Life is the Sound of Distant Thunder at a Graduation
So it's the day my daughters graduation. A moment I had been both looking forward to and feeling a bit blue about. My little shrews had finally gotten their wings. Did I say shrews out loud? .. I meant loving daughters... sorry, that must have been the wine talking. But even though they can be shrews.. they are my shrews and the thought of them leaving us,l eaves me with a flood of emotions. But I digress...
It was supposed to be a lovely first day of summer here on Long Island... translate that to mean 93 degrees and 90 percent humidity. I have all my hair weapons on hand to prevent the frizz that will happen as I walk outside the door. But after I have done my magic in the bathroom, and I look as good as a girl who just turn 52 is going to look without a trip to the plastic surgeon, I step out of the bathroom to hear what I think is distant thunder...
I thought of author W. H. Auden's quote: "Death is the sound of distant thunder at a picnic." When I first read that line in one of Auden's poems many years ago, the meaning eluded me, but suddenly on graduation day, it had such clarity. For what is a graduation, but a big picnic of a sort... So I looked at the sky and it just looks hazy... yet again.. I think I hear thunder...
So I yell down to Matt to check the local weather channel and see if we are expecting a storm. He reports up, "No, that's later today. 5 min later, the skies are black and Matt and I are yelling up to the girls, who are glued to their respective mirrors quaffing, to move the arses out the door before the rain. Just as we made the car, the sky opened and sheets of rain started to come down, along with lighting hitting things that we could actually see. The girls, sophisticated woman of the world that they are, started to scream like 5 year olds, and I'm thinking as I tell them to cool it... this isn't good. We drive very slowly through the rivers that were just streets a few minutes ago, to the college campus where the graduation is taking place. The storm that wasn't supposed to be, has gotten even worse, and now I can see lightning hitting in the parking lot. Of course, this paralyzes all of the families stuck in their cars. All these people had to get into the building come hell or high water... in this case both, and so we all started to wade through the ankle high water, I in my brand new shoes. Matt goes to park the car.
Now Matt is a different animal to moi. His parents should have named him Felix Unger. He got out of the car and seeing the river before him that he had to cross to get into the building bends down to roll up his pants, making him invisible due to the sheets of rain. The obvious question remains why his soaking wet back doesn't bother him, but wet pant bottoms would, but hey why ask questions? He bent over to take off his shoes, when a car just barely missed hitting him...
The horrified driver jumps out of the car, to see if he had actually hit Matt, and who is it? Jeff Sunshine. Now that name might sound vaguely familiar here to some of our vegan friends, since Debby Sunshine is his wife, is a member of this group, and oh yeah, my close friend. Jeff is visibly shaken, but the weather has made it an imperative to get in, and so Matt is totally unaware of how close he had come to getting hit.
Again, death is the sound of distant thunder at a picnic.
So we all start to find our seats now running over a half hour late, due to the weather, when we hear a bang, and suddenly... black. The auditorium's power has just gone out. No lights, no amps for the PA and NO AIR CONDITIONING! A few minutes later, the emergency generator kicks in and we have dim lights and some power for the PA, but no AC. Decisions must be made about what to do, to carry on or not. The powers that be decide to do away with all the speeches, (thank the heavens for that, literally), and to just go ahead with the graduation. I sit there in my soaking wet shoes, listening to the girls best friend, Danny, who is also class president and Valedictorian, give a beautiful speech to the class. He tells them, that after 13 years of being together, that this will be the last time in their lives that they will all be together in one place. He tells them that this event is another thing that they will be able to cross off the "Bucket List of Life". I choke up, as this observation is both profound as it is true. The class of 2012 is announced to the audience and we go back out to our car, and bump into Jeff and have him recount how close he came to whacking Matt. We make light of it, with Jeff promising to leave his business card on Matt's body next time. After all, he is a lawyer. Then we're off to dinner.
We are all sitting in the restaurant. We're all having a wonderful time toasting and eating and suddenly there is a lull in the conversation. I look at my mother in law, who is in treatment for pancreatic cancer and at my dad, who ended up in hospital with pancreatitis, and I wonder is "Death is the sound of distant thunder at a picnic" or is life one long "Bucket List" or are they all really the same thing? Or am I getting way to intense, due to this big life transition?
