Larry Elder Claims Widespread Evidence of Him Losing | The New Yorker
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
By Andy Borowitz
September 15, 2021 
Photograph by Mike Blake / Reuters
SACRAMENTO, California (The Borowitz Report)—After the polls closed in California's recall election, the G.O.P. candidate Larry Elder claimed that there was "widespread evidence" of him losing to Governor Gavin Newsom.
Detailing his accusations, Elder alleged a "vast conspiracy" involving millions of Californians, designed to deny him a victory.
"I had people stationed at polling places across the state and they came back with truly shocking reports of people voting for Newsom," he said. "Now, lo and behold, Newsom is being declared the winner. Coincidence? I don't think so."
Seeking a remedy for what he called "one of the most blatant cases of someone losing in California history," Elder has retained the legal services of the former New York mayor Rudolph Giuliani.
The two men are scheduled to hold a press conference on Thursday in Santa Monica, at Shutters on the Beach Total Landscaping.
Though Elder is playing his cards close to the vest, one remedy reportedly under discussion is a campaign to recall all ten million of the state's Democratic voters.
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Well thank goodness there aren't any Covid statistics that Larry can blame.
I am now certain that Larry wasn't smart enough to be a computer programmer.
The first hurdle is understanding what "If, then" means.
There was no "if", hence, there will never be a Governor Larry.
Borowitz is not short on material these days
People are saying the election was rigged, they were calling me telling me that, (LE AKA DJT)