Contentment…Satisfy THIS
Contentmentwhat exactly is that? How do we quantify it? How do we define it? How do we measure it? Is contentment a feelingan emotion? What provides us with a sense of contentment? Does contentment equate to resignationquitting, good enough? Is contentment an overall feeling, or is it specific to certain areas of our lives? What feeds or generates contentment? What erodes contentment? Is contentment a state of minda state of being? Is contentment simply a temporary fleeting feeling? Is contentment defined by the lack of need or want? Is contentment defined by the lack of will, ambition or desire? If I am driven, motivated and ambitiouscan I experience contentment? If I am content, then am I not trying or working hard enough to improve?
How much is enough? We live in a feel-good instant gratification society obsessed with consumption. That has become our defined role in the global market place. Our rate of consumption drives our national economy and the economies of the world. We work hard for our comfortsweve earned them, we deserve them, we need them, we want them and we want em NOW. We live in a use and pitch disposable society. Our products are engineered to fail about the time the manufactures warranty expires, and the cost to repair is affixed high enough to discourage repairwhich promotes greater consumption, sales and profit. Things are not built to last anymore. There is no profit in reliability and longevity.
The mantra is new and improved, better and more. Planned obsolescence. This years new gadget becomes last years eight track. Nothing lasts. This same product mentality is carried over into business, our leisure time and our relationships. Marketing is designed to stimulate our emotions to generate want. Our products are designed to create want. Our tastes are manipulated to create want. Our values are influenced to createwant and need. How much is enough?
How much stuff do we need to have before we have enough? How much money do we need to make before we have enough? How much profit do we need to make before we have enough? Invariably, we tend to defer leisure, time with our families and enjoying friends and life until we feel we have acquired enoughbut WHO feels that? Most of us are working harder, longer hours with BOTH parents in the workforce in order to support the life-style and stuff to which we have become accustomed. Chasing the great American dream and the illusion of wealth and prosperity.
We spend more time with co-workers then we do with our families. The obligatory vacations become a five to ten day sprint. They become so structured with places to go and things to do, people to seemany feel a sense of relief when they can get back to work. Where is the enjoyment in that? The planning, budgeting, making reservations, packing catching flights, driving, unpacking and packing up throwing down food on the runweve acquired a perverse idea of fun and relaxation. It becomes stress upon compounded stress. Then youve got to work HARDER and longer hours to pay off the accumulated credit card debt incurred during vacation. But we hadda great vacation didnt we? Yeah
We spend our weekends either getting caught up on all the projects and things that need fixing that have been patiently waiting for our time and attention, or collapsed on the couch. Our relationships become a means to an enddisposable when difficult or new and better shows up. And this becomes our treadmill lifeweek in and week out. Year after year. The associated stress and job/economic uncertainties eat us up from the inside out.
Is it any wonder why Lilly has made sooooo much money with Prozac? We need it to keep from ripping out each others throats; weve become a medicated society and this has become typical and normalized. WE have become the expendable commodity. Usem up an pitchmemployees (men/women) are dime a dozen. Theres plenty more where you came from. We need more from yer departmentan were not replacing the three that we lost last month. We arent meeting our projected goals for this month. We arent meeting our record profits of last year. GO GO GO!!!
How much profit is enough? How much stuff is enough? How much stress is enough? How much entertaining and entertainment is enough? How many work hours are enough? How much income is enough? How much production is enough? How much affection is enough? How many friends are enough? How much effort is enough? How many sacrifices are enough? How much overtime is enough? How many meetings are enough? How much family time is enough? How much living space is enough? How much pain is enough? How many vehicles are enough? How much sex is enough? How many toys are enough? How much kissing ass is enough? How much compromise is enough? How much abuse is enough?
How much Time is enough? Ask someone this question on their death bedtheir mortality and eminent end staring them in the face. It is the people who have lived their lives to the fullest and found contentment in what they have, what theyve done and who theyve become, who say... Its a good day to die.
Each of these questions comes open ended and with a question? As individuals and as a society, we struggle to find the answers. Many dont bother to look, instead become consumed and twisted by their insatiable desires. Enough becomes a slippery fish, an illusive image that changes with income, debt and age. There are always trade-offs to our answers. What is it that we are trading off?
