Wipeout
Okay, that was cute. But it is not why we are here.
You can be well educated, I am not credentialed, but I have seemed to be smarter than any I have met that were. This may seem arrogant, but it is my story. Deal with it.
How do we deal with mental distress as a society and the fallout from that ? Poorly at best.
Most is grouped into "depression", I am beginning to be able to work with that.
How did I get here ? Did I drive myself to the point of breaking ? or was it more ?
More important, is how did the system respond to help ?
Short answer, zero. Here is Leave of Absence papers, get help. Let's just think about this, here is someone who has said they can no longer function, lets cut them loose and trust them to take the proper steps to seek treatment. Good plan.
Well, it did not work. All I did was isolate and become nearly drowned in self pity and despair. The thoughts of suicide were not prevalent, but were not off the menu. Too messy for the most part. I could not put my 6 brothers and sisters through that. Most of them hate me, I can't help that, I can possibly heal some of that before my death. If not, only good.
The moral of the story is if someone asks for help, you cannot trust them to seek it, particuality in this area. We already know the subject is unstable, put the options front and center and demand a decision, not just a oh, we have an option.
It can Happen to any of us. 84
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Sorry to hear this, 84. Mickey is giving sound advice. Seek help and demand it.
Friends are our foundations often times. Seek them out, it helps to hold on to them. You may believe you are alone, but I wager you are not. Look to your friends for assistance because some of them have probably been where you are now and may know the way.
Sometimes it helps to hold on to a big fish, too. (A little joke for you.)
Then any competentPsychiatrist and\or Psychologist will tell you that you likely didn't want to kill yourself so much as attract attention to your mental instability.
Those who really want to kill themselves do not fail at suicide. There are several chapters in the DSM regarding the subject.
Dear 84, we are here..for you. Mental health problems are frustrating no matter what. Even with the best of care, it takes more than just the medications and counseling to cope with the day-to-day challenges. Without that care, the problem becomes overwhelming. But more than anything else, the desire to heal must come from within you and that is where friends can help. I second Mickey and I hope you know many of us will be here, anytime you need us.
I would agree with Charles in that I have found the health care system lacking, especially when it comes to treating those who are the worst situation of need. If you can pay for it directly or with insurance they will treat you gladly, with the hand extended for payment. For those in the increasingly common situation of having no insurance available to them, they face the same hand with nothing to proffer.
The country needs to look long and hard at just what it's priorities are and just where all health and wellness fall into that mix.
Keep on, 84. Keep on.
First of all, thank you all for the support.
20+ years ago, thoughts of suicide in very bad times were making some inroads to my thought process. I quickly became an ex avid gun collector. Guess I did not it want it that much, but I had the wisdom to remove the really easy ways out of my bedroom. What I should have done, was seek treatment and counseling then, but the I finally got a job and rejoined the grind. Functionally effective, but ignored the possibility it could return.
This is or will be obviously difficult, and perhaps disjointed. I am gaining a perspective that the message I may be able to deliver will be more important than the vanity I hope to retain, will serve the the greater good. We are not perfect beings, never have been, most likely never will be. The very concept of perfection is alien to me. Perfection precludes the ability to improve or innovate. Imperfection on the inverse side of the equation provides a rich environment to provide solutions to known problems.
We have known for some time now, or 4-5 thousand years, that there are humans that are brilliant beyond any known criteria, most were labeled crazy. I certainly do not consider myself amongst those thinkers. But I think it may be a crime against humanity to dismiss random thoughts that may come up just because it did not come out of MIT. You can be crazy, and because your brain does not work like everyone else does not mean you can not contribute.
I do not have any technological contribution at this time, my point is, after going through 40 years of the corporate grooming I ended up as a middle manager with no control either above or below and was squeezed until I broke. Wow. Revelation. I need to contemplate this a tad more.
Thanks Again, 84.
I am here to help 84, Charles, and whatever anyone may think, I shall remain committed to it. He will never be alone.
No, none of us is perfect, 84. We all have to make our way through life as best as we can. We build upon our strengths and try to surmount our weaknessses. Yet, we will continue to falter, such is human nature. I have learned something from Sixpick here on NT - we will never find peace because it is so fleeting, all we can do is search for harmony..I quote him now because I think we can all use that advice!
Don't worry,
be happy
Here I give you my phone number
When you worry call me I make you happy
~ Bobby M.
Hal, may I call you too?
Sure thing !
It's just a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note.
I quite liked listening to the presidential news conference on mental health while driving to my first official therapy session. Kinda of ironic if you like that kind of thing. I also had a task to pick up a registered letter, which I knew was my termination.
Because, of the holiday, I may get a grace day, pipe dream, but I can hope, there is some of that left. Very little, but a vestige remains.
The way this was handled was poor at best, criminal ? not likely, inhumane, for sure.
Tomorrow I will have answers, good or bad, I am in treatment, that may not be enough.
Timing is everything, 84
My dear friend-- I love you, and hope that you are feeling better. Getting help is the only option sometimes. I fully support you in the decision to get help.
