MEET MY FRIEND NANCY
I wrote about Nancy on NV, I used the name "Joy" for her, now I am using her real name. She is in the room with me and I do have her permission; I would never do this otherwise.
When I first met Nancy, the day she moved in here, I looked at her and it broke my heart to see the pain in her eyes and face, and I didn't even know her! Her sister told me Nancy was crazy and if she couldn't handle living here on her own, she would put her in an assisted living facility. Now at the time, I had no idea who these people were, and here I have someone telling me this! As it turns out, Nancy is bi-polar, that's all!
In getting to know Nancy, I could understand the pain and fear I saw in her face and eyes. I grew up in an abusive household, but my life, compared to hers was like living in Disneyland! My lifewas perfect compared to hers.
When I am not feeling well, Nancy is here to be with me to do anything I need her to do. The weekend I went through hell with my feet and legs, she was here the whole time. I was out of my mind with pain, and she was here for me. We didn't talk a lot, but knowing she was here helped keep me from attempting suicide from the pain. That sounds ugly and pathetic, I guess; but it's the truth.
Nancy has been my lifeline through the rough times ever since she's been here. She is a wonderful, caring, loving and giving person. With the things she has been through, she has every right to be just the opposite, but she's not. I don't think I could be that good if I had gone through the same things she has.
She had never be allowed to be an adult, to do things on her own, to be her own person or to have a life. I told her she was over 50 and she was an adult and I expected her to act like one. I have pushed her to the point that she will stand up for herself, and to let me know if I say or do anything that hurts her, and she does. I pushed her to stand up for herself, because I didn't want people taking advantage of her or saying things to ther that would cause pain.
If ANYONE tries to have her locked away, I will fight tooth and nail for her. She doesn't deserve that, and I am humbled that she is my friend. She is such a good person, I wish each and every one of you reading this could know her the way I do and see the pure goodness in her. She is indeed "Joy" to me.
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What a beautiful story of friendship and devotion. I can't believe her family did that to her, just being bi-polar. How awful. At least she can have a normal life with you. That's all that matters now!
Yes, I agree with you, Perri. She also has diabetes, and I have nagged her and fussed at her to take better care of herself. When her sugar hits a low, she will come here because she is safe. I keep a bottle of syrup here, and will pour a couple of spoonsfull in her mouth, it brings her sugar back up and she can swallow it without a problem.
Someone gave me another laptopcomputer, and I am getting it set up for her. She wants to learn so bad, it reminds me of a starving person that is suddenly given food. She wants to play games on there and that's good, but she also wants to learn things that had been kept from her, she wants to educate herself and I think that is absolutely fantastic!
Thank you so much for reading and commenting.
Cool story. Thanks for sharing. I am glad you two have each other. Having a friend like her makes all the difference in the world - for both of you.
She sounds like a truly wonderful person!
Please give her my love and I will keep her in my prayers. Do you think she would like a camera? A little digital one to take pictures? My son has an extra camera, a decent starter camera... I can send it to her, if she would like it.
Finding beauty is a really good hobby to have and could bring her much joy!
She would LOVE that! I don't want to put heraddress on here, so will send it to you in a message on here.
I thank you very much for thinking of her, and I know she will too. That's the way she is, very grateful for any act of kindness shown to her.
Yes, Grump, it does. I am honored that she can and will tell me what has gone on in her life, the things she can't talk to her sister about. The sister that lives here in town is not someone I am comfortable being around, she treats Nancy like crap.
Oh, Dowser, that is so cool. Your generosity will make world of difference in a woman's life. This is going to be great fun for Susan and Nancy both. Grump sending thanks your way, Dowser.
My pleasure! Peep's camera is decent, not great. If it would help make Nancy happy, then it is the least I can do for her to thank her for her kindness to my friend.
Y'all, please don't let Nancy know who sent her a camera. She may come onto the site and not like me or something, and I would hate for her to feel obligated. There IS no obligation here-- just an open heart. There IS no motive here, other than to bring someone some joy...
