The Eternal Question we all struggle with is: Who Am I! Finally, at the ripe old age of 76.7 years I think, I think I know! Do you?
This site has been officially designated as:
"Political Pornography", not suitable for Trumpanzees!
Under a direct edict of the Trump Administration's Select Committee on Ethical Reading Material, a subsidiary of the Whitehouse Bible Study Group. Chaired by "Sloppy Steve Bannon", the Whitehouse's new Spiritual Advisor. (Seen above in his Sunday best with a bottle of "Holy Water" in a brown paper bag).
BEWARE, or, be square. Penalties for reading this salacious pieces of trash include, but, is not limited to removal of one's front teeth by yanking them out of the violator's mouth without novocaine, waterboarding, instead of bathing, and shunning by the "ALT RIGHT"!
PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK , or, slit your wrist, pansexual!
Fellow Newsvine dropouts, internet fiends, and, Facebook yokels, "Black Balled for Speaking Truth to Mark Z".
I suspect, like me, you are more comfortable chatting to "complete strangers" online, than, to "real people" running frantically in and out of our dull, meaningless lives of abject despair, as we scream into the darkness nightly: "Help me, I have no friends"! (Sorry, that is probably too personal).
Above, is the Arch Villian of the Trump Sickness, currently wafting across 'Merica, filling the empty heads of the innocent with "miles and miles of crap before they sleep", courtesy of Fox TV FAKE NEWS!
I am certain that most of you know that "Sloppy Steve" Bannon, was the wizard of the Trump administration who was drained from the swamp, when he refused to grab women by the "pussy", instead, preferring to grab the media spotlight from our POSTUS, Donald J. Trump, the world renown, Theater Hog, Reality TV Star and America's Most Famous Narcissist.
Friends, I was once like you; now, I'm not! I am worse!
That is due primarily, I suspect, to the many, frequent, unsolicited beatings I have endured from Conservative, Right Wing Christians in Red Hats , who stalk me daily, seeking to convert me to their strange, backwoods mythology!
Have they approached you?
As near as I can tell their belief system is about "The Blue Eyed, Blond Haired, All White, All Right JESUS", who must have been from somewhere in the Deep South, possible Nazarene, Tennessee, in an old horse stable.
These door to door spirituals aficionados of the Tighty White, Religious Right explained to me that they learn the "inner secrets of God's Mind" from their "extremely wealthy "preacher man", Cleophas Jonson Wallbanger.
Preacher Wallganger is now an obedient servant of "The White Jesus" (the one with the Nazi Cross on his forehead).
His devout followers, like those of the legendary Jim Jones, a powerful evangelical preacher, shell out willingly, 10% of their Gross Income to their multi-millionaire "Pastor", in order that he might tell them "made up stories" that one day will make them millionaires, like he is, when they convert to his version of Christianity, that changes by the day.
I always find these devotees logic, devotion, and dedication to making others rich fascinating, so, I often invited them in, when they call, unannounced and beat on my door with their well worn New Hilly Bibles, over and over, and until I can stand the racket no longer, and, invite them in to join me for my morning coffee.
I never tire of hearing their strange, mysterious ancient tales of their "Christian Conversion" as I sip my freshly ground, whole bean Peet's Coffee from my very own French Press.
I listen, because I am not fully awake, and, they are as blaring as an alarm clock.
Over, the years, whenever there was a lull in the conversation, I would explain politely and repeatedly to these, misguided Jehovah Witness, Mormon with backpacks, or, the newer Evangelical Intruders, with loaded, fully automatic weapons that "I have my own spiritual affliction".
But, they rarely hear anything but their own voice.
"I am an ORTHODOX DRUID", I reveal, when I am tired of them and want them to go away.
"You, Winnie, are an Orthodox Druid?"
The emphasis is always on the term, "Orthodox", and repeated in amazement and a little scorn.
"You're Jewish?"
"I am?", I shout excitedly and jump up! "Well, I am damn. I always wanted to be Jewish. Jewish women are easy, I hear and go looking. They don't mind ugly men!"
"Jesus Christ, Winni, we all thought you were just weird, never going to church on Wednesday Nights, or, Saturday or twice on Sundays. Smoking pot and howling at the moon like you do. We thought you were Catholic. They are the Anti-Christs people, you know?"
"No, I didn't know that? I wonder if the Pope knows it?
"Well, Honey, you know", the very attractive one, with the cleavage showing, and enormous breast nearly cascading from her black, peekaboo bra would lean forward revealing a fleeting glance at Paradise, and whisper to me in a very low, probative breath:
"You know, you have to be reborn, again, don't", she licked her big, bright red lips with her tongue.
"Born Again?" I ask, befuddled. "Damn, that was traumatic enough the first time. As I recall my mother was exhausted from the party the night before at Satan's House, so, she refused to push any more. I had to do all the pushing. When I finally popped out, I waved at the masked man, who I learned later was a doctor, and immediately head for that big warm tit.
"I understand that men do that for the rest of their life. It is instinctive." I replied, staring at her heaving paradise and hard ripe nibble staring up at me with a big, inviting smile.
However, her companion, they always have a sprawling old maid sidekick, who looks like she has been kicked too many time in the head, stare menacingly at me, as if any mommet she might "smote me".
That is why I always set nearest to the fireplace, just in case, so I am always within an arm's length of the brass pokers with the shark tip.