Could it possibly be our sense of contentment? I suppose it depends on how we each define contentment and enough. And if we cant define enoughhow can we possibly define or experience contentment?
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Are you content...?
As long as I have food, shelter, and something to do with my time I am content.
When these get threatened, I get antsy.
I left the real world of 8 to 5, or 6, or 10... in 2007 and moved to Missouri to be with with some very wonderful older people who needed some help managing their property. At that point I was very secure, but poor in the sense of having money. In 2010 I came back to New York to help my father through the last stages of his battle with cancer, and I stayed in the same relative location because I have two wonderful little nieces who are here, and I joined a band.
Needing something to do to make money, I started sub-contracting for a friend. Flash forward, I am not so secure in the moment as I was in MO. I feel better about some aspects of my life, but others, like money, not so much.
I feel that humanities relationship with money is fundamentally flawed. We think of money as the end all, be all. Money, material goods, possession for possessions' sake. We don't need all of the stuff that we seem to want to need. And then, we hit a recession, schools are out first to be downsized.
I was a teacher in an inner city school of the working poor. I used to teach my 7th grade class about the differences between wants and needs as part of the "Home Ec" class. We would brainstorm on the blackboard what they felt were wants and needs. Puffer Jackets, high end sneakers, and gameboys would show up as needs. I wasappalled. I couldn't figure out if it was keeping up with the Jones, orcommercialism.
Then yesterday, I watched Warren Buffet talk about being rich. He lived in a nice home, but hardly a mansion. He drove himself around in a 5 year old Caddy. He ate lunch at Mc Donalds. He was very happy living this way. But then again, he has nothing to worry about either. Still one could say that he understood the difference between wants and needs.
Time is the one thing that I think we don't get enough of. We work endlessly until we are too old to enjoy the fruits of our working years. Freedom is a wonderful thing. Warren can have that. I am sure that adds to his happiness.
So for the big question: am Icontent. First of all, I think that contentment is an internal mechanism for an individual. I think that it comes fromappreciatingwhat you have and having the ability to look at those who have far less and recognize how lucky you are. It's not taking things for granted and knowing that you have madeachievements, even if they are not things. It comes from not measuring yourself to other people, but to your own personal best.
For the most part, I am very content.
Thanks Robert!
Well thought out. Nice
Iabsolutelyconcur. But the problem is that they didn't even have the concept that these wants were not truly needs, while you, I and Warren Buffet can. Had these kids grown up in a poor area of Africa or India, they would have a far different concept. It is the fact that our society has blurred these lines that I find distressing.
Again I concur, but they are not really a measure of success or contentment. It is thisskewedconcept of what is important that actually brings very little in the way of contentment. My students didn't understand the meaning of delayed gratification. When I would tell them that they would be more successful getting an education in the long run, they couldn't see the value in it, until I told them what an education had brought me. It was only when I told them that it wouldyieldthem jobs that paid more, that they translated that into getting more, not that it would bring them contentment in theirachievement.
I totally agree again. We are to some degree a victim of our circumstances. Yet sometimes the people with the least, have a very high contentmentquotient. Once food and shelter has been met, they find happiness in their relationships with others. A recent study of happiness, found Latin America was the happiest, despite of economics.
Absolutely true.
I'm not so convinced that this is political Robert. I know unhappyRepublicansand Democrats and many of them are upper class and have everything that they could ever want. But they never stop wanting and if you only look up and never look down, then you can't be happy for what you have, only unhappy for what you don't have.
The union guy sitting at home watching his big screen TV is seeing "The Kardashians", "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous", "LXNY"...and rich sport figures that spend more than they make. It's not real life, yet it is portrayed as normal. Kind of hard not to have a pity party after seeing their lives.
And somehow.. and I may be wrong, I think that this article went off topic into politics.
Funny that you said Argentina, since they are the number 1 happiest nation in Latin America.
I know what I mean. It's such anintangibleyet very real.
Robear...!!!
....aaaaaaand?
Broliver...
Thank you for providing your thoughts.
true. Our society is bombarded with advertising...both obvious and innocuous. I truly believe this impacts our desires and blurs our sense of 'want' vs 'need'. Also, woven into this marketing blitz is our molded perception of what constitutes "value".
