Chess player denies using sex toy to help him beat grand champion
Category: News & Politics
Via: revillug • 2 years ago • 35 commentsBy: Barney Davis (Evening Standard)
Hans Niemann,19, an up and-coming star in the game, was sensationally accused online of using anal beads connected to a computer programme that would vibrate and give him the perfect AI moves to defeat world No. 1 grandmaster Magnus Carlsen .
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
A teenage chess grandmaster has been forced to deny using a sex toy to help him claim his crown in one of the biggest scandals to hit the game in years.
Hans Niemann,19, an up and-coming star in the game, was sensationally accused online of using anal beads connected to a computer programme that would vibrate and give him the perfect AI moves to defeat world No. 1 grandmaster Magnus Carlsen.
Hitting back at internet rumours accusing him of using anal beads to cheat, Niemann said: "If they want me to strip fully naked, I will do it.
"I don't care. Because I know I am clean.
"You want me to play in a closed box with zero electronic transmission, I don't care. I'm here to win and that is my goal regardless."
It came as Elon Musk deleted a tweet of an influencer discussing the rumour that Niemann used an illicit remote sex toy during the chess competition.
Musk captioned it with an adapted version of a quote by philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer, writing: "Talent hits a target no one else can hit, genius hits a target no one can see (cause it's in ur butt)."
Niemann beat Magnus Carlsen, the world chess champion, in the $500,000 Sinquefield Cup on September 4, ending Carlsen's 53-game unbeaten streak.
The next day Carlsen withdrew from the tournament - a move which shocked the chess world.
He also tweeted a cryptic video of Jose Mourinho, the Portuguese soccer manager, saying, "I prefer really not to speak. If I speak, I am in big trouble."
The meme of Mourinho is when the manager is blasting officials for questionable performance leading online commentators to infer that Carlsen was accusing Neimann of cheating.
"It must be embarrassing for the world champion to lose to an idiot like me," Niemann said in an interview shortly afterward, according to Vice. "I feel bad for him."
On Saturday, Chris Bird, the chief arbiter of the Sinquefield Cup, released a statement that there was no indication that any competitor was "playing unfairly".
When asked if Niemann would be invited back to the St. Louis Chess Club, its executive director, said, "Yes, Hans has already accepted an invitation to play in the fall classic, so I already have him signed up for the next tournament at the club."
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Talk about sore losers! But to be honest, it sounds like the winner might also be a bit sore.
They are literally accusing this young man of having electronic sex toy balls concealed in his anus so he could receive some sort of morse code messages letting him know what the best next move according to a world class chess program would be.
Wow. I guess this is what happens when you run out of plausible accusations. Sounds like the accusers might need some soothing vibration anal beads themselves to treat their butt hurt.
I guess. . . it's possible. I love chess. But who is controlling the 'rounds' of vibration. . . off-stage? Were their unexpected and unplanned 'rumbling' sounds afoot in the area of play?
Bluetooth has a range of around 30 feet so the logistics do sound a bit difficult to pull off.
You certainly want to ensure that the proper security protocols are properly implemented.
May be there needs to be a 'dampener" or 'jammer' (no pun intended) installed.
Can you imagine being at a dead quiet chess tournament table and your opponent's ass is buzzing?
I am inclined to believe the world champ blew it and the 19 year old upstart got a lucky break. I mean, nobody is a grandmaster at the age of 19 unless they are brilliant. (I know a bit about chess, even though I suck at it.) The beginning of the game depends upon memorization of an encyclopedia of games that have been played before. But after the first dozen moves or so the game switches over to a players ability to do calculations in their head. Youth has an advantage at this stage of the game.
So a prodigy probably got lucky against a world champ.
Unless his ass was buzzing.
Damn those ingenuous devices that science keeps coming up with; what will 'young rascals' think to do next?
Tweet
Place 'proximity' microphone/s in the surroundings.
If I recall, Chess.com (or am I thinking of a different online chess playing forum?) regularly reviews chess games for evidence of cheating with the aid of a chess computer. Anyone can ask for a game to be adjudicated for such cheating.
But if it comes down to who has the best ass buzzers, I would say that the Russian chess team might be in a bit of trouble:
Chess.com does indeed have such a featured service. I have been notified at least twice to analysis that went my way unsolicited. Although, I think they should check a few more of my 'friends' out too.
HA!
I will just be 'be-bopping' along feeling my 'oats' and winning a long time and bam all of a sudden I have the opposite effect of losing four games in a row! The players playing such adroit activity that I am left questioning what the heck? Or, could it be that 'group' is just that good? I don't know. So far, I am in the mood for another check by Chess.com on them!
So do you think this guy might be a bit of a cheat?
The gap between the top chess programs and mere humans these days is pretty big. If somebody suddenly starts playing like Stockfish on a given Tuesday it's going to be pretty obvious.
