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Scientists Discover Birds Lied About Being Related To Dinosaurs

  

Category:  News & Politics

Via:  outis  •  9 months ago  •  3 comments

By:   The Onion

Scientists Discover Birds Lied About Being Related To Dinosaurs



In a shocking revelation that left the entire ornithological community reeling, Cornell University scientists reportedly discovered Tuesday that birds had lied about being related to dinosaurs.



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It's s-o-o-o-o sad...


S E E D E D   C O N T E N T


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In a shocking revelation that left the entire ornithological community reeling, Cornell University scientists reportedly discovered Tuesday that birds had lied about being related to dinosaurs. "For decades, birds literally looked us in the eye and claimed they descended from theropods—and it was all a stupid lie!" said Professor Tracy Rheiner, who slammed the entire Aves class for feeding scientists "total bullshit" for years that essentially rendered ornithologists' collective work worthless. "I've been publishing papers using what they told me! Does that mean anything to them? This is my career we're talking about. We look like fucking idiots! What the hell is the public going to say when they find out?"

Rheiner went on to state that birds were probably lying about being related to Princess Diana, too.


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Outis
Freshman Expert
1  seeder  Outis    9 months ago

You simply cannot trust a chicken! 

 
 
 
TOM PA
Freshman Silent
1.1  TOM PA  replied to  Outis @1    9 months ago

A vegan once told me, "Never eat anything that eats with its pecker!"  

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
2  Kavika     9 months ago

Most birds are liars, especially parrots, chickens and turkeys, I'd say they speak with forked tongue but that's snakes. 

Someday I'll tell you the story of how the bat came to be, it's not pretty.

 
 

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