We are lead to believe that we are lacking and in 'need' of whatever it is that is being "sold". The commodity being sold can be anything from safety, security, luxuries, glamor, fitness fixes, body types, food, gadgets and gizmos to cars and life-style. Of course, by spending money, we can "fix' or resolve these perceived deficiencies.
My experience has been...there never seems to be "enough" (whatever) to fill that void of perceived lacking or need. Wanting and perceived 'need' drives consumption in an attempt to FILL that perceived need...but it never seems to be "enough". It seems like we all come up short and "wanting" more.
In general, more equates to tangible 'things' in our attempts to fill that void of "need". This perception creates a constant nagging feeling of lacking and "not enough" or not good enough. Consequently...few feel satisfaction, the sense of accomplishment and inner peace associated with "contentment".
Ahhhhh...Robear. Yer back. Good.
Yes, you are right. Europeans in general, have a much greater appreciation for leisure time and 'holiday' compared to the prevailing North American attitude. Taking holiday and engaging in leisure time is also supported by business, unlike here in the US. Holiday equates to having months of leisure time as opposed to having mere days here. But as you mention...there are trade-offs, and those trade-offs are productivity, GNP, tax revenue an personal income.
As long as citizens are 'content' with trade-offs associated with being "civilized"...there shouldn't be a problem.
Robert...
Miss Perrie is right, this isn't a "political" article.
But that said, the American people ARE played by BOTH parties with their question about "Are you better off now then before?" It instills a sense of 'lacking' in the populous. "Better off" is subjective and put into perspective in relation to other people or the past. What is being "sold" is the possibility of a 'better' future, financial security and/or a sense of safety. This instilled subliminal sense of 'lacking' implants discontent and what motivates the voters to vote for (buy) the particular candidate being championed.
Miss Perrie...
...it's a combination of BOTH. Media on all levels, constantly convey "value" and 'values'. The message of value and values are targeted to specific demographics, depending on the mode (apps, TV, radio, internet) and geographic locations.
Enough, and I might add..."value" to the above statement. Your following statements about Buffet in relation to the kids you taught brings this to light. To inner city kids, 'bling' equates to prestige, power and wealth...these things are important. These things have 'value' to their family, friends and peers. Those are things in which they feel lacking, which fuels discontent and want/need.
Weeellll yes an no Miss Perrie...
As with Robert's political comment, by creating a sense of "lacking" instills a sense of need/want. This sense of lacking (real or perceived) becomes a motivating factor to "buy" a product, a candidate or "buy into" a concept like we need greater profits or acquiring "The American Dream".
Robert...it would appear you have been 'sold' the reality that everyone hates the rich. That financial inequality equates to justice and fairness. That one political party is better or worse then another (depending on your affiliation). That our 'vote' actually means something. That there are those WITH and those WITHOUT, and those without are undeserving and always have their hand out...better/worse, right/wrong. There is no such thing as "enough" or "too much" fairness, wealth, profit, security, safety_____fill in the blank.
Your apparent discontentment seems to stem from the belief that we are all on a level playing field with equal opportunity to acquire...whatever. If you can acquire, good fer you. If you can't (for whatever reason) acquire...too bad so sad. Life is about "we/them". What seems to be 'lacking' is fairness, justice and right to entitlement. Either the right of entitlement by the poor requesting a piece of the pie, or the right of entitlement of the wealthy to keep the pie to themselves.
So where is "contentment" in all of this?
Forgive me Robert, ah'm still gittin used to how the mechanics work here. Comments seem to bounce up and down an around, and thaa is probably MY error.
I tend to agree Robert. Our media plays a huge part in how political information is presented, with the intent to create discontent and adversarial discourse. I believe not only did ah defend your association to politics, but also responded to it.
Thanks for the kind words Robear...
True...I don't see 'happiness' and 'contentment' as necessarily having the same meaning or context. Certainly, happiness can play into contentment, but I think it's quite possible to be 'content' without necessarily being 'happy'.
Alternate meanings used to describe "Contentment" could be inner peace, a calmness, resignation, acceptance, gratitude, appreciation, resolve, good enough, and satisfaction...or a combination thereof...