But in any case, as I squish around in my shoes and clothes in a now very cold air conditioned room and the one thing I am sure of is if there is a god, I must be his punch line. Seriously. I have given this much contemplation and I'm pretty sure he looks at me and laughs. But hey, I am sure he does the same thing to most of you from time to time. At least we're all at this picnic together.
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Just think of the more useful perspective you have acquired because of Matt's near miss . Intead of obsessing about your soon-to-be empty nest status , you have something to be thankfuk for ... but what do I know ?
Thanks Max. I hope it wasn't too long!
All, so true Feronia.
That old saying that youth is wasted on the young is true. When I hear the girls talk or when they talk to me, I remember thinking the same things. Being so sure that I was right. Then suddenly your 40, and not only do you realize how clueless you were, but how wonderful it was to be that clueless.
Matt surviving the day... well that was relative...and when I say that, I mean the relatives, LOL!
So True Rich! Jeff was pretty thankful himself. I have a friend who did kill a person in anaccident, and it is not something easily recovered from for all involved.
That distant thunder thingy. You know the second time I ever read that quote was on the Vine. E.D. Kain (Erik Kain) had it as his tagline. It shocked me for a moment, since I had never heard anyone ever say it to me since reading it. But if anyone would know it, it would be Erik. He's an amazing writer, and I am so glad happy for him that he now writes for Forbes.
Perrie,
This is your calling.
One of the best personal blog/stories I've read in a long while. Props to you; really just some fantastic writing.
And much kudos to you Matt and the girls!This is definitely a " team" effort and much deservedcongratulations.
Oh, and btw; your consideredresponseto this event...the distant thunder only grows more ominous as they get older andfurtherfrom the nest...:~)
The Yiddish proverb "Man plans, God laughs" (Mann traoch, Gott Lauch).
Thanks Mike for the compliment. I used to do more of this on NV, but I didn't think I had much of an audience for this here.
I can tell that you are talking from experience. Frankly, that doesn't surprise me... I'm already fretting over their college days. I told them that they better not study beingastronauts (something my old man told me). Perplexed at that comment they asked me to explain myself. I told them that I didn't want them to "take up space" in college. I hope they got the message.
Mac,
Tell me about it. I have a hunch he's been having a huge giggle looking at me.
Thanks Bruce! I am very proud of the girls. They eat my heart out as daughters would, but they have beenbasically good girls, when it comes to the important things. Matt perplexes everyone, but he's a good guy in the ways that he should be... so I ignore his otherwise strange behavior, LOL.
Nice article, it made me think of these verses.
Ecclesiastes 3
A Time for Everything
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
9 What does the worker gain from his toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on men. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. 13 That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toilthis is the gift of God.
14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.
Ecclesiastes 12:
13 Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the whole duty of man.
These are just a few insights to ourpurpose and the goodness of God. I hope this helps, Iencourage you to search more andponder the scriptures.
I believe that is Larry H.
LOL!
Yup!
No way... you were just The Dictator Mike... Larry would never be a Dictator.
Thank you very much Arch Man!
That happens to be one of my favorite passages from the Old Testament or Torah, which ever is applicable.
It is very true about life.
NopeI amno dictator. Besides, who would take a dog drinking beer serious as a dictator anyways!?
:~)
Your funny!
OMG.. It is you, Larry! This group has me utterly confused. Sorry about the mix up and thanks again!
Arch,
You were right... That is Larry! Gosh, I have to keep up with things around here!
LOL, everybody else was having fun with their avatar and such , so hey why not?!
Yes, it's true!! My husband almost hit Matt who was rolling up his pants in the middle of the road. Thank goodness he saw Matt at the last minute!!! I was at the same graduation for my elder son. What a scene!!! But eventually the rainy skies turned to rainbows which is the true beauty of life!!!
See, this is why I find you a joy and I'm glad were friends!
BTW, her son is smart and handsome. I'll brag for her.
OMG, Perrie!! You are quite generous!!!! Thank you!!! I'm glad we're friends too!!!