back into the neighborhood in droves now. Ive discovered (once the shock wears off and their indignation settles down), that they arent bad people either.
Turns out none of us really are, we got the way we are for good reason the upper echelons just dont want you to know. It really does hurt their bottom line to understand someone elses bottomline so well, you wakeyou see, you judge others less harshly, you get to know them, you turn, and you see who makes this misery possible. A deep and abiding desire to change that grows yeah, that really bothers them.
Written by Mountainfirefall Nov. 26
Tags
Who is online
69 visitors
I'm trying to think what to say that won't sound trite.
I can't help but agree with you. People have no idea what it is to be poor, to rob Peter to pay Paul to keep Fred from banging on the door. It's not that people make bad choices, it's that there are no choices to make.
Most people aren't bad people. We are all trying our best. I think a lot of people don't know how to be poor. My across-the-street-neighbor had no money, but, by golly, she ordered a blouse/shirt, one per year, from Neiman Marcus or Saks. I can't do that. She could. She had grown up wealthy and had never lived like she lived towards the end of her life.
I think we all need to recognize that most people do the best they can with what they have. The middle class is fast disappearing. And yeah, I blame all the corporations that pay no taxes. And yeah, I blame Reagan for the mess we're in. It all started with him and the Greed is Good time of our lives.
We all have to get a bit more creative.
Take care--
Who's Linda?
Excellent article mountainfirefall.
Old Ojibwe saying, ''Gakina Awiiya''. (we are all related)
Linda Tirado. Thanks. I'll read the rest of what you wrote later.
I subscribe to Occam's razor.
Well, I think I was the first one to read this article, at least I was the first one to click "like". After browsing it over I read the last two paragraphs since it looked quite long and then I just decided to go on and read it.
I read the whole thing and then I read Linda's article. Linda's article was easier to read and understand for me at 2am in the morning and I was really sleepy and tired. I decided I would wait until I was a little more alert to come back to it. So here I am after reading and studying each sentence numerous times.
I admit I'm no Einstein and have to put a tremendous amount of effort into some things to really grasp the underlying meaning. So in saying that, I will try to see if I got this right and at the same time explain how I feel.
As I see it, you think Linda has tried to explain her position in life because of the shame she feels. Let me tell you, I'm aware I could be completely wrong in my assumptions here. And you feel she owes no one any explanation for the way she feels or the position she finds herself in. She wants acceptance and you're a little pissed because of it. No so much pissed, but you don't feel she owes anyone any explanation at all, nor do you. Well I agree with you on that.
Let me say some of the best times of my life have been when I was poor and all the people who were poor with me didn't know it either. I wasn't ashamed of it nor was I pissed because I really didn't care what others thought of me. Christmas was a family get together with a meal more than anything else and the good company of friends. I sometimes wish I could go to sleep December 1st and wake up January 2nd. Now I'm not rich now either, but I'm a lot better off financially today than I was during that time.
Happiness to me is what one of my uncles who did have plenty told me one time. He said, "You know Six, the older I get the most important things to me are a warm place to shit and good friends." Well I understood what he was saying.
I always liked to go see my older family members, because I could carry them a box of candy and make their day. We could get in my car and just ride all over the place, since in most cases they weren't able to get out and do it themselves. That warmed my heart. That made my day.
I don't hold any animosity toward the poor, middle class or even the rich. I feel we all live our lives and each one of us has our own experiences in it and no ones experiences are any more valuable than anyone else experience.
If you want to be rich, I say go for it. If you want to keep up with the Jones, then be my guest. If you're poor and happy, then that is where you are most comfortable, but don't complain about it. Accept it as a choice in your life and be happy with it.
Oh I know many will want to jump on me for typing that statement, but it is a fact in my opinion we do have choices to make. I know growing up and living in certain environments blind us to many of those choices, but if we are not satisfied with our situation, then do something about it. Otherwise be proud of your choice as you seem to have indicated.
Oh to be poor, then in pretty good financial shape, be poor again and then to get back on your feet. Wouldn't give up the experience for a million dollars. After all, I will not exist one day and I've experience things I never thought I would. I feel lucky or fortunate. This has put a whole new perspective on life I would have never known had it not been so.
Well you'll have to excuse me. I've been working on and off on a song I am practicing while writing this. It's not a long tune nor is it that good, but I intend to record it and put it at the bottom of this comment before I post it, because I think I probably have it down as good as I will, at least for now. And it will fall into obscurity quickly. So bear with me.
When I see the "greedy mean corporate marketplace" I have to wonder why are you describing them this way. I mean we all can't just sit around a fire and chant, can we? I would say while you are looking at them you look and see all the people who are getting paid to work for them. And this "working for nothing". I don't know of any place where that happens, at least not very long. You see they are trading their time for the very thing that pays their bills so they can experience some of the pleasures and necessities in life. Oh, if I'm correct, I do agree lots of holidays are not what I would like them to be. I would say they are way too commercial. But I also understand I don't have to participate nor apologize for it.
