Don't be a Brian: Tulsa Man's Standoff over Auto-Gratuity Gets Police Involved - The Lost Ogle
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
1:49 PM EDT on August 1, 2023
By Patrick
As a former Applebee's server, I think every American adult should be required to wait tables or bartend at a restaurant at least once in their life.
Well, at least if they want to collect social security or vote in elections.
This would not only give Americans a better understanding of the service industry, its demands, and the B.S. its employees have to deal with on a regular basis, but also lead to a kinder, gentler, more patient country with fewer Karens living in our neighborhoods and clogging up our social media feeds.
It would lead to fewer Brians, too.
Yesterday afternoon, some guy named Brian Carr from Tulsa thought it would be a good idea to make himself look like a world-class asshole and share a long Facebook post about a bad experience he created at Mexicali Border Cafe near Downtown Tulsa.
I guess Brian stopped by the eatery with a large group of church friends this past Sunday afternoon.
Naturally, they had the server split the bill into separate tickets, and when it came time to pay, Brian didn't appreciate the $4.55 18% auto-gratuity that was applied to the tab.
As opposed to just paying the tip and being on his way, he caused a scene, complained to management, and threatened not to pay it. Since the auto-grat policy was clearly printed on the back of the menu, the restaurant called the cops on him!
You can check out a screenshot of his FB post below. Remember, he shared this embarrassing story that's a sad reflection of his true character voluntarily:
Seriously, why would anyone share a story like that on social media? Is he trying to make himself look as bad and cheap as possible, or explain why he doesn't have any friends? Was it too hot for him to stand outside the place holding a giant sign that said "Look at me! I'm a cheap asshole!"
Brian's post was public and quickly went viral on the platform. Most of the comments and shares mocked him for being the exact type of shitty-tipping church group customer that makes every waiter, bartender, and service employee ask off on Sundays.
As the post spread on social media and the criticism mounted, Brian eventually took it down, but not before someone claiming to be his server at Mexicali hopped on to share her side of the story:
That's awesome. I'd like to give a huge fist bump to Kara, Mexicali, and its management for standing their ground and making this asswipe pay his $4.55 tip.
If you're a cheap ass who doesn't want to adequately tip someone for waiting on you and your boring friends for over an hour, go to Taco Bell or another trashy fast food place that's more up your alley.
Anyway, since the cops were called out to the restaurant, I thought it would be fun to file an open records request to see any police reports or body cam footage from the incident. If I get it, I'll share it with you.
Stay with The Lost Ogle, and don't forget to tip your waitresses and bar staff.
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Don't be a Brian. Brian sucks...
Sorry, but I’m with Brian. Auto-tips are bullshit. I tip liberally, but requiring it of me or demanding it advance (as I often see with online orders) is just entitled bullshit. I’m paying for the food already, and if I think the service is worthy, I tip (which pretty much always happens anyway). I am not responsible for repairing whatever shitty wage your manager is paying you.
No, that’s also bullshit. Hiding it on the back of the menu is not “clearly” printing it. That is not reasonable notice. Why would anyone even look at the back of the menu? If you want to be clear, put a sign on the front door.
I agree with that. That policy needs to be as visible as possible.
I worked my way thru college waiting tables. None of the places I worked at had auto grats. So, in defense of the practice, let me say that large parties can be a server's worst nightmare. First you have to get everyone seated. Then there's the drink order and hauling that from the bar or drink station. Then there's getting the appetizers out before any meals are served. Taking everyone's meal order. Then hauling that from the kitchen to the table.
I waited on church parties. They don't tip well if at all. Servers don't make minimum wage for the most part and have to make it up on tips. If you have a party of 8 or more and nobody tips you, you spent an awful lot of time and hard work to make $2.35/hour (that's what it was when I was waiting tables). I wish the places I worked at had the auto grat
In many restaurants, servers pay out tip share, so if large parties don't tip, the server actually ends up paying to wait on them.
I waited tables for $2.01 per hour plus tips in the 80's. the policies in the restaurant that I worked were 1 check per table, no children's menu, and any party over 6 agreed to an automatic gratuity of 15% before making a reservation or being seated. when I was new I had to work the church crowds every sunday.
for months I would end up with the same family of 6 on sunday that would camp out in my station for hours after they finished eating and then sit there for hours while discussing bible scripture. their bill would always exceed $100 and they would always tip $5. the patriarch owned a family friendly business and starred in his own commercials on local TV.
being relatively new I didn't want to be rude to them, but they tied up the biggest table in my station that I needed to turn it a few times to make any money. finally one sunday, the head waiter was working and I was whining to him about this table. he met me at the table and explained to the guy that we were getting backed up in the front and that we needed the table. he suggested they continue their discussion in the lounge. the guy's answer was "we don't drink, that they didn't want to move to the lounge, and that they would be leaving shortly". 30 minutes later they were still there, so the head waiter and I stripped the table of all glasses, utensils, and china and I never saw them in the restaurant again.
