DOGE By The Numbers
Elon Musk, the leader of DOGE, claims the organization's sweeping cuts have already saved the government $55 billion.
Gee... When a zillionaire starts saving my money, it makes me feel all warm inside.
You?? You take care of yourself, right? No retirement. No healthcare. No problem...
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
Elon Musk, the leader of DOGE, claims the organization's sweeping cuts have already saved the government $55 billion. The Onion examines the key facts and figures behind the Department Of Government Efficiency.
20,000: Free lunch sandwiches confiscated from schoolchildren's mouths mid-bite
17: Cancer research breakthroughs successfully averted
45: Minutes per meeting spent looking at videos on Elon Musk's phone
83: FAA employees left between you and a Boeing 747 crashing into your house
10%: Group discount on department fake ID order
13,000: Federal employees laid off via meme
500: Nut taps distributed
253: Number of scorned public servants currently writing manifestos
8: Times Elon Musk has tried to explain why the agency name is funny to Trump
Whatever
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But... but... but... Musk isn't really the head of DOGE, right? He's just one of many White House advisors. Right?
I mean... the White House knows who's doing what, right?
Right?