She Canceled Her Daughter's Playdate With A Little Boy And Asked That All Further Communication Be Sent From The Boy's Mother Due To Past Trauma With Men
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
This 29-year-old woman is currently a single mother who has a 3-year-old daughter. She also works full-time and has enrolled her daughter in a daycare program during those hours.
Unfortunately, though, she does have some past trauma that has caused her to be very uncomfortable around men she is unfamiliar with.
She has since started going to therapy in hopes of working through that trauma. However, she still struggles with it day-to-day.
And recently, one incident involving her daughter and her trauma has stirred up a lot of uncomfortable feelings.
It all began after her daughter met another little boy at daycare, and the pair became friends. Then, her daughter started begging her for weeks to set up a playdate with the little boy.
Eventually, one day when she went to pick her daughter up from daycare, she was also introduced to the boy. And as she was talking with the two kids, the boy's mother showed up.
The mother reportedly introduced herself and claimed that the little boy had also been asking for a play date with her daughter. So, the mother ended up asking for her phone number to set one up, and she happily obliged.
Then, a few weeks later, the mother finally reached out, and they set up a playdate at a local activity center. And come the day of the event, both the little boy's mother and father showed up.
Now, even though both parents reportedly seemed like "nice enough" people, the dad apparently tried to talk to her directly at one point.
“But I think he could tell I was uncomfortable, so he ended up just walking around with the kids, and I talked more with the mom,” she recalled.
Anyway, following that playdate, her daughter and the little boy only became even better friends. So, her daughter kept begging her to invite the little boy over to their house for another playdate.
Eventually, she did get around to texting the mother again and setting up another hangout. But, come the day of the playdate, she apparently got a text from a number she did not recognize.
The texter ended up being the little boy’s dad– who claimed that his wife had a cold and would not be bringing the boy over. Instead, the dad claimed that he would take his wife’s place.
Honestly, though, the idea of a man she did not know going into her house nearly gave her a panic attack. So, she ultimately texted the dad back and told him that they had to cancel the playdate.
“Ummm, ok. Sorry to hear that,” the dad responded to her message.
Now, a few days after that exchange, she did reach out to the little boy’s mother in an attempt to reschedule the playdate. However, she claims that the mom was not very receptive.
So, at that point, she attempted to explain why she just did not feel comfortable with a “strange man” entering her house. She also clarified that it was completely fine if the little boy’s mother brought him over to her house.
Quite frankly, though, the mother told her that if she was going to view the little boy’s father as “some kind of predator,” then it would be best if their two families just did not socialize anymore.
That shocked her, and she pointed out how their children were good friends. Moreover, she expressed her belief that they should not deprive the kids of their friendship. According to her, though, the mother just replied, “They can play at school. They’ll make new friends.”
Anyway, following this whole incident, she decided to vent about the situation to her friend– because, obviously, her daughter was pretty upset, and she was quite angry, too.
So, during that conversation, she told her friend that it felt like the couple was punishing both of their children because the little boy’s dad could not get his ego in check. To her surprise, though, her friend completely disagreed and told her that she could not really blame either the mother or father. In fact, her friend pointed out how no wife ever wants to feel like their husband is perceived as a threat– even if it is just implied.
Still, she believes that her daughter is being unfairly punished for something that was completely out of her control.
“And that both the mom and dad overreacted to a very reasonable boundary,” she added.
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Something a little different.
I am sorry, I know she had some kind of trauma but for her to be angry after she will not even admit that the boy has a father...
No way in hell I would let my kid play with someone that would not even communicate with me.
I'm kind of on the fence here. The woman has issues she knows she needs to work through and could have communicated better with the other couple. It might even have been more helpful for her in the long run had she communicated that better. We need to teach people better communication skills as well as how/when to keep our egos in check.
I kinda have to wonder what kind of trauma she could be inflicting on her own child because of her own problems.