Dyke Drama Reaches New Heights in Alleged Lesbian Space Crime
In a historic first for dyke drama, a lesbian astronaut who was on a mission in outer space has been accused of a serious crime by her estranged wife.
NASA astronaut Anne McClain is facing accusations of identity theft from her ex, former Air Force intelligence officer Summer Worden, reports The New York Times . In the midst of their messy divorce-slash-custody battle, Worden noticed that McClain (pictured below) was privy to tidbits from Worden’s personal finances that should have been private.
Worden went on to file a complaint with the Federal Trade Commission, effectively accusing McClain—who was famously poised to join NASA’s first all-female spacewalk alongside fellow astronaut Christina Koch—of identity theft and improper access to her personal financial information.
Mind you, the alleged crimes all occurred while McClain was on a six-month mission aboard the International Space Station.
Mark Sundahl, director of Cleveland State University’s Global Space Law Center, told The Times that McClain is the first astronaut he can think of who’s been accused of committing a crime while in space. NASA officials also confirmed that the organization doesn’t have records of any other criminal allegations in space in its 61-year history.
Meanwhile, McClain is now back on planet Earth and reportedly cooperating with the investigation.
“She strenuously denies that she did anything improper,” her lawyer, Rusty Hardin, told The Times .
Whether or not the accusations hold up, McClain, alleged Lesbian Space Criminal, is now Gay Twitter™’s fixation du jour:
Media Matters for America editor at large Parker Molloy even created a limited run of “Lesbian Space Criminal” T-shirts, which you can now cop for the very reasonable price of $20 . Bonus: Proceeds go to Live Like Roo , a U.S.-based organization that provides financial support to pet owners of dogs with cancer.
You can't make this shit up
Wait, the what now? Global Space Law? That's a thing ? Are people really practicing this? What courtroom has jurisdiction over the cases? Who are the clients?
Duck Dodgers?
Brandishing a weapon? Unlicensed jet pack? Relax Dodgers, I got you.
Marvin the Martian?
Look! He can't pay. Fuckin' typical!
Tuition for this 3 credit-hour course is $3150 (regardless of the U.S. state or country in which you live).