Why do people have to be so mean?
I have been going through some real depression this week and just still wanting to die at times. I do volunteer work at two places. One in my town at the pantry, and one in a neighboring town at a thrift store that some seniors run and are in need of help/volunteers.
Earlier this past week I had asked one of the other volunteers for some help. She just told me no and walked away, and then began helping someone else. I was treated by this female volunteer very badly earlier last week and yesterday. She talks to everyone else, ignores me, even when I ask her to help me she refuses, but as soon as someone else needs help she's right on it. She talks right over my head as if i am not even there and says good morning to all others except me.
I have never done a thing to her and don't understand why people have to be so mean to me. I just broke down and began crying after the way she treated me yesterday and then went home. I just climbed into bed and called it a day. I cried off and on all day and night, and then ended up calling the National Suicide Hotline to talk to someone.
After talking to someone at the suicide hotline it helped a bit, and they did call me back to check in on me today to make sure I was ok.
At times I just do not know what to do anymore. I just don't understand why people have to be so mean to me like this lady is. Bills keep coming in, and there are no jobs in my town and one cannot survive off of volunteering all the time.
I at times just don't know what to do anymore.
Maya
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Personal opinion - that person doesn't need to be in your life - don't deal with or associate with her. If she doesn't take the hint, talk with supervision. If that doesn't help - believe me, there are plenty of people/organizations who would die for someone who "truly" volunteers.
I think most of us reach the end of our rope, at times. I'm so sorry that you feel you've reached yours!
I saw a beautiful picture, just today, and it said, "Sometimes, the greatest act of bravery is just to keep on going." Well, I know how that feels. There have been times, that, if I didn't have my pets, I would have slowly sunk to the bottom of a deep well... But, I had to get up to feed them, I had to get up and go to work to buy food for them. THEY were the reason that I kept going. Do you have a pet? If you can't have pets, and I KNOW this sounds silly, but a stuffed animal helps. Every time I've been at my lowest ebb, and couldn't be with my babies, a stuffed animal to hug, to put at the foot of the bed as if it were my cats, helped get me through...
Some people use being mean to others as a way of feeling better about themselves. They know they're creeps on the inside and have enough "soul" left to feel guilty about it. So, they behave badly to others, in order to build themselves up-- but you see, the trouble with that is, it's like a rush of heroin, or something. They need another "fix", to ignore their own problems, and put down others to feel better about themselves. I know it is REALLY hard to look at the woman objectively, but, think how badly she must feel on the inside to make her behave that way!
Is there someone that heads up the volunteers that you can talk to? Perhaps she is a problem to others, as well. Or perhaps the other volunteers have noticed it, as well... Not that she'll stop, but a good volunteer "manager" would not want someone around who is so negative to other people-- you're there to do good, not harm-- either to the people you're helping or the other volunteers. At the very least, it might make you feel better. And, if not, leave it. And don't look back.
There are plenty of places that will offer a positive experience when volunteering-- most people are just begging for volunteers. I know you can find some place where the volunteers are welcomed and treated with dignity. Sometimes, it takes all of us a few tries to find our niche.
As far as the job situation, it sucks everywhere. No, that's no help to you, but it would help to know more about your skills and your situation. Most cities have some kind of help with resumes and even get grants to help people with employment. Maybe that would help!
First, in order to find a job, you've got to feel better about yourself. Then, you'll feel more confident in your job search. Do you like hot bubble baths? Take one, it's relaxing... Watch a funny TV show. Look at something uplifting and happy! Paint your nails, fix your hair, and do something good for YOU. Avoid things that make you feel badly about yourself, and any time you have a self-doubt, which plagues us all, say it out loud, "I am a worthwhile and valuable person. I have many talents and abilities, and I will make it!" Give yourself a big hug, pat yourself on the shoulder, and say, "Don't worry, I will take care of you!"
Funny how that helps. It is empowering to be in charge of yourself, to rely on yourself for your happiness. The strong part of you will help the weak part of you, and after a while, you'll feel better. At every positive step, say to yourself, "Look at that! You did it! You're on your way!" Every time something doesn't work out, just say, and I mean out loud, "That didn't work out so well, but if I've learned anything from it, it was a worthwhile experience." Sometimes, just talking to ourselves positively can really affect our viewpoint!
