A Bill Before Congress, "Blow Before You Vote" may PREVENT FUTURE WARS!

By:  eat-the-press-do-not-read-it  •  last year  •  8 comments

A Bill  Before Congress, "Blow Before You Vote" may PREVENT FUTURE WARS!
"Congress Is too drunk on its own power, and/or, on expensive licquors provided free of charge to our elected officials. We need a bill that insure that no one is drunk before casting their vote." McConnel, or, some sap that looks exactly like him!

How To Change Congress in a JIFFY? Grease the Skids!

Simply put, folks, my proposal, "BLOW BEFORE YOU VOTE" bill, now, making the rounds of Republican's favorites stomping grounds, "Gay Bars" in Washington, D. C, where successful lobbyists meet up with unsuccessful politicians to get things done.


This report was not vetted by our top "sauce," Steve Bunions, the former, high-level Administrative official in the Trump organization of "sleaze bags. Mister Bunions is now, a homeless wino living in the basement of the Washington Monument.

Steve is frantically reporting that there are a rapid rise and renewed interest in this project due to his shamelessly paying member of Congress off.

Mr. Bunions noted, that the "blackmailed" pictures, aka, "Caught In Action, Jackson", were provided by the Michael Jackson Foundation, or, a Foundation with a similar name because they still have a "hard-on" about Congress shunning Michael's dream of serving in the Senate.

Steve added, that "at the local, grass-roots front his team of ex-winos is hurriedly smoking a lot of grass to keep their wits sharp."  

"Simultaneously," Bunions declared, " that thuggish-looking volunteers from the NYC Mafia are calling on everyone in Congress, in a face to face feta, to get behind dis legislation or kiss your behind bye-bye."

"Blow Before You Vote, No Sucking, Please"! (Is the official, formal title, but, sponsors did not want to completely exposed lawmakers, too many are still in their wives closets.

"Unfortunately, because our volunteer (Steve) stole the bribe-money, it was not included with the memorandum to the individual Congressional members. It went to their wives, instead, with a solicitation to have sex with Steve.

Our Less Than Illustrious Research Team, the little-known, little-heard-of, Bird Droppings Institute, a Think Tanks For Morons, No Idiots, Please, is convinced that they have found a backdoor to all of the Republicans in Congress. "Tell them to bend over and grab their ankles".

Photographic materials, videos, films, audio tapes, and signed confessions from members of D.C.'s Top Dating Service, "Ho's To Go."

Per usual, we are asking all of our semi-sober readers to contact their Congressional Representatives and let them know that, "We Know What You Did Last Summer!"

Pass the "BLOW BEFORE YOU VOTE" legislation or your sexual predilections will appear weekly on Saturday Night Live until all 435 episodes are aired, sometime in 2030.

In the spirit of translucency, let me make it "crystal clear", we are talking about "blowing into a breathalyzer", not fooling around with an underage page.

Our message to our Congressional Representatives is "cave", or, your "peroxide, big-hair", Stepford Wife will know "What you did last Summer!


This is a Public Service Announcement (PSA) from the "good, God-Fearing folks" at EAT IT THE PRESS-DO NOT READ IT!

Send all complaints to that POS in the WH, if he wasn't there, we would not have to do this!


jrDiscussion - desc
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Eat The Press Do Not Read It
1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    last year

This is another discussing post by that filthy, Mc Nasty publicist from that disgusting vile publication that I cannot stop reading, "Eat The Press - Do Not Beat Your Kids With It"!The only thing cheaper than a weapon is a politician.jpg

†hε pε⊕pレε'š ƒïšh
2  †hε pε⊕pレε'š ƒïšh    last year

You can blow whomever you want before you vote but requiring others to do so with legislation is not going to happen.

Eat The Press Do Not Read It
2.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  †hε pε⊕pレε'š ƒïšh @2    last year

Many states require Breathilizers on autos for drivers who have been charged with multiple DUIs.  Who is more "DRUNK ON POWER" than our Congressional Legislators who have the power to declare war?

†hε pε⊕pレε'š ƒïšh
2.1.1  †hε pε⊕pレε'š ƒïšh  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @2.1    last year

I take an uber so i don't vomit in my own car.

Eat The Press Do Not Read It
2.2  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  †hε pε⊕pレε'š ƒïšh @2    3 months ago

Our plan call for a device, like a breathalizer attached to a car ignition that requires that Drunk Drivers BLOW BEFORE THEY GO!

Our research has confirmed that everyone in Congress is DRUNK on their Legislative Power and, should, therefore, "BLOW BEFORE THEY VOTE".

It's in the Bible, somewhere.

Dean Moriarty
3  Dean Moriarty    last year


Padre Bear
4  Padre Bear    last year

Does yer wife know yer single?

Eat The Press Do Not Read It
5  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    2 months ago

No, Padre Bear, she thinks that we are celebrating our 43rd year of matrimony on June 12, 2019. Send cash, no damn cards. Thank you!


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