10 Achievements Biden Will Cover Tonight During The State Of The Union
Another State of the Union address is upon us! As frightening as that may be to hear, it is important for the American people to hear from the president and find out about all the things that have been accomplished in the last year.
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
Another State of the Union address is upon us! As frightening as that may be to hear, it is important for the American people to hear from the president and find out about all the things that have been accomplished in the last year.
The Babylon Bee has obtained an exclusive advance copy of Biden's speech, in which he will cover the following achievements:
- Creation of several brand new words: This will be accomplished just during the speech itself.
- Finalization of the Louisiana Purchase: He will announce he hammered out the deal with Napoleon last week.
- The Mexico-Egypt border has been totally secured and there are no problems down there whatsoever: But if there is a problem, it's the MAGA Republicans' fault.
- War with Samoa has been averted: Diplomacy has won out despite Biden's primary loss on Tuesday.
- Unprecedented financial security for Ukrainian oligarchs: We can't allow these dear people to face retirement without a solid nest egg.
- Imported millions of new voters: It's a brand new America, folks.
- Raised dementia awareness: Americans have never been so keenly aware of the signs of senility.
- Record number of military personnel wearing skirts: Some of them are even women.
- Earned a gold star for going potty in the toilet three days in a row: Breaking his personal record.
- Became the first president in history to bring the country to the brink of civil war, revolutionary war, and world war simultaneously: The history books are being re-written right before our eyes.
Looking at the list above, it's plain to see that it's ridiculous for anyone to claim Joe Biden doesn't do anything. Just think of what he could do with four more years!
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Maybe the pro-Palestinians will show up!
If they do, it will be to protest Biden.
I'm pretty sure there will be a representative number in attendance.
biden is kicking serious ass so far
Joe Kilt It!
It the goal was to get out as much wrong information as possible, then yes he "kilt it".
While being as angry as he possibly could.
Dark Brandon was unleashed to lie his ass off.
And his lemmings believed every word.
Did that stupid mother fucker just threaten the justices on the Supreme Court?
biden is doing a tour de force. if he keeps it up for another half an hour y'all will be crying in your beer
I don’t drink or do drugs, drug addicts should be euthanized for the good of society. Anyone who has been addicted to drugs is a weak pussy.
ok, cry on your pillow
There is nothing that senile pos can say that will erase the massive failure his term has been. But keep dreaming.
he doesnt look senile tonight, does he?
stop making shit up
Sure he does, he’s fumbling his words and loses he train of thought.
I’m sure his handlers have him amped to the max.
lol. you are hallucinating
No John, I’m just not a partisan.
Thanks for an unbiased opinion of Joe's performance
Yes hedoes
MSNBC talked about a poll today. 50% of the college students surveyed said they did not watch Joe last night. The other 50% didn't know the state of the union was last night.
I think that was Joe hallucinating.
Sure sounded like it. That’s when I tuned it off. Biden’s managed to make me consider voting for trump, something i didn’t think possible. Biden the destroyer of norms is a menace.
What a disgrace to the country that speech was.
the right wing fantasy that biden is out of it is in flames tonight
Lmfao.
The left wing fantasy is that the last three years never happened. No speech will change the disaster he has been.
: Biden’s performance notably seems to be flagging as the speech goes on.
“When you get to be my age, certainthingsgettobekeererthanever” … one of the things that doesn’t get clearer is the second half of Biden’s sentences.”
It’s takes a true hero to read other people’s words off a teleprompter for more than an hour.
from what realm to you delve?
The realm that shows biden’s approval rating in the toilet.
The opinion of a Bidenista means very little or nothing when saying how he did last night. Joe could have shit on the stage and left and he would still have gotten great reviews that his shit was perfectly formed.
The real question is how the independents feel about it and if it swayed anyone in his direction. Did they buy the bullshit that he was spewing or do they believe their own eyes and see the SOTU as a campaign speech and not a SOTU at all?
We shall see.
Biden - Harris 2024
Does this stupid fucker actually think corporations pay taxes?
Of course he does. All leftists do. Even those that run corporations and increase the price on their products every time the tax rate is hiked.
Show of hands who here is stupid enough to believe someone who makes a billion only pays 8% in taxes.
Biden instead of whining about a bill that doesn’t exist, tell Schumer to pass HR2
And then?..
Joe is embarrassing himself and our country
I wonder what speech he is watching
i wonder what speech you are watching
“He touts and proposes specific policies. He shares specific anecdotes to bolster those proposals. He is a president with ideas and accomplishments,”
Why has he waited so long to propose those great ideas?
Some bitter angry old guy.
Biden is toast.
our national jagoff speaks -
He is obviously watching brain dead joe
I wonder if they are on sale at Amazon
That's everyday that ends in "Y".
Morons on twitter are complaining that he is showing too much energy.
Maybe because it’s very unusual for biden to show energy. I think his handlers went to far with his “preparation.”
Yeah, I think Hunter was trying to help the old man out too...