You know, one's mental health affects all aspects of our lives. I sometimeswonder if my anxiety and depression that I've dealt with didn't help cause a heart attack at 46. I mean, my body just gave out, sort of all at once. And the strange thing was that for the first time in my life, I was really happy... I had a little boy, 3 years old, etc.
I guesshappy stress is still stress.
No matter what, I love you and am your friend. Contact me any time. Please hang in there-- all of us would be very sad if you left us!
Much love to you!
This video is one I made... I hope you like it!
That depends on your outlook. I lost a job or two in my day, and whenever that happened, as I walked out of the building for the last time, I would be overcome with a sense of relief and freedom, knowing I was free to do anything I wanted, and because I was now "self employed", I was no longer limited to how much I could earn in the coming weeks.
To me, being released from theshacklesof an employer was cause for celebration.
Various ages, from early 20's to late 60's
What training or experience did you have?
Was building andremodelingcontractor. Did carpentry,masonry, roofing siding, storm windows, some plumbing and electrical. Later was real estate agent, and home mortgage loan officer.
Confidence.
Sometimesabsolutelynone.
Day to day, and yes.
One can start a business anyplace where there are people.
Why?
People were always telling me I was a little crazy.
Not true. I had to start many a day when things were totally fucked up around me.
One time I had to get started after my wife left with the kids, I had checks bouncing all over the county, and I didn't any money to finish the jobs I was working on, vehicles were not running, help didn't wouldn't show upbecausethey were owed money, customers were screaming at me and making threats ...... I just dealtwithit ..... I looked at my situation as a challenge I had to overcome ..... so I would just do some wheeling and dealing and get on with it.
If I had let myself get all depressed like I kind of wanted to .... I would have wound up in jail!
So depressed I was suicidal?! I was so pissed off at me for letting things get so fucked up I wanted to kill myself.
But I was in love with myself too much to let anything like that to happen to me.
Way too scary for me, like I said, I loved myself too much to allow me to go anyplace like that.
Had all of the above (except loss of sexual desire)..... just got on with it and did what I had to do.
You don't have to change your outlook if you have the right outlook in the first place.
I agree with those that advocatesome kind of HUMAN support system is key.
Part of that support system SHOULD be some kind trained mental health care professional.
Stress indeed can and DOES beat anyones psychology into abnormal status If it's long enough and intense enough to overcome a particular person's brain function.
Yes, brains ARE organs and they CAN get tired. I think this gets lost when people keep focussing on brain function as if it was not happening in a biological organ. But it IS and sometimes things like neurotransmitters or cell receptors, etc, can get out of whack and need something like drug treatment to restore a more normal balance for a particular patient.
The newer (introduced in the last decades) treatments and drugs offer real chances to get relief.
Don't give up...instead post on this thread and I'll write long winded reponses
Timmy - Lassie told me you have truble so I came to see if I could help. I've read your stuff and see the problem and I'm sorry what you feared would happen did. But 84 you have a long life ahead of you to do a bunch of things that are even more fun then what you were doing. I know some days (or most days) it is difficult to get up and do things but that's what you gotta do anyway ya know. Life happens! If you feel you need a therapist or similar then by all means seek that help out 84. If you can't afford it then use the county or city or whatever you have out there to get that help.
Most of all 84 just know that so many of us love and even like you. So you can't just poof into mid air. Who would we look forward to seeing then for gosh sakes. Yeah you are a great friend and I might even love you a little bit 84. So you take care of yourself and know that I and others are here for you.
Mickey, trust me onone thing. I do understand how you feel, and I am not going to lecture you about it. You've probably had enough of that anyhow. I've been there. I won't go into details in here about what put me there, but I was gobbling sleeping pills as fast as I could swallow a drink of water. I wanted to die so bad I could taste it, and I was alone.....until the neighbor walked in. She called the police, rescue squad and the whole 9 yards. I had 3 cops holding me down, cause I still had a handful of pills to go. Went through the stomach pumping all of that garbage. That was 41 years ago. I haven't tried it since, and when I had to stop work because of disability, I went through a well of depression, and still there to a degree.
I am now almost 65 years old, and have problems up the arse with pain and such. About the only thing I don't have yet is alzheimers, and if I get diagnosed with that, all bets are off. I am not going to remain here in a non functioning state with my mind gone. I put back enough of my meds where if I'm told I do have it, again,all bets are off.
So, yes, I can understand how you feel, all too well. I firmly believe that each person has the right to make that choice for themselves and that NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO INTERFERE!
I have a little dog that I dearly love, and he is getting old and sick. The humane thing to do is when the vet says he's worn out, to let him go. Why can we not take the humane decisions for ourselves>
I will and do help anyone any wayI can. My mind is so full of painful secrets from others that it hurts me.
84, you can't control how your family feels. I've adopted another family wherever I go just because of that. I have one Aunt and Uncle left that I have adopted as Mama and Daddy. Neighbors too. When all family fails, pour your energy into yourself, and if anyone calls you selfish because of it, tell them to take a hike.