9/11: Personal Musings, 13 Years Later
My youngest son started college this month. He was in 1st grade on 9/11/01.
I travel to NYC 2-3 times a year. My head still snaps back when I look south from the 59th St. Bridge.
I can't talk about it when I'm at the memorial down on Wall St.
I didn't visit the actual site until 2012. Couldn't go back. I needed to muster all my courage to visit 2 years ago.
I've gone from a white knuckle, gritted teeth feeling to a deep melancholia when I visit downtown these last few years.
I can't go to the memorial without seeing the name of someone I knew who worked in the towers. I never counted, but I knew more than 150 on a nod/smile basis. I worked in the North Tower for couple of years.
I've lost loved ones, but never weep on the anniversary of their passing as I do today.
I'm too sad to feel angry, but do take note of the fact that we have never adequately addressed a means of preventing the followers of the same school of thought from repeating this offense.
I discuss the day with my children every year, because I feel it's important to engage in a conscious, verbal discussion in order to properly remember the day. Those things that we forget become trivial.
I am of the firm belief that I live in the greatest country in the world. Despite the feeling that we were once greater, I believe that we remain great. There are things that chip away at that greatness, but a terror attack that knocks down buildings and murders 3,000+ people is not one of those things.
I welcome to you to add your own personal musings. On this topic, please do your best to remain thoughtful and respectful. I'll only make that request once a year. Do your best.
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Its now 13 years, I had an appointment in the area on Broadway 2 years ago, which was in 2011, I have not visited the site, its just too sad, other than that appointment, the nearest I have gone to the World Trade Center is City Hall, Century 21 was my favorite place to shop, I especially like walking on Nassau Street and visiting those Boutiques where the most unusual clothing could be found from very talented designers, that was my favorite lunch time past time, then eating at Zuccotti Park, where the Occupy Wall Street folks had taken over, the park was another lunch time hang out on days when the weather was nice, also on the walls of the Trade Center, people would sit and chat and eat and listen to street music and watch the street vendors and just enjoy being in NYC....I worked at (1) One Liberty Plaza just a few years before the tragedy which is just across the street from World Trade Center, shopping in the stores at the World Trade was also a lot of fun...
This is something I truly believe, I do not think there were only 3,000 people killed, those two towers alone must have had more than 50,000 people working there, this was a 24 hour operation, plus there were the stores and the trains coming into the stations below the building, how about, this happened at approx, 8:50 A.M the height of Rush Hour, people getting off the subway # 1, 2, 4, 5 A, E and the Path to New Jersey, there is something we are not been told about the number of people killed, I was on my way to work in Midtown, when the train I was on was delayed before we got the Grand Central Station, and no communication, the train just dumped us out at Grand Central...
I don't think they know exactly how many people were killed, but just my estimation, Guiliani was Mayor and Pataki was Governor, two Republicans, GWB President, do you actually think they want the world to know how may more people were killed on their watch??? not good for politics, but, Me, just working in the area and know the crowds of people getting off at that train station and this was in the height of rush hour into those two buildings, I cannot adequately explain the numbers of people entering those buildings in the mornings, plus, there are people working in the overnight shifts that were getting reading to leave their shifts, imagine for a moment, a small town of approximately 50,000 people gathered in one place, that's about the numbers of people working in those two buildings, plus, the authorities do not want any more panic than necessary...
I was moving from one patient room to the next on three east at Altru hospital in Grand Forks. We had witnessed a massive flood and the total evacuation of 50,000 plus people in our own town just 4 years earlier; And, we were just sorta getting rebuilt in many places, and people were still doing renovations. It was costly and time consuming. But no one died.
As this tragedy unfolded, I witnessed both patient's and employee's apprehension turn from fear to anxiety, to confusion, and then back again. Even with the past experience of seeing unfathomable things transpire right in front of your eyes when the flood struck, this was horror on an entire new level. It was surrealistic and yet all too true. By the time the second tower fell, folks eyes were glistening, and there was an eerie silence, but for the drone of the passionate broadcasters on TV. The instantaneous mourning was palpable. The soon thereafter felt hatred, was and is, righteous. As long as I live I will never forget thosefew hours that morning, that day, or the few days following. those welost deserve our remembrance, the ones lost attempting to rescue deserve our honor, and those responsible deserve annihilation.
This is a big celebration day for these mf'ers.
Suppositions they are, but unless you have worked and know the area, 3,000 dead it has to be much more than that, People coming from New Jersey, Long Island, Connecticut, Staten Island all over several train lines running under the building filled to capacity with people, yes, most escaped, but several were already at work at their desks, this was a 24hour building with all sorts of activity, 3,000 it is not, its much more..
This subway stop for The World Trade/Wall Street is so packed, when the people have exited, the train is a little lighter to travel onto Brooklyn, I cannot express it enough, but the trains are packed past capacity and most everyone gets off before its next stop in Brooklyn...
Some Subways Found Packed Past Capacity
This article about the subway has nothing to do with 9/11 I just wanted to give you an idea of how over crowded I believe the trains were that morning, I have been there its usually takes about 15-20 minutes just to get out of the train station after getting off the train and going through the turnstiles...Again I want to emphasize, this happened at the height of rush hour, people waiting on elevators to get to their floors, people already on elevators, people in the coffee shops or restaurants in the building, you have no idea, those building were just like you would have a city within a building, everything was there...
JR: 343 Firefighters were killed that day:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/September_11_attacks
Are these people above included in the 3,000 number???
That is just my belief JR, unless many thousands of people just did not show up for work, I believe there were more not accounted for, if this happened on a weekend, I could accept the numbers we are been told, this was a Tuesday, it was Primary voting day, no special day off for workers, by just doing an analysis of a typical working day and the numbers of people in that area, I think there were more, Yes, many escaped. but, I think more were trapped..Ok...I am now done with the subject...
Anger, sadness, hate, love, PTSD, a smell that I couldn't get out of my nose for months.
I tried to protect my daughters from the ugliness I witnessed. That was not meant to be. I couldn't proctect them from the damage that was inflicted from the stories that teachers told and the acrid smoke that covered the most of north shore of Long Island, kept the children in at recess for almost a week.
I love New York. It's more than where I live. That day they tried to take it away from all of us who live here. But we are stronger than their hate.
But I hate today. I never turn on the TV. I can't see it again. I can't even turn my head to the south coming over the LIE to see the gap in the sky even today.
Thank you for your post, Perrie.
I wasn't certain whether or not you'd respond.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
I wasn't sure either. Looked at it all day and couldn't decide. Late at night.... it gives you time to reflect.
Thanks for putting this article up. It's a day to "never forget".