The Irrationality of Alcoholics Anonymous
J.G. is a lawyer in his early 30s. Hes a fast talker and has the lean, sinewy build of a distance runner. His choice of profession seems preordained, as he speaks in fully formed paragraphs, his thoughts organized by topic sentences. Hes also a worriera big onewho for years used alcohol to soothe his anxiety.
J.G. started drinking at 15, when he and a friend experimented in his parents liquor cabinet. He favored gin and whiskey but drank whatever he thought his parents would miss the least. He discovered beer, too, and loved the earthy, bitter taste on his tongue when he took his first cold sip.
His drinking increased through college and into law school. He could, and occasionally did, pull back, going cold turkey for weeks at a time. But nothing quieted his anxious mind like booze, and when he didnt drink, he didnt sleep. After four or six weeks dry, hed be back at the liquor store.
By the time he was a practicing defense attorney, J.G. (who asked to be identified only by his initials) sometimes drank almost a liter of Jameson in a day. He often started drinking after his first morning court appearance, and he says he would have loved to drink even more, had his schedule allowed it. He defended clients who had been charged with driving while intoxicated, and he bought his own Breathalyzer to avoid landing in court on drunk-driving charges himself.
In the spring of 2012, J.G. decided to seek help. He lived in Minnesotathe Land of 10,000 Rehabs, people there like to sayand he knew what to do: check himself into a facility. He spent a month at a center where the treatment consisted of little more than attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. He tried to dedicate himself to the program even though, as an atheist, he was put off by the faith-based approach of the 12 steps, five of which mention God. Everyone there warned him that he had a chronic, progressive disease and that if he listened to the cunning internal whisper promising that he could have just one drink, he would be off on a bender.
J.G. says it was this messagethat there were no small missteps, and one drink might as well be 100that set him on a cycle of bingeing and abstinence. He went back to rehab once more and later sought help at an outpatient center. Each time he got sober, hed spend months white-knuckling his days in court and his nights at home. Evening would fall and his heart would race as he thought ahead to another sleepless night. So Id have one drink, he says, and the first thing on my mind was: I feel better now, but Im screwed. Im going right back to where I was. I might as well drink as much as I possibly can for the next three days .
He felt utterly defeated. And according to AA doctrine, the failure was his alone. When the 12 steps dont work for someone like J.G., Alcoholics Anonymous says that person must be deeply flawed. The Big Book, AAs bible, states:
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way.
J.G.s despair was only heightened by his seeming lack of options. Every person I spoke with told me there was no other way, he says.
The 12 steps are so deeply ingrained in the United States that many people, including doctors and therapists, believe attending meetings, earning ones sobriety chips, and never taking another sip of alcohol is the only way to get better. Hospitals, outpatient clinics, and rehab centers use the 12 steps as the basis for treatment. But although few people seem to realize it, there are alternatives, including prescription drugs and therapies that aim to help patients learn to drink in moderation. Unlike Alcoholics Anonymous, these methods are based on modern science and have been proved, in randomized, controlled studies, to work.
For J.G., it took years of trying to work the program, pulling himself back onto the wagon only to fall off again, before he finally realized that Alcoholics Anonymous was not his only, or even his best, hope for recovery. But in a sense, he was lucky: many others never make that discovery at all.
This is a long article, but well worth the read:
http://www.theatlantic.com/features/archive/2015/03/the-irrationality-of-alcoholics-anonymous/386255/
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Right on article...
Which of course will soon be followed by food craving/addiction.
Actually you were probably not a true alcoholic. There is a common misconception about alcoholism-- that a true alcoholic cannot go for extended periods of time without a drink. (A "dry drunk"). But many can be dry for long periods. Some alcoholics can "give up drinking"-- they can actually go without drinking for long periods. But-- they inevitably go back to uncontrolled drinking.
So-- going without drinking for a fairly long time does not actually mean the person is not an alcoholic, or that they have conquered their addiction. A better test: if they have "given up" drinking-- what happens when (after a long period of "sobriety") they have a single drink? For a true alcoholic, that will put them back into uncontrolled drinking.
But for someone who has had a problem with drinking (but who is not a true alcoholic)-- they can have one drink and stop!
You said:
That indicates to me that you are not a true alcoholic. Rather, you are a person who had problems at a period of your life, and during that period, you turned to seemingly uncontrolled drinking. But-- then you stopped, drinking is no longer a problem for you.
There is a difference between someone who had that experience but can now control their drinking, and an alcoholic. They can stop drinking for long periods-- but the key indicator of alcoholism is that over time they can't control it. (Without a lot of help). It is a persistent condition (my own view is that it is a condition that some people have a genetic predisposition towards).
I think we've all known someone who ruined their life with drugs or alcohol.
I'm addicted to exercise and the internet no joke. It looks like many of us here have an Internet addiction.
There are definitely more than one way to beat being anAlcoholic. Another way is DBT, orDialecticalBehavioralTherapy. It teaches the individual to self sooth and tomanagethecompulsionsthat theyhave. It is an amazing program, and no one is ever a failure. In fact, one of thefundamentalconcepts is that I am trying, but I can also try harder.
Great article Ambie!
I have a couple of relatives that have been members of AA for 25-30 years and have remained sober. AA gives other alcoholics a wonderful support system.......but.once an alcoholic alwaysanalcoholic. They hopefullywill continue to fight the disease for the rest of their lives.They have to want to get sober and remain sober, there are no pills or magic that can do that for them. 'ONE DAY AT A TIME"
AA does not purport to be a cure for alcoholism, it is rather a fellowship, that provides support so that individuals can deal with and overcome theirown issues with alcohol.
I'm thinking that if he drinks to calm anxiety, he needs medication first. Then counseling to get at what's really bothering him. I think once his fears are calmed, and he learns to cope with those bad days, he could be all right.
I'm not a big fan of these all or nothing programs. I don't think most people can handle it, either. Nor do I believe that one drink is going to set you back on the path of drunkenness. I mean, I'm no professional, by any means, but it seems to me that this "my way or the highway" attitude is what is at fault.
5%-7% is not indicative of any kind of success.
I agree Dowser, address the anxiety and the need to drink fades.