Legion...
Again, ah think "happiness" and "contentment" have different meanings and context. With that said...ah think the meaning and context of both happiness and contentment are hugely influenced by our culture and environment. Both happiness and contentment are defined according to our value set, which in turn is greatly influenced by our culture and environment.
Which is why I think, at least it evidences itself more so in the US, that societies relationship with money is flawed. We seem to have the whole thing backwards. Why were labor saving devices invented? Well, besides the fact that someone wanted to make money off of them, which is not bad in and of itself, they were invented because if you don't have to spend time laboring, that time is freed up for something else, like leisure.But somehow, that time got co-opted. The more time saving devices, the more time we should have been saving, but the less time we seemed to have to follow leisurely pursuits because the bar was being raised as what one was expected to accomplish, needed to accomplish, just to get by.
In American society today, there is an ethos of money, the culture revolves around how much you make. Just look at the relative valuation placed on a stay at home parent versus an, I dunno, a CEO.The CEO is thought to have great worth because he can bring in great amounts of money and thereby receives large monetary compensation and is lauded in the society as being somehow a better person. The stay at home parent, on the other hand, is not seen as being vitally important. Child rearing is seen as necessary by society, as something that should be done (and quite often those who do it are criticized for not doing it well) but since it procures no monetary reward, it is seen as lowly and often looked askance at.
This, to me, represents one of the largest examples of backwards thought in America today. The raising of our children is put down almost as an afterthought, looked at as almost a necessary evil, something that should be done but not compensated because, well just because. People wail and gnash their teeth when a child or group of children get killed, but they have a disconnect when someone has troubles in school because they haven't enough to eat or to buy school supplies or new clothes to keep up with the in crowd... And who Takes the Blame? The parents. Not the society that is telling them that they must look a certain way, not the society that gives them a check while simultaneously telling them they are not worth it.Not the society that says we need a new football stadium, but damn those teachers and their unions, they are making us go broke.
Really?
Thank you for the kind words Legion...ah'm glad it has relevance to you.
"Balance" certainly seems to be a factor in finding "contentment".
You are not alone...our materialistic society seems to thrive on discontent.
I don't think most people have the "goal" to be 'content'. Quite the contrary. I think we are taught, manipulated and motivated by creating 'discontent'. Implanting the idea that if you are "content" then you are somehow lazy and unmotivated to achieve more and better...I believe this is a myth...a marketing/motivating illusion. I've found it's quite possible to have goals and aspirations, yet be "content" with where I am and with what I have.
Totally concur. Our 'goals and accomplishments are merely milestones along our chosen path. I think we find a sense "contentment", satisfaction, self-worth and self-esteem as we attain those milestone goals and life achievements.
Ah suspect your context around "contentment" is colored (contaminated) by your understanding the actual meaning of this word. Our values and culture, (propaganda) shape our understanding and meanings of words. It would appear that your context surrounding "contentment" equates to simply being 'satisfied' or resigned to the existing status quo, squelching the desire to achieve anything more or improved. Above, ah alluded to a different perspective/context/meaning of the word.
Ah git this...but as I mentioned in the article, ones perspective and definition changes relative to age, wealth, debt. Speaking for myself...legacy and immortality has become less important to me as ah've grown older. This may result from the ripples of our actions as we walk our path in life...but for me...it's no longer a focus or 'goal'. The same is true for the pursuit of wealth and notoriety. Who knows...it may happen as a bi-product of what ah do, but it's certainly not a motivating factor for what ah do, or one of my focused 'goals'. In my humble opinion...it becomes a set up and reason for "discontent" and disappointment.
Ah concur..."life is an adventure". It's also evident by your comment above, that you have 'sacrificed' alot in the process. There IS freedom in forsaking the trappings associated with the pursuit of a "materialistic" life. Forsaking relationships in the process, I believe, impairs and impedes our growth and learning. But thas jus me...
This statement validates what ah've said above about our changing perspective as it relates to age, wealth and debt. A simple word of advice my friend...hang onto living life as an "adventure". Don't give that up...life truly IS an adventure! If you find that your life has become too predictable, you need to alter your path such that it doesn't become a "paint-by-number life. You will loose yourself and yer path if you don't.