Stockfish? I had to look that one up. Its an "moderator" - how does that work exactly? Do you know? I'm curious.
This guy in the article? I don't know about it. It would seem the system could analyze his moves for "brilliance" and 'perfection.' Rendering its own conclusion-if only unofficial. This is big business.
Other than that to tarnish a young man's good name or 'chance' victory is wrong. Afterall, he got to the match by having some mad skills in the first place!
As the saying around here goes: The organization needs to "Prove it!"
Stockfish is just an open source chess engine. You can plug it in to a chess program that allows you to choose between multiple engines. If you are using Windows the program "Arena" is a good program that will allow you to not only install multiple engines but even sit back and watch them play tournaments against each other.
I imagine that when they check to see if you are using a computer they check your move choice at each position and compare it to what the various engines would select. At some point an actual human is going to be diverging from the chess engine. But it must get harder as the human's actual chess rating gets higher. The human is going to be seeing a lot of what the computer is at that level of play.
And sometimes I play the computer on Chess.com at 'levels' (probably need to do so more)! To be fair, others could be upping their skills using the AI engines routinely or for months or even years! Or just old souls at Chess.
Which is why I keep my questions to myself and my 'envy' in check!
(For the record, I put "Stockfish" in the Chess.com search box and a "Stockfish moderator" something or other came up.
)
If I recall, They let you have an adjourned game evaluated to see if it should be categorized as a win loss or draw. Maybe Stockfish does some of that work...
Hans Niemann's FIDE is 2688. He is a grandmaster. He is 49th in the world. No mere human being.
Magnus Carlsen's FIDE is 2861.
So Niemann's butt has a rating of 2688.
Does anyone know about his brain? What's that rated at?
The MAN says he did not have a 'plug' stuck in his butt! Now where is your material evidence that a crime has been committed, " Watson " ? (Chuckling.)
Some of the GMs are playing daily on Chess.com site or at least being aired there as they take on all rapid-game comers! I learn a lot about 'strength' and confidence in my game through inspiration.
You mean the game analysis? The game is won, lost, or draw by quick determination upon its end. I do look at the analysis because I wish to know if I am getting closer to the 'brilliant' move 'step' maybe once, twice, three times (the charm)!
Hans Niemann has admitted to cheating in internet games on chess.com:
Wikipedia: Hans Niemann
Hmmm. Very interesting. But is this sufficient evidence of this 'crime' as existing?
No. But it does show that he is willing to cheat on a platform as unimportant as chess.com.
If nobody trusts him then it is partly his fault.
EDIT: But the man, at 19, is quite young. Who of us at the age of 19 took everything as seriously as we should.
True to all 'that'! Besides at such a 'tender' young age he should have been testing his 'ability,' got caught, and learned a valuable lifelong lesson. —Or not! (Smile.) Realistically, they will have to test his actual moves against chess analysis looking for too many "agreements"-because there is no way his 'buns' are going to tell on itself!
Also, if they don't trust people in these high profile tournaments with big cash prizes they are going to need to sweep the contestants like they sweep the public on their way into the museum of modern art here in NYC.
ANNOUNCER: "Okay chess contestants, it is time to check in all your 'plug-ins' and we do mean ALL!" "When you're ready: Step in line!"
Once when I was trying to fly domestically, I got flagged for a second screening in the waiting area. They called out my name over the loud speakers and asked me to report to security. I was traveling with quite a few devices and they all had different chargers. There was a phone, a kindle, a laptop and maybe even a tablet and security was freaked out by all the cables and chargers. They actually set about sweeping across my shirtless bare arms a few times as if they were looking to see whether I had explosives installed in my bone marrow.
I've streamlined my electronics chargers since then.
I suffer from narcolepsy, the drugs don't work so I use a remote anal bullet set on a single vibration every ten minutes. Works like a champ.
A chess champ.
Do any of you currently play chess? How about a go of it somewheres?
STOP! Seriously how would "the beads" know to vibrate (a set of game board coordinates) all on their own when grandmaster Magnus Carlsen moves randomly? This is a ludicrous (and outrageous) charge. Why do officials think it is even feasible? Where is the conspirator hiding in the audience situated?
To pull off a stunt like this someone would have to be privy to the moves of the game and able to both enter them into an AI program and then communicate the moves to Hans. Making a sex toy vibrate with the morse code for a chess square sounds like the easy part.
Am I the only one thinking at this point that this would make a great MythBusters episode?
Or would a round of "JACKASS" (STEVE-O styled) help to explain it all? And time clocks, GMs use them all the time! Why are these people making this young man's victory a 'mess'? Now he is seriously thinking about sitting around in a thong on live camera playing chess?! Wonders never cease. Ladies and gentlemen that would be called:
CHESS PORN.
(A whole new 'cha-bang'.)
Hey! Profits will be through the roof! People love new things to get interested in.