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Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses Brawl Trying to Get to Refugees First

  

Category:  The Lighter Side/ Humor

Via:  kavika  •  8 years ago  •  18 comments

Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses Brawl Trying to Get to Refugees First

Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses Brawl Trying to Get to Refugees First


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MONTREAL — An unbrotherly brawl broke out at Pierre Elliot Trudeau Airport this afternoon as two religious groups punched, elbowed, and hair-pulled each other trying to get a minute of a refugee family’s time.

And the new Canadian family was startled and confused.

“I saw one woman pull a man to the ground by his nostrils,” the family’s 31-year-old mother of two told the Gazette.

Refugees-Arrive-Montreal-Sized.jpghttp://thelapine.narkomanija.ba/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Refugees-Arrive-Montreal-Sized.jpg 500w" alt="Refugees-Arrive-Montreal-Sized" width="500" height="281">

“And two young men were beating another man on the head with their books,” said the wide-eyed woman.

“At first we thought all the shoving and wrestling on the floor was some form of welcome we are not familiar with. We thought we should clap to show our thanks.”

“But some people had bleeding noses and one woman was swinging a cane and hitting everyone in the legs.”

“I did not read this about Canadians in any of the information .”

Montreal-Police-Scooter-Sized.jpghttp://thelapine.narkomanija.ba/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Montreal-Police-Scooter-Sized.jpg 500w" alt="Montreal-Police-Scooter-Sized" width="500" height="281">

Montreal Police Service (Service de police de la Ville de Montréal) officers told the Gazette that 7 people were treated at the scene for minor injuries. Paramedics said that one man had a handful of teeth knocked out by a flung copy of The Book of Mormon and a woman was treated for dizziness after being struck on the head by a briefcase full of Watchtower magazines .

“It appears that a group of young Mormon missionaries sprinted up to the international arrivals gate and found that a group of Jehovah’s Witnesses had already claimed the best spots for converting refugees…sorry, the best greeting areas,” said Staff Sergeant Sanju Singh.

“Words were exchanged followed by some shoving and jostling before all hell…several fights broke out.”

Jehovahs-Couple-Sized.jpghttp://thelapine.narkomanija.ba/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Jehovahs-Couple-Sized.jpg 500w" alt="Jehovahs-Couple-Sized" width="500" height="311">

The young refugee family reportedly shielded their children’s ears from “rude swear words” shouted by both groups before the father, mother, and two daughters were whisked away from the fighting by volunteers.

Singh said charges are pending against four Mormons and two Jehovah’s Witnesses, including one found in possession of marijuana.

“I’ve never seen church people duke it out before,” bystander Guy Nault told CTV.

“I’d a bet on all those young Mormon guys but man they got their wholesome butts handed to them by those old Jehovahs. Hilarious.”

“That refugee family must be thinking, man, these Canadians are some kinda strange people.”

William Yum
Reportering for The Lapine


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Kavika
Professor Principal
link   seeder  Kavika     8 years ago

Canada's version of the ''Onion''.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   Perrie Halpern R.A.    8 years ago

Ya know.....

Good one Kavika

 

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
link   seeder  Kavika   replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A.   8 years ago

Jews and Indians are completely innocent on this one. winking

Well Bernie may have been involved as a ''money changer''.

 
 
 
sixpick
Professor Quiet
link   sixpick    8 years ago

Do you think he was really bound for New Orleans?

 

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
link   seeder  Kavika   replied to  sixpick   8 years ago

He was Six, just using a different route.

 
 
 
PJ
Masters Quiet
link   PJ    8 years ago

the father, mother, and two daughters were whisked away from the fighting by volunteers.

Later on it was discovered that the volunteers were Christians in disguise.  "The police are out in force looking for the family" reported Staff Sergeant Sanju Singh but admitted that the Christians are a cunning bunch.  "We may never find them". 

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
link   seeder  Kavika   replied to  PJ   8 years ago

They are on the ''lamb'', so to speak.

 
 

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