Using too much of his son's drugs. You probably won't see him for a couple days
It’s his only public appearance this week. Back to the isolation chamber. Can’t expect a president to do two things in a week
this was a kick ass speech that not many people were expecting.
read em and weep
That he has to pander To the far left to appease people like you shows how desperate he is. He can’t even pretend to be appeal to the middle for fear his base will push him out. This was all about making people like you happy enough to keep him on the ballot, not to persuade normal Americans or provide leadership.
This speech was about the fantasy that people like you have that he is mentally addled and shoving it down your throat.
It doesn't even matter what he said
So 4 plus years of very visible cognitive impairment is erased by one “highly prepped” speech? Dream on.
Now that's funny...
It doesn't even matter what he said
No shit…
you are celebrating because he stood upright and spoke mostly coherently for an hour plus. Think about that
Biden is going to ban assault weapons and high capacity magazines. In the real world states are declaring themselves constitutional carry states.
Making promises he know he can't keep. Big surprise from lyin biden
Biden is now showing his antisemitism.
This is the most disgusting Israel-bashing speech I’ve ever heard from a US president. Biden starts off his discussion of Oct. 7th by talking about how “gut-wrenching” it has been for both sides. After a cursory mention of the Oct. 7th massacre, he launches into a much longer and more passionate attack on Israel for suffering in Gaza, during which he accepted Hamas casualty figures that his own administration has questioned. He climbed down from his initial position of supporting Israel’s effort to destroy Hamas to saying they have a right to “go after Hamas.” Even has administration works behind the scenes to undermine Israel’s mission every day.
are you sure you wouldn't rather talk about the last 6+ centuries of history the mackerel snapper church has with jews?
Did Biden just say he signed 400 bipartisan bills?
They just showed Jill, she looks scared that the drugs are about to wear off.
Somebody help grandpa find his way home.
rothkopf is speaking from the cartel/sex and human trafficker perspective.
So you think that speech is going to finally boost him above Trump?
The true test will be when he has to debate, not read a prepared speech but when he has to think on his feet.
Trump thinks on defeat ?
I’m pretty used to seeing republicans disrespectfully toying with their phones and refusing to act tactfully during democratic SOU speeches, but this was ridiculous. They looked like a pack of heavily medicated mental patients tonight. They are an enormous embarrassment to our country.
Embarrassment to our country?
I didn’t see any cognitive decline tonight, all I saw was more facts, figures, and coherent speech than I could ever muster. You saw it too. Stop denying it.
He read a speech prepared by Others. You can’t do that?
Trump can't.
there are a lot of embarrassing Republican speeches, but this is right up there near the front
why does she constantly sound like is ready to start crying?
You’re not crying and clutching your pearls?
Terrible.
Next.
Because unlike the worthless bastard who just spoke to congress, she has empathy and cares about American citizens and faces the same struggles that all Americans face and isn’t an angry elitist jackass like Biden.
she probably thinks she done real good
half whispering and pretending to be on the verge of tears - that was amateur night X 10
How many boxes of tissues did you go through during that dramatization?
so Biden doesn't care, but she and Trump, really do care about being fair...?
I’m sorry, did you imagine I wrote trump somewhere in my comment?
None, any other questions I can help you with?
Yeah, not like the guy who called a murdered girl by the wrong name (when challenged to finally. Finally say it) the one time he went off script and then promised to build a port to help terrorists half way across world while also claiming he was powerless to protect Americans.
real bang up job
[deleted]
Katie Elizabeth Britt (née Boyd ; born February 2, 1982) is an American politician and attorney who is the junior United States senator from Alabama since 2023. A member
sigh……more misogyny.
somebody pranked her
whee !!!
she reminds me of the goody 2 shoes teacher amy squirrel in that movie bad teacher...
I can hardly wait for her sordid history to spill out in the media...
Probably involves only fans.
she did seem to get pretty excited about that xenophobic gang rape fantasy...
to you and any and everybody else, there is no impasse, as it would be an impassability , yet i achieved it when i dropped laptop grabbin my damn BEER
LOL
These are people who spent months performatively acting out over the death of a drug addicted, career criminal who threatened a pregnant woman with a gun (and Biden knew his actual name). They can’t imagine someone feeling empathy for a murdered young nursing student so they mock it. Mention the illegal who murdered the girl and they’ll cry over him and how sad it is he’ll be punished.
Good thing they have Dick Durban to protect violent illegals from getting locked up.
What is truly fucked up about Biden? He canonized a drug addicted felon while demonizing a young man who defended himself against violent rioters.
Twitter is now pointing out that those democrats tweeting about Biden calling an illegal an illegal have never so much as mentioned the murder.
Biden showed strength and resolve. Compare that to Trump who generally sounds totally unhinged and pathetic.
Mike Johnson looks like a very small man. Weak and ineffectual.
that thumper wimp is afraid of maggie green, and after seeing the side by side, the VP could take him easy...