It may be something that Susan and Nancy would enjoy doing together... I hope! Sometimes, looking through the lens of a camera, gives one a whole new perspective!
It makes you notice beauty that you would never have seen before.
Much love to all of you here, and thank you for your understanding.
Dowser, Nancy doesn't have hate in her heart, just sadness and disappointment from all that has been done to her before. She is so grateful for kindness shown to her that she doesn't think about mean things.
One of her sister's came up from further south a couple of days back and they have been spending time together. This one is not like the one that lives here in town, she's a good person, I think.
There is no way that anyone could NOT like you! Don't EVER think that.
You're right, Tink. She is on top of her meds and takes them just like she's supposed to. None of this "I feel better, so I don't need the drugs." She knows she needs them.
It amazes me that she is as good as she is with all that she's been through in her life. She could use that as an excuse to do anything she wants, but she knows that ultimately, SHE is in control, and she knows what she needs to do in order to keep that within her. Even my Roger is seeing the best of her, and he does everything he can to help to help her along the way. He thought I was being too harsh with her at first. Imagine that!
Anyhow, I am glad she is who and what she is. It reminds me of a flower blooming with her. Yes, I teach her, but she also teaches ME, and I am so glad for that.
A lovely story of two friends. Thank you so much for sharing about the both of you. Sending you my very best. I never knew her before, or you, but I feel I know something of you now, so thank you.
Sorry she believed all of that garbage in childhood. Yet grateful that she found you to help her through it, and as you say, it's been mutually rewarding.
The fact that mental illness remains an issue in our society is a disgrace.
Pain is pain. Friends make it bearable.
Kara, I feel like I have been really blessed from the time I met her. I have some wonderful friends, one from high school that I talk to at least once a week. She never talked trash to or about me when we were in school, she stuck up for me. I love her to this day for that. Two others in the building here that are distant cousins, and sisters, I know I can call on them if I need to talk, and one of them will do my laundry for me because I can't handle that anymore. I'd fightfor the three of them any day. They had rough times in their lives, but they admittedly have not been through the hell and torment that Nancy has. They know about part of it and are very supportive ofNancy.
I don't claim to be strong, but I can take up for and defend myself, and I am trying to show Nancy how to do that. She thinks I am her hero, and that is an humbling thing to hear, let me tell you.I am also not a doctor, but I do believe that Nancy is NOT bipolar, I think she has been hurt by the treatment she has had to deal with all her life. She may be bipolar, but I honestly don't believe that.
Labels by "family" in childhood are so destructive and usually smack of sibiling rivalry. Nancy may or may not be bi-polar, however it is none of her "sisters" business at this point.
It's so hard trying to outgrow family labels. Just go on loving Nancy. The world needs more of it (LOVE).
Hugs, dear Phuggy/Leotie. I do understand the struggle of daily life.
Your friend, Kara
Leotie, I have a next door neighbor friend that is Bi-Polar as well. The things you've said about Nancy are the same things she has gone through all her life. Yet she is the kindest, most loving person! People are too quick to judge, I think. They don't want to allow some to just be themselves. She asks me to teach her too, she never went past 8th grade, so she asks me to test her spelling, help her with grocery lists etc, she carries up my heavy groceries and laundry and helps me change my bed. We share dinner three or four nights a week. I really love her!It's really too sad!
Nookomis
I hope so, too!
That's the same way it is with Nancy! She just came in a few minutes ago and is busy making herself a cup of coffee.
She loves my cooking, and will eat about anything that I set in front of her, and I make sure it is healthy for her. It doesn't hurt me to eat healthier, either.
I've talked to her about that and she is willing to do it. She says she can't type very fast, but I told her no one would be able to read it till she hit the send button. She is still learning, and I think she should have the nick of "Sponge", as she absorbs EVERY BIT of knowledge she can.