Trump Questions Whether Oakland Is Located in United States | The New Yorker
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
By Andy Borowitz
August 15, 2020 
Photograph by Kevin Dietsch / UPI / Bloomberg / Getty
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald Trump stirred controversy on Saturday by questioning whether the city of Oakland was located in the United States of America.
"Some very smart people are wondering about that," Trump told reporters at the White House. "It's something that needs to be looked into."
Trump explained that Oakland was "probably a completely different country," because "a lot of countries end in the word 'land.' "
"You've got countries like Ireland, Iceland, and Greenland," he said. "So you probably would have to add a country like Oakland to that list."
Trump's suffix-based theory of countries drew a question from one of the reporters present, CNN's Jim Acosta.
"Portland also ends in 'land,' " Acosta said. "Does that mean that, when you sent federal troops to Portland, you were invading a foreign country?"
"No, that means you're a terrible person," Trump replied.
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Well, that sounds about right considering the source.
Oakland, where the Raiders would not stay
Trump thinks that the Vikings discovered Oakland...
Next on the invasion list is Maryland.
Can one man be that fucking stupid? Does he think that Graceland is a country also?
The Borowitz Report gets closer to reality every day.
Just imagine what Trump must think about Babes in Toyland.
He only cares that the babes have yuge racks.
You've got that right.
Remember there is a " Yes California" secession movement that was started by some guy who now lives in Russia.
So at least some people in California (and Russia) are trying to make it a "whole nuther country".
Is this seed satire - or prophecy?
Underutilized minds want to know.
Jefferson State pushers are freaks with the rest of us here laughing our asses at their sad and pitiful antics. They don't like it here, they can leave anytime they want. There are lots of open spaces in Russia.