India man to sue parents for giving birth to him
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
A 27-year-old Indian man plans to sue his parents for giving birth to him without his consent.
Mumbai businessman Raphael Samuel told the BBC that it's wrong to bring children into the world because they then have to put up with lifelong suffering.
Mr Samuel, of course, understands that our consent can't be sought before we are born, but insists that "it was not our decision to be born".
So as we didn't ask to be born, we should be paid for the rest of our lives to live, he argues.
A demand like this could cause a rift within any family, but Mr Samuel says he gets along very well with his parents (both of whom are lawyers) and they appear to be dealing with it with a lot of humour.
In a statement, his mother Kavita Karnad Samuel explained her response to "the recent upheaval my son has created".
"I must admire my son's temerity to want to take his parents to court knowing both of us are lawyers. And if Raphael could come up with a rational explanation as to how we could have sought his consent to be born, I will accept my fault," she said.
Mr Samuel's belief is rooted in what's called anti-natalism - a philosophy that argues that life is so full of misery that people should stop procreating immediately.
This, he says, would gradually phase out humanity from the Earth and that would also be so much better for the planet.
"There's no point to humanity. So many people are suffering. If humanity is extinct, Earth and animals would be happier. They'll certainly be better off. Also no human will then suffer. Human existence is totally pointless."
A year ago, he created a Facebook page, Nihilanand, which features posters that show his images with a huge fake beard, an eye-mask and anti-natalist messages like "Isn't forcing a child into this world and forcing it to have a career, kidnapping, and slavery?" Or, "Your parents had you instead of a toy or a dog, you owe them nothing, you are their entertainment."
Mr Samuel says he remembers first having anti-natalist thoughts when he was five.
"I was a normal kid. One day I was very frustrated and I didn't want to go to school but my parents kept asking me to go. So I asked them: 'Why did you have me?' And my dad had no answer. I think if he'd been able to answer, maybe I wouldn't have thought this way."
As the idea grew and took shape in his mind, he decided to tell his parents about it. He says his mum reacted "very well" and dad too "is warming up" to the idea.
"Mum said she wished she had met me before I was born and that if she did, she definitely wouldn't have had me," he says laughing and adds that she does see reason in his argument.
"She told me that she was quite young when she had me and that she didn't know she had another option. But that's what I'm trying to say - everyone has the option."
In her statement, his mother also said it was unfair to focus on a "sliver of what he believes in".
"His belief in anti-natalism, his concern for the burden on Earth's resources due to needless life, his sensitivity toward the pain experienced unwittingly by children while growing up and so much more has been ruefully forgotten.
"I'm very happy that my son has grown up into a fearless, independent-thinking young man. He is sure to find his path to happiness."
Mr Samuel says his decision to take his parents to court is only based on his belief that the world would be a much better place without human beings in it.
So six months ago, one day at breakfast, he told his mother that he was planning to sue her. "She said that's fine, but don't expect me to go easy on you. I will destroy you in court." Mr Samuel is now looking for a lawyer to take up his case, but so far he's not had much success.
"I know it's going to be thrown out because no judge would hear it. But I do want to file a case because I want to make a point."
His Facebook posts have also attracted a lot of responses, "some positive, but mostly negative" with some even advising him to "go kill yourself". He has also had worried mums asking him what would happen if their children see his posts.
"Some argue logically, some are offended and some are offensive. To those abusing me, let them abuse me. But I also hear from many who say they support me but can't say this publicly for whatever reasons. I ask them to come out and speak up," he says.
His critics also say that he's doing this to get some publicity.
"I'm not really doing this for publicity," he says, "but I do want the idea to go public. This simple idea that it's okay to not have a child."
I ask him if he is unhappy being born.
"I wish I was not born. But it's not that I'm unhappy in my life. My life is good, but I'd rather not be here. You know it's like there's a nice room, but I don't want to be in that room," he explains.
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This is such a bizarre circumstance. However, it does remind me of something I once said to my own father.