Ah don't believe in Santa Clause, but ah DO believe in the power of anonymous selfless giving. "Accomplishments" in and of themselves become devoid of meaning and become temporary band-aid fixes in our desperate attempt to fill the void/need to find meaning, satisfaction, contentment and happiness.
It's difficult to experience lasting happiness and joy without an understanding of "contentment".
It's been a pleasure sharing thoughts...
Robear...
no...not quite. It becomes a recognition and acceptance of what IS. Depending on the needs of the individual, this may or may not be coupled with the hope/desire to make things 'better'.
Robear...
...true da
Sour grapes!
I have been saying this for quite some time now: divest from multinational and national corporations and invest in local and regional businesses. Our society is still infected with the need to be busy (productive) at all times, and one who does not remain busy is seen as lazy and not pulling his weight. I do not necessarily agree with this characterization. I think that we have passed the time where we all need to run around like ants laying in for winter. I do not think that laying around all of the time is good, but I do think that working like dogs just to pay the rent is obscene. What is more, I think that working like a dog when you do not really need to is obscene, also.
I think that the work week could be cut down to 30 hrs. a week. If you want to work more than that, go for it, but that should be the Standard for a full time position.
I think that there is a middle ground that can be achieved between the capitalistic fervor of today's society and some less strenuous ideal. But, of course, I realize this is all just noise.
Short answer: Unemployment rate and the number of hours to be considered fully employed.
oh...ok, as you wish...Bob. Ah wuz jus light-heartedly speaking with my French accent...no offense or disrespect intended.
So "retired" and "contentment" mean the same to you. Retirement is simply a statement about your work status. What is it about your "retirement" work status that provides you with a sense of contentment and how does that 'feel'...?
Mickey the Mouse is inda HOUSE...!!! All rise...
...sorry Mickey...Timey dondo 'ditto'. Ya gotta expound iffin ya wanna play.
How does "retirement" (work status) correlate to the feeling of "contentment"....?
...sour grapes...??? Is this 'code' for discontentment...?
Broliver...
Excellent example of a marketing myth. However, it jus created the situation where we are expected to do more with the 'Time' we "saved". As a result, our lives have become more hectic and complex as you aptly point out. I can see where this might cause "discontent".
Your train of thought revolves around money and tangible/intangible 'value'...a different topic entirely. How does this correlate to "contentment"? Are you trying to say that a person's worth or relative 'value', or self worth defines one's sense of 'contentment'?
Mickey...
Would you say that "contentment", like happiness is transient...fleeting moments?
Sour Grapes ...
My two word assessment of Robert G's rants.
"Contentment" like every state-of-mind is situational rather than attainable and permanent. Assuming that human beings are the only organisms that can contemplate an entity called "The Future," we are thus ever both the victims and beneficiaries of cause-and-effect, real or imagined.
And we can be simultaneously content with some aspects of our lives while being apprehensive and speculative about others.
Reality is neither black nor white nor even a single palette entity; it is complex, not totally knowable nor are we, even to ourselves.
I think much of the equation lies right there. If we are to even look at our own individual valuations, they are hard to cipher. Every one of us assign value from the moment we first pop into the world and of course are greatly influenced by our environment. What I find so interesting are nearly identical folks with almost the exact same advantages or obstacles, yet making drastically different choices. Even with extreme variations, humans seem topartakebeyond our needs, and that same desire seems to beinextricablylinked with a strong urge/desire/instinct to strive for more and more life all the time.
For me, being home safe on a very stinkin' cold winterevening; I'm satisfied to be warm, and full of supper. My pups have sleepy grins on their mugs andmammais warming up bed.
:~)
Nice article TL
Rather profound.
Knowing what is important and being able to do something about it ... that is what give people a purpose in life . If they succeed in doing that something they attain contentment ... briefly at least .
It takes the living to give meaning to life. I always hated the question , "Why are we here?" Go out and find a reason, make it up if it suits you.
Knowing what is important and being able to do something about it ... that is what give people a purpose in life . If they succeed in doing that something they attain contentment
Which is why the people who set the small goals along the way to the larger seem to be happier than the ones with the grand aspirations but not to get to them.