I hated when people would camp out at a table. They weren't ordering anything else and just sitting there gabbing. Some of my friends want to do that when we go out but I know that restaurants depend on turnover so I'm grabbing my purse and telling everyone I'm going outside for a smoke and I'll meet you there. Always works. None of them ever waited tables
Different cultures. In France, an ordinary restaurant expects two seatings per meal, no more. Perhaps waitstaff is better remunerated. Waiting tables doesn't have the same desperate reputation as in the US.
Most restaurants print the gratuity policy for large parties right on the menu.
No reason a server should have to pay for some jackass.
It's not only the shitty wage. Servers and bartenders are TAXED on a percentage of their food & beverage totals to cover the tips as income. I think it is downright shitty that a server gets crapped on by people who still believe that tips are free & clear money - IT IS NOT. They are taxed for tips - that is why there are so many copies of restaurant tickets now - the tickets are totaled & the servers are taxed for a certain percentage of those tickets. If they don't get tipped they pay out of pocket for the amount. It makes a lot of servers & bartenders leave the business - guess you all want to eat at the McDonalds drive thru.
They started that crap back in 1984? 85? Then it was 8% of all your sales.
Yep. I know it was mid 80s. I think it is still 8%.
Thank christ they haven't increased that!
most POS systems automatically claim all charge tips as income and servers are usually expected to declare 10% of cash sales less any tip outs the server pays out.
We need to do away with tipping. Pay the workers what they deserve and price the service or product accordingly, then I'll decide whether or not I think it's worth buying. As it stands now and for many years I've avoided any business that expects tipping whenever possible, I've never been forced to auto-tip but it would be the last time I ate there.
What pisses me off is all the types of vendors who have no business including a tipping step in their payment screen. You handed me an overpriced can of beer from the cooler behind you and think that’s worthy of a tip, yet the person who scans and bags my cart full of groceries doesn’t. Get a clue.
It's built into the Point Of Sale software these companies are now being required to use.
I get that, but there must be a way to bypass that step because I’ve experienced some vendors whose system does not include that step. If their choice is to include it for a type of goods that should have nothing to do with tipping then they can go fuck themselves. I won’t be surprised when grocery stores start doing it too, in conjunction with slashing the hourly salary of their checkout people.
There is. Click 'none' or '0'. I do it all the time when I purchase something at the counter that doesn't require them to more than put it in a bag for me.
At the coffee shop, if I asked for something more than poring coffee in a cup and handing it to me I tip 17% in the POS screen. If it was just a cup of already over priced coffee I hit the 'none'.
No, those fuckers continue to increase the amount of auto checkout stations where they can eliminate paying jobs altogether. Unless I'm in a real hurry I'll stand in line.
I agree. Seems like that would be something you can, or should be able to, toggle on and off.
I don't know why seeing a "tip" line, on a ticket I don't expect it to be on, gives me so much pause, but it does. Makes me run through the list of questions. Do these MFers expect a tip? Am I the only MFer that questions whether or not I have been treated to a service, worthy of tipping? And, what exactly was the service again?
I get irritated when I see it at Subway and Panera. Sometimes I say no tip but sometimes I'll tip a dollar
Wife and I went to a place called McAllister's for lunch. Good meal. Needed a refill (listed as "free") for my wife's drink. The server behind the counter put some ice in her cup and added 'bout 1/4 drink and rang up the register. I mentioned that the refill was free, as stated on three of the boards and in the menus. The server said - "You're not going to tip me"? Asked "for what - the free refill"? and the response was - "No, for my service". Turned around, left the drink, got my wife and we left - never to go back.
I worked as a bartender, waiter, bar-back, busboy, maitre-de and restaurant manager for many years to pay for my school and afterwards for a potential future back in the late 70's/early 80's. Like Trout mentioned, my highest hourly wage paid was $1.75 and the rest of the wages were from tips from the customers. There were times I made damn good money and times when I almost cried 'cause there wasn't enough - but, had my service/attitude been better, I "probably" would have made more in tips.