While my family wasn't rich, my father's income was definitely handsome. It kept my mother from having to work, put my brother and I through college, afforded the luxury of buying new family cars with cash instead of financing, and never left us wanting for life's essentials. Yet my brother and I grew up with almost no luxury or intellectually stimulating travel experiences whatsoever. We had never experienced the ocean, had never flown on a plane, our "vacations" only occurred when dad had a conference somewhere with a per diem expense budget or visiting family out of town. They got me a low budget car to commute to college with, then promptly sold it upon graduation and told me to get my own. I have endless examples of how boring and unfulfilling our lives were, when it could have been different. It was a spartan existence compared to how most people I know grew up.
At a middle school age, I asked if I could accept an invitation from a friend's family to go on vacation with them. Mom said talk to your father, which was code for "no". I asked him anyways, and of course the answer was no. I got so upset about it that I asked why they even had us to begin with. He scoffed at me and made me feel so small and embarrassed for making such a comment that I will never forget the feeling.
Yet later in life, once I finally got to a similar status as he was, I lived a very different lifestyle. I pay for relatively expensive vacations to take my kids and their friends on. I fly all the time, and help my adult kids with airfare and expenses, cars, etc. when they need it. If I really want something, I buy it. These are things that bring me joy and make life worth living. As much as I love my parents, sometimes I look back at my juvenile comment and realize that maybe I was more right than what I was shamed into believing. I have no plans on suing them though. Lol
My dad also afforded the luxury of buying new family cars with cash instead of financing, and never left us wanting for life's essentials because we had never experienced the ocean, had never flown on a plane, our "vacations" where dad's fishing trips.
I started buying the clothes I wanted instead of what they bought me at 13, I bought the specific snack foods I wanted at about 12, I bought my own car at 16 and I was totally out on my on since 17. I learned well to take care of myself and the value of a buck. I feel fortunate, some never learn either.
Once I accidently said at a family reunion that my Grandmother was my favorite human alive ...Mom was not happy....lol
I never felt too bad about what I said though because it was the truth.
maybe I was more right than what I was shamed into believing.
You certainly are not alone there. I took care of my very sick aged dying mother, she was fortunate I overlooked the ills of my childhood, she got excellent care from me 24/7/365 for 3 years. I kept my inheritance from going to others and she got great care.
This is funny. I remember telling my mom as a child, "I didn't ask to be born!" As far as I recall, she completely ignored me, as she should. Or maybe she told me "Well, I'm glad you were born." Either way, it did not have whatever silly effect I might have wished for when I was being bratty.
My mom wouldn’t even let me go on my friend’s dad’s sailboat. She never learned to swim, and even though I was an experienced swimmer, I had to suffer through her fear on drowning vicariously.
Hmmmm....my mother once told me the only reason my brother and I were born was because my father wouldn't walk down to the corner drugstore for rubbers
I don't think she was trying to be funny, either
Ouch. That’s cold.
No shit !
Looney tunes does not even begin to describe Mr Samuel!
Evidence that mental illness is hereditary.
I was always told my ideas were stupid. Over and over I heard that, as a child I related that to I was stupid. So bad grades ,, No problem I'm stupid, what did I expect. Til one day in 6th grade, The teacher was asking questions out loud to the class and you raised your hand if you wanted to answer. I was the only one raising my hand at every damn question, It hit me I wasn't stupid after all, I was actually pretty smart. That changed my life.
Yep parents can screw ya up and not even know it.
PS: Mom and dad never thought out of the box, no wonder they thought my ides were stupid, it was an easy reasoning to say No as well.
This guy is wackadoo, he must not be very happy. I would think most people thank their parents for giving them life not sue them for it.
I dunno - maybe it’s just some philosophical attempt to get people to think more deeply about their desire to birth lots of offspring. These days, the more kids you have, the least likely you are to be able to send them off into the world of independence. Everything costs considerably more than it did a couple generations ago. I’m sure he’s not planning on winning anything from this, but it does get people’s attention.