Until then, please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. It sometimes takes awhile to feel better, but eventually, we do, and then, we look back and can say, Well, I've survived.
I agree with Dowser Maya. No one knows until they walk in your shoes.
Let me give you an example. Today is Sunday. I was going to wash some clothes yesterday so I started laying them out on the carpet, you know underwear here bluejeans over there you get the idea. Well, I was pretty much standing up and bending over at the waist doing this as I had just put all the clothes in a pile. Well by golly when I went to straighten up, I felt that lower back do something and it wasn't a good feeling. Well I've been practically crawling around ever since. All I wanted to do was sleep and I'm telling you when I got in the right position I could sleep like I hadn't slept in a week until I rolled over......ouch!!!!
Well today I started looking on the internet for things to help me with my back as I have to go to work tomorrow and knew it was going to really be a pain in the back all day. Actually I didn't know if I could go to work.
So.... I decided to go for a walk. I took off slowly at first all bent over and slowing rising to the standup position and slowly started walking. By the time I had walked about a quarter of a mile I was walking straight up and feeling pretty good. I continued until I had walked about a half mile, turned around and walked back home. Well, I'm not going to tell you my back is like new and I can still feel the pain, but the act of trying to look for solutions as you are here with your sincere expression of you distress shows you're doing the same thing. I know this is a silly story and just doesn't seem to come up to par with mental distress, but believe me, back pain can get to you as well.
My back rarely hurts me, but even though it hasn't driven me to call the suicide hotline, it really did get me down and probably will not just go away right away, but looking to find solutions to our deepest feelings like depression is the correct way to tackle a problem. You can feel sorry for yourself for a little while, but then you must realize life can be very painful for each of us at times. In other words you are not alone!
It may be a good idea to see someone professionally who can help you if you don't feel you can do it yourself, but always remember these four words, "This Too Shall Pass" and never forget it. Recite it to yourself.
You're probably not strong enough right now to just tell that lady to kiss your ass, so you must and I mean must realize you are very important. What would these people do without you? There are many depending on you to volunteer yourself to help them and you'd be letting them down if you didn't start realizing how important and what a good person you are for doing these things for the less fortunate.
Seek out people who are assets to your life and help you become all you can. Realize you can't satisfy everyone and you have to satisfy yourself before you can help anyone else. Be friendly to everyone and if you find out right away you are not receiving the same attitude back from them, move on. They are of no use to you.
Don't you worry, you have everyone here to pull you through this tough time and feel free to allow us to do so at any time in the future.
We know you just haven't realized how important you are or may have forgotten, but I assure you there is no one on this site who hasn't felt exactly like you at some point in their lives, but center your attention on the good days to come. Picture what you want it to be, not what it appears or is today. Picture yourself already there.
When a bad thought enters your head, recite this...."Cancel that thought". I don't care how many times it takes don't stop. This may sound silly to you now, but you can only think of one thing at a time and why not cancel the thoughts you know are detrimental to your happiness.
It is of utmost importance to picture yourself already happy and content with yourself. I can not stress enough the importance of this.
Thank you both 1stWarrior and Dowser.
I would love to take a nice hot bubble bath, but I only have a walkin shower on my home. as for finding a job, in my town, not easy. It's a very small town with limited jobs. I would have to search for a job 50 to 80 miles away and it wouldn't work out due to the cost of gas and tine on the road spent.
I have been contiplentating on finding a writer to write a book about me and do a docufilm on me as well. I just don't know where to find such a person that would take this project so we both could financially benefit from my lifes story.
I do hope everyone has a great holiday season. I am going to try and make the most of it, but it does get pretty sad and lonely since i have no one to cook for and to share a holiday meal with. I might be pet sitting, so maybe I won't be alone, but if I do have my next operation in December, I'll probably spend it all alone.
Take care everyone, and please keep warm.
Maya,
I can only repeat what others here have already said to you. You have lots of friends here and a lot of support. We all care about you because you are you. If you ever want a real person to talk to contact me and I will give you my phone number. Maybe we can brainstorm and see if we can solve a couple of your problems. Not all people are mean... only ignorant ones. You are a beautiful person... don't let stupid people get in the way of your happiness.
((((((Maya)))))))