Americans Favor Continuing to Mute Trump After Debate | The New Yorker
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
By Andy Borowitz
October 22, 2020 
Photograph by Win McNamee / Getty
MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report)—Americans favor continuing to mute Donald J. Trump after the final Presidential debate, a new study has found.
In the study, which was conducted by the psychology department at the University of Minnesota, researchers measured the responses of subjects when they were told that it was possible to mute Trump.
"Using advanced imaging, we were able to gauge how they reacted to this news," Dr. Davis Logsdon, who supervised the study, said. "The pleasure centers in their brains lit up like solar flares."
When they were told that Trump would no longer be muted after the debate, however, the subjects reacted with "disappointment, anguish, and even rage," Logsdon said.
"One man was reduced to tears," the researcher said. "He said, 'I don't understand why they can't keep muting him—they clearly have the technology.' "Logsdon said that the study yielded many other findings, including a widespread psychological need to mute Donald Trump, Jr.
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The best way to permanently mute Trump is to vote Democratic on November 3rd, or sooner. He surely cannot be gone soon enough for most Americans...
There’s other ways, but even the faintest allusion to them will earn you a ticket on this site. I’ll probably get a ticket just for alluding to such allusions.
Yay Andy!!