Marjorie Taylor Greene Calls Daylight-Saving Time a Conspiracy to Control Clocks | The New Yorker
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
By Andy Borowitz
March 16, 2022 
Photograph by Eric Lee / Bloomberg / Getty
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—One day after the U.S. Senate passed a bill that would make daylight-saving time permanent, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene alleged that D.S.T. is a "conspiracy to control clocks."
"My message to the American people is very simple: be afraid, be very afraid," Greene said. "He who controls clocks controls time itself."
Claiming that the movement to make D.S.T. permanent has been spearheaded by a "cabal of international elites," Greene said, "When we lose an hour, who gets that hour? The Rothschilds, that's who."
Greene said that she would not "stand idly by while a foreign banking family hoards our precious hours in their offshore time vaults."
Instead, the Georgia Republican proposed her own legislation, which would make time stand still for the foreseeable future.
"First, they came for our clocks," she warned.
Tags
Who is online
72 visitors
Did you see Green refusing to applaud Zelensky?
I love Andy Borowitz!
Andy Borowitz loves you too...
... braintrust of the congressional trumpster cult.
I know it’s satire, but is it really?
Fake nuz! She tweeted it's a Deep State plot to recharge the space lasers!
LOLOL
She aught to know about daylight. It's all she's got between her ears.
Green can't figure out spring forward and fall back. She needs a diagram done in crayon.
She and the people that voted for her should be sterilized....for the good of the human race.
Yet, apparently, the joke is she can't see the conspiracy to hide Donald Trump troubled legal cases inside a 'ton' of war coverage on cable news channels. GENIUS I TELL YOU. This way-Trump's choices for congress will be shoe-ins.
Time is nothing more than a metaphysical construct created by jewish space/time lasers.
Hank Johnson is Marjorie Greene's mentor.