Point that I'm trying to make is - this BS of "requiring" a tip is going to kill a lot of businesses. If servers/workers perform their jobs to the satisfaction of the customers, they will receive a fair to good tip. The standard around here is 'bout 20% - but, we're a college town and we're trying to help our future leaders/workers make a living.
It "used to be" a standard "if there are more than six (6) in your party, the tickets will be given individually" which worked really well "back in the day" 'cause everyone knew what to expect. Today? Not so. I've seen/heard of groups of four (4) or more being given separate checks which could/can be beneficial in a number of ways for the customer and/or server.
If the service is bad, don't tip as much, usually 'bout 10%. If it is good - tip well - 20% or better. But it is your choice, not the restaurants.
If the service is bad, hire competent servers - simple.
Was that McAllister's Deli? I like their sandwiches. That person behind the counter was pretty arrogant to charge you a tip for refilling a drink
There is. Click 'none' or '0'. I do it all the time when I purchase something at the counter that doesn't require them to more than put it in a bag for me.
Oh I do it too, but that doesn’t change the fact that it shouldn’t be there in the first place. My stepson didn’t tip a guy who handed him an extremely overpriced can ($15) at an event we were at and the guy got salty about it.
Ok. I'll tip you 20%.
Luv their Angus Rib sandwich, slaw and sweet tea. Salads are awesome but that service/attitude is going to make me leary of returning for awhile.
Was at a concert Sunday night and had the same thing happen. A tip for reaching down, grabbing a shirt and handing it to me? Piss off.
100% agree.
How about you stop working at shitty jobs that require you to beg for extra money to make your rent? I mostly frequent the local restaurants that pay their employees a living wage with benefits. If more of you servers do it then these restaurants would have no choice but to pay you correctly.
That said it doesn't excuse "Brian" in the article from being a duchenozzle and causing a scene, but Brian isn't an excuse to make life's ills all about the customers either.
I know servers who make over $60k per year. One makes about $90k. Not too shabby!
Sure that's great for them. It wouldn't be one of those shitty jobs I'm talking about then.
He did say he was a former server. He probably worked there when he was in school. I waited tables and tended bar to pay my way.
I get that. I think everyone should do 3 years of compulsory military service too, but I'm probably in the minority there.
No, you're not. Do you think 3 years is long enough?
Yeah. I think 3 years is long enough for most people to get an understanding of how shitty a job being a junior enlisted person is and how shady some business are that prey on them.
I was being slightly sarcastic because I always thought there should be 2 years of compulsory service, but I like 3 better.
It could work if people weren't allow to buy a rank when they did their service
They all either start out as E1 like everyone else or defer to go to college and then apply as an officer and start as O1.
No, you're not.
Tipping expectations are way out of hand
Having lived in a few other countries where there is no tipping because the servers are paid a decent wage the tipping nonsense in the US is out of hand, IMO. Pay the people a decent wage and if a customer wants to tip on top of that, fine.
I do not want someone adding a tip to my bill, I will make that decision if the service is good I always tip.
He probably should have prayed on it before he made a fool out of himself. Dont like the automatic tip? Dont go back to the restaurant.
Agree, in some European countries, a standard service charge is already included in the bill, others (Germany, UK, Ireland) don't. I always rounded up to the next denomination to avoid change and added 5-10% for exceptional service.
I don't remember tipping in Asia, but it was expected in the Middle East and Northern Africa.
I never waited tables, but I did work other demanding, difficult and lower paid jobs in my younger days, so I understand what it's like to bust your ass.
Over the years I've learned some very simple rules that have enabled me to become quite successful.
Two of those that apply here are:
I've never understood people who cheap out at restaurants. If you want to save money, eat at home.
There is so much that goes on in a restaurant that is completely beyond the control of the waitstaff. Hold people accountable for the things they can actually control.
I’m in full agreement with Tacos sentiment about auto tipping. It’s BS. The other newish trick they use online is to offer a tip line but only give choices of like 15,20 & 30%. No custom choice. I cancel orders and never come back when they do that. 15% to pick up a bag yourself is BS.
As far service jobs I get tired of people whining about working a job they don’t like or make enough money. I dated servers in HS that were lapping my ass in wage because they worked their butts off and treated people well. It wasn’t unusual for some to make 300+ bucks in tips on a Friday or Saturday night. Not bad for the mid 70’s. Servers who didn’t work as hard and/or were pricks didn’t make as much and they whined back then as well.
The good servers tend to end up at the good places to work and make good money. The whiners? Not so much.