Ben's Father's Day Rant
I know that some folks haven't been as lucky as I have been to have had their Father around. Mine was there most times, except when he was deployed. I realize that some people have lost their Father and he has passed on. I'm sorry you didn't get more time with him. Mine passed 13 years ago this December and I wished I had have had more time.
I also realize that some Father's left their children, never to return. Others have Fathered children and the children have never known their Fathers for whatever reason. If you do not have your Father, no matter what the reason,I'm sorry. I wish I could change it. I'm truly sorry for what you missed.
However, even if you are one whose Mother's did "double duty," I must ask you to celebrate her on HER day, not Father's Day.
Think about it. There are many who have lost their Mothers. Perhaps their Mothers passed on or maybe their Mothersabandoned them. Do we now share Mother's Day with these Fathers who have done "double duty?"
If we do (which would be only fair, given the signs above), we now have created two genderneutral days to celebrate our parental units - which ever gender they maybe. BUT WAIT! What about those who have been raised by Grandparents? What about those who lived in an orphanage? What if they were raised by an Aunt or an Uncle? Do we just ignore Mother's Day and Father's Day to make one day to celebrate our guardian, whoever that maybe? Why not, if we are going to mix Mothers into Father's Day and Fathers into Mother's Day?
I realize I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed. But, I do know that if you had a single parent raise you, then you want to show them yourappreciation. Great, they already have a day for them and you can pick many more days to show them. But why tell them Happy Father's Day if they are your Mother?
Consider this: if you want to "doubly" appreciate your mother by telling her "Happy Father's Day," you need to remember that their is a reason she pulled double duty. At the very least, your Mother was your Father's lover. If they married, she was his husband. As is many cases, perhaps she was hisfriend. And no matter what the case of why your Father is/was not there, it is a reminder to your Mother of her loss as well as yours. Do you really want to appreciate her by possibly hurting her?
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Really wonderful and thoughtful piece, Ben... but then again, I have grown to expect that from you.
As a parent, and who's mom raised her because dad wasn't around much, ( he is a great dad and grand-dad, now that he's around), remembering who ever it is who took care of you... was there for you during the fun and the hard, the good and the bad, should be remembered every day of the year, and not just on one....
But at least remember them for that one special day a year, which ever it is that you choose.
You get a gold star and 1 like!
Thank you Perrie. I had been enjoying a very good Father's Day when I caught these signs coming across my wall on Facebook and it just got me to thinking.
I'm willing to bet Ben wasn't expecting that comment ...
Actually, I did figure he would say that and I can't say I disagree or blame him. I feel the same way at times.
You sound torn on this issue ...
Well, I'm for women'sequality and I get that some Mom's pull double duty. Yet, you don't see anyone celebrating Father's that pull double duty, not even on other days outside of Mother's Day. So....where is the equality?
[[So....where is the equality? ]]
From my POV all of the "leeway" is given to women . Father's real contribution is said to be minimimal even if not .
Actually, I just watched how now more than ever, dads are making the choice to stay at home and raise the kids... something that they are very glad that they are now allowed to do, without society saying that they are sissy men.
Honestly, I think it's almost an impossible task to do both well, but sometimes, life doesn't give us a choice.
As for equality... I'm glad to just be treated like a human, no more or less.
Yes, Perrie. Everyone should be, but for some reason it always seems that someone is trying to make "equality" into one being better then another. Some even use the excuse that since one race, one gender, etc. was put down, they need to be put above to make it even out in the long run or make up for it. However, that just breeds contempt and never works. Equal means equal...