My routine at 76.7 years is simple! In the morning I love to piddle about in my PJs, grind my own coffee, oblivious to the world.
Generally, I sip my coffee quietly petting my cat and listening to Brahms. When unexpected guests arrive I offering them "a cup of coffee", which they always refuse. They do not believe in "caffeine", they spit back to me as if I had asked them to have sex.
"It is against our religion", they chime in perfect unisons. I always have that same thought, "if the sprawling one wasn't so damn, scary ugly I might invite them to see my etching in my bedroom, now that "Mother" is away at working and won't return till late at night.
The thought warms the "cockles of my heart" and stirs so mething within me PJs .
But, sadly, I come to my sense, saying to myself, "Damn even for those Big 'em, I wouldn't give up coffee."
Besides, I reasoned with my ever-weakening moral code, you know, "pussy and tits" are a powerful combination that most men cannot resist.
However, the real deterrent is "Ice Pick", my lovely wife of 44 years. She whispered to me on our wedding day she expected me to be faithful, or, else.
Well, misanthrope, deadbeats, and, your cities' reject, this is Wintrope Merrideth, The III signing off with Another Useless Chapter from My Life In Mildew, Ohio, where there are "No Job, Not Even Blow Jobs".
Stay tuned for more adventure from Mildew, Ohio, "just a sharp turn from Common Sense"!
Night All, I take it every chance I get!
Tags
Who is online
90 visitors
I always start my day with "My Morning Trump"! Do You? If we are to CLEANSE OUR BODY POLITICS, the CDC suggests that we do so, religiously.
They, also. suggest that we "Don't Forget To Wipe Your Pence. That Thing Is More Toxic Than Your Trump"!
Are you anywhere near lake Woe-Be-Gone Minnesota?
(Prairie home companion)
Yes, "Woe Be Gone," Minnesota is one dimension removed. We slide back and forth, and on some Holidays are sucked into their world periodically, especially, when we need to "borrow a cup of very bad coffee".
I am having a time of it editing this piece. Any suggestions?
You know it is like sex, it has been awhile since I pleasured you, or, myself with my ramblings. I am kind of out of practice.
Today, I have had the pleasure of losing this masterpiece six times to cyberspace.
After whipping, and, I do mean "whipping" it out in a "white heat", I hit the "preview" icon, slobbering in anticipation, where, I am struct stupid to observe so many typos, spelling errors, nonsensical twisted, mixed up sentences, that is difficult not to slit me own writs.
Thank God, I have done that so many times, within the last several hours, that my wrists are like hardened leather, now.
So, after "Previewing", I click on the X icon at the top left of the page, and, the God of Grammar & Ethics deletes the whole damn thing. I do so want to edit it. Save them for posterity and my application for the Nobel Prize.
I would appreciate any suggestions on how I might end this torture.
One thing I would suggest before you do anything is to choose to copy the entire article when you have finished it. You don't have to paste it anywhere at that time, but if you decide to do some editing after that, at least you will have it copied (the copy/paste feature in the drop down) so you can at least paste it back if something happens to cause you to lose it and you won't have to remember what you wrote and start all over.
Thanks, SixPack. You know after a Six Pack I can't work my own zipper, let alone find a drop down box!
Ha. Living in a deep red state I actually have people say, There is that Liberal! I don't want to hear that Liberal bullshit!
Lets just say, I don't talk politics with many people around town.
Wise counsel!
I lived in Texas, Georgia, and South Carolina. It appears to me that the South is still "smarting" from the ass kicking they got during the Civil War, and, like Trump, they are constantly "re-inventing reality".
There is a problem, in my humbled by the year's opinion, with allowing states to control the public education AGENDA of their school-age students when their goal SEEMS TO BE to indoctrinate them with their religious mythology and fill their heads with Right Wing Conspiracy BULL CRAP!
That my friend, is "Sloppy Steve Bannon", the WH Adviser that was finally shown the door, for getting more press than our FIRST FAKE PREZ.
I am told by my staff, although I cannot verify it, or, anything, that "Sloppy Steven" is now our most prolific contributors, here, at Eat The Press- Do Not Read It! He works for wine.
GOPERS shown the door?
I got a feeling that-----that sticky Russian money will do that-----with 'the perp walk.'
The list to watch is Cohen, Manafort, Gates, Flynn, etc., and, others that Putin may have "WHACKED".
"Red Sparrow" is a movie, based on what Russia has been doing since the Second World War, or before.
Russia is an EMPIRE based on spying, not democracy, or, the "Rule of Law". They are actively involved with penetration at every level and all encounters with Westerners are orchestrated.
Russia will not STOP using their most powerful tool because of our lying, self-serving, falsely installed POSTUS told Putin to "stop it".
I am what I am, yet I am not all I will be , because I still am.
Oops! My mistake. The headline led me to believe that this was going to be a philosophical discussion about aging. Not just another cheap political hit piece.
Oh, that was a low blow: "Another Cheap Political Hit Job". It is anything but, "cheap". I lost my first three wives over it. It is a good thing that I am a Mormon, or, a Moron, or, a Moroom, however, one wants to define it, I have 9 more. One for every day in the week.
I do you know if an Article is LOCKED OR UNLOCKED? (Asking for a "locked up", friend. Note: Not a knock-up friend! )