And in saying that, I don't have to apologize for the way I live my life either as long as I'm doing the best I can and not hurting or stealing from anyone else. I do believe in helping those who can't help themselves and helping those who can do so.
My life has not been a fairy tale no more than many others lives have been a fairy tale. Remember, that was just a fairy tale and another thing I believe in is harmony. I would love to say it's an old Indian saying and probably is. I try to live my life in harmony with my environment whatever it is. I don't look for happiness. We should know happiness is always fleeting like making a perfect score on every test. If that is my expectation to pass the grade, then I'm sure to fail.
The middle to upper class transmission man who cost you $7,000. I do remember having an old Buick years ago and the transmission started humming louder and louder. Well I stopped by a transmission place and the old fellow told me I needed my filter changed and practically promised me that was my problem. Well you know what? When they changed the transmission fluid and filter it was still humming. I paid the son of a gun anyway. He referred me to a backyard mechanic who rebuilt my transmission for about half the price everyone else wanted and it worked perfect after that. The only problem with that old Buick was you could drill for oil where I parked. I use to park on the road, down the road or anywhere other than the driveways of my friends and if there was no other choice I would get a cardboard box and put under the engine to collect the oil before it stained their concrete drives. But aside from that, I'm wondering how you can put the $7,000 blame on the transmission guy for your transmission going out, evidently on your way to or from your son's wedding. I'm sorry you had the problem, but in today's world you probably could have skipped that wedding and caught him on the next one. And the "middle to upper class" is a little closed minded as well in my opinion. Maybe you knew him for a long time. Maybe he inherited the business from his father. Or maybe he was a backyard mechanic who centered his attention on transmissions and worked a full time job while moonlighting by working on people's transmissions for years until he was able to open a little shop and build upon that by working 14 to 16 hours a day for several years until he started to really make some money and become a "middle to upper class". I really don't care for the word "class", as it is a Marxist word in the use of people in general.
Humanity has to have the basic elements to survive. Some have to have more to be happy than others. There is no sin in driving a new car any more than there is a sin in driving an old car. It's not an illusion when you have no money to buy food for the family any more than it is an illusion to have the money to buy food for the family. I actually prefer the latter myself.
I really am not interested in gauging my success in how much money I have nor do I care how anyone else gauges their success. If they don't know what the important things in life are then so be it. I've found the important things in life are a new car when the money's right and I'm tired of the old one and the most important thing in life is a glass of water when I've been stuck out in the dessert for a couple of days. So I would say everything is somewhat relative to the individual's circumstances and is none of my business.
Talking about the middle class. The middle class has been dwindling for many years while the richest have grown tremendously. The only other class to have grown is the poor. They've grown quite a bit as well, which isn't a good thing. Now lets see who we can blame this on. We can't blame it on the rich. There are a lot of rich people, but their are many more middle class and poor people in this country. Can we blame it on the politicians? Well I guess we could if we removed the many voters who put them there and kept them there from the equation. So who must we blame? We must blame ourselves. Oh, what a novel idea, taking the blame for being where we are in this country today. It's unheard of to do such a thing. You see each of us has the responsibility to be an informed voter and to inform those who aren't informed voters. I mean, just how many politicians have served 4, 10, 15, 20 or more years as congressmen. Oh we can blame the lobbyist. No, I don't think so. We have to take the blame. We have many more votes than any other faction in this country, but it is our responsibility to be informed and vote responsible. With the newest legislations or laws that is put on the books, being pretty good in math, I can see the middle class dwindling much faster than any time in history, yet we continue to put our trust in the same people who got us here in the first place by re-electing them. So we have to take the blame whether we like it or not. It starts with the people.
Justice. Oh I agree with you on this one for sure. Justice is bought and paid for. There is no justice in this country of corruptness unless you have the money to pay for it.
Oh yes if it is you're saying your poor then you will need to move over and make room for many more to join your group. As the race to the bottom has been set in motion you'll have plenty more company in the years to come.
And you'll find as you said, "They'll be nice people", just like you and I who have blindly voted ourselves into this race.
Sorry my comment was longer than your article.
Forgot to add attachment.
Beautiful song Six..
Thank you Mountainfirefall...
That's what I call a civil response and actually says something worthy of reading.
Thank you very much Mountain.
Poor does not mean trash, as money does not mean class, at least to me, Gunny. I know a lot of people that aren't rich by any means, but they have class. I know a lot of rich people, as well, and most of them have little or no class. Of course, there are exceptions to just about every rule.
I once watched a TV show about brides. In one show, the bride's brother was horsing around with his brothers and his friends and fell, right in the middle of the wedding cake, knocking it to the ground and totally destroying this gorgeous cake. The bride, ran to her brother, helped him up, and made sure he was all right. He was so very sorry, afraid she would be angry with him, and she said, "My brother is more important to me than any cake." That girl had class.
In no way, would I consider you to be "trash". You are a good man.