Secret Service Vows To Find Out What Went Wrong At The Trump Rally As Soon As They Figure Out Who Left Cocaine In The White House
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As authorities sought to piece together the puzzle of glaring security failures in the attempted assassination of former President Donald Trump, the Secret Service vowed to find out what went wrong at the Trump rally as soon as they figure out who left cocaine in the White House.
"One mystery at a time, people," Secret Service spokesperson Jeanine Harper. "We'll get right on that once we finally get to the bottom of this conundrum about who could have possibly left a bag of cocaine in the White House. All in good time."
Federal agents reportedly remained stumped regarding the source of the White House cocaine despite working closely with President Biden's son, Hunter, to follow the trail. "He's the cocaine expert," Harper explained. "His knowledge of blow and where it can be obtained and preferred hiding places is invaluable. We'll figure it out one of these days. Once we do, we'll totally get to the bottom of the whole Trump shooter thing. Trust us."
Sources within the Secret Service disclosed that agents had agreed to Hunter's plan to have him purchase large quantities of cocaine and stash them in various places within the White House to help investigators hone their skills.
At publishing time, government insiders said they believed solving the issues surrounding the attempted assassination of Trump would be just as easy as learning the identity of the Jan 6 pipe bomber.
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This is a good one, Greg. And...nice ass
We all know Don Jr. left the cocaine in the WH. And speaking of Don Jr. Donald Trump said yesterday that Don Jr. has a great wife.....
One problem...
Don Jr. isn't married.
Exactly, Hunter used crack.The smart money says both culprits were Republican.
Thread 3 is locked to keep things from getting worse
Aww it was just gettin' good!
The FBI should have the 'intelligence' removed from it's name and changed to 'incompetence'.
These are the same idiots that can't figure out who stole and released the Supreme Court's overturning of Roe V Wade off of a closed computer system.
These are the same idiots that can't figure out how cocaine got into one of the most secure areas of the White House. (If as some claim it is Don Jr's; then it sat there for over 3 damn years!) If it is not then someone who knew how to get past all of the security systems and personnel patrolling the area put it there. Sorry for those wanting to blame Trump- he and his administration were scrubbed from having that type of access. Then it comes out that this even the first occurrence since Biden took office of drugs being found at the WH. There is incompetent, and then there is being criminally incompetent.
Maybe they need to spend less time hunting down every last person that was even near DC on Jan 6th; harassing parents taking an interest in their children's education; and manufacturing bullshit against Trump- and more time concentrating on doing what is supposed to be their jobs- securing the president and DC; counter intelligence; and tracking down real criminals.
For reals, this was actually funny
They need to hire rev Jim from Taxi .
Jim: takes sample , sniffs , gives scientific name for cocaine , states it came from bolivia , the eastern slope of a mountain in a specific region , during a drought year with specific ground conditions and fertilizer standards , gives a specific year range between x and y .
If they can determine the vintage year , they can figure out which admin it came from from clinton on up to present .
I hope that was funny .
you just saw the same bit when he did it with spiked/ laced cookies on the show in your mind .
It was funny. I always liked Jim