Observations and Reflections – A Tour of Western Kentucky Restrooms
We have had a wonderful week, on vacation. The three of us, (John, Peep, and I), with our three dogs, (Tommy, Freddie, and Lulu), AND our three cats, (Pharaoh, Boo Bear, and Andy), drove down to Cave City to stay in our 5 th wheel camper for the week!
The day after we arrived, we made a short trip to Camping World, in Bowling Green, KY, to purchase some needed items for the camper. Several running lights had fallen off, our carpet on the outside steps had ripped, etc. Not to mention, they had flamingo picnic table cloth weights, which match our lights, our table cloth, the two flamingos we put out, etc. Next to Camping World is a store called Gander Mountain, which is a sporting goods store.
Gander Mountain is a very large store, specializing in a wide variety of items to kill things. Want a gun rack for your kayak? Gander Mountain has it! Since I had taken a dose of Sudafed and had drunk about four quarts of green tea to combat the ensuing dry mouth, naturally, after an hour in Camping World, and an hour in Gander Mountain, I felt the need for the restroom. No big deal, it was down a hall, hidden behind a large assortment of handguns. I went in, shut the door, flipped the lock, and was all set. It was about 40o in there, and I was shivering by the time I was ready to leave, but, low and behold, the lock on the door had jammed. I was stuck.
I called, Help! Help! Im stuck in the restroom!! for a while, to no avail. I looked around and up in the corner was a camera, so I took off my shirt, (shielded by the walls of the stall), and, by standing on the commode, I could reach over the side of the stall, and wave it around for a few minutes. It was a futile effort. I put my shirt back on and reconnoitered.
Whoever it is that designs public restrooms must be 7 tall, because even standing on the commode, and putting my eyeball up as high as possible, I couldn't see over the side of the stall. Fortunately for me, the door did not go all the way down, and looking at the opening, I thought that if I lay on my back and scooted, maybe I could get out. It was going to be a tight fit.
By this time, I was really cold, and wondering if my husband and son were missing me at all, or if I was doomed to stay in there until the cleaning lady came, slowly congealing in the cold. I lay down on the floor, shut my thoughts to potential germs, and pushed against the commode to slide forward under the door. Freedom!!! I washed my hands thoroughly, and joined my family outside in the store, shivering, next to the freeze dried ice cream for back-packers.
The next day, we took a road trip to far western KY. We took I65 down to Bowling Green, up the William Natcher X-way to the Western KY Parkway and exited at Eddyville. We stopped in Eddyville at a Hardees and bought sandwiches for a picnic, and then, we drove down to the new Mineral Mounds State Park. I sampled the restroom at Hardees, which was clean, but the wall tile was set an angle, so that it produced an optical illusion of the floor coming up while the wall tilted. It was unsettling, and I left as soon as possible.
Outside, it was HOT, but not. Typical Kentucky weather, where the temperature is in the high 80s and the humidity is nearly 100%. As long as there was a breeze from the lake, it was bearable. We found the boat ramp with 4 picnic tables under some trees, and sat by the water to eat our lunch, watching the boats in and out, and seeing a small bit of a bay on Lake Barkley. Long about half way through lunch, the cooling breeze died, and I began to feel woozy from the heat. So, after we had eaten, we drove up to the golf store on the hill.
Mineral Mounds State Park has a golf course that is listed as one of the top 5 in the nation, and it is beautiful-- well kept, scenic, with views of the lake, and everyone zipping by on golf carts appeared to be having a good time. I walked in, to get information about the park, because we thought it would be a great camping spot. Well, it would be, if they had a campground, which they dont. Since my innards were roiling around, I decided to use their public restroom.
Its reserved for golfers, the girl at the desk told me. I looked at her in disbelief.
Golfers only? This is a state park! Where are the non-golfer restrooms? I asked, a bit testily.
We aint got none, she replied.
There was no excuse for this! I was dressed nicely with my hair up, and aside from looking pasty white, I was ultimately presentable. Nicer than the golfers, I may add. I looked at her in the eyes, and said, Maam, if you dont want me to have an accident all over your nice clean little golf shop, you had better show me the restroom. I am a Kentucky resident, and my taxes, all my life, have paid for this park. I feel sure you do NOT wish me to report this sad state of affairs to the Commissioner.
She complied, all aflutter. I must have been fierce, for once... The restroom was tiny, and painted a bright shade of lime green, which didn't help my complexion in the mirror.
We left, and drove across Lake Barkley to get to The Trace, the road that runs north/south through Land Between the Lakes, to the Elk/Bison prairie. We drove through and saw a bison, up close. He was lying in a nice muddy wallow, his mammoth head covered in mud and goo, and seemed to be very content.
The rest of the herd was up in the hills, and we could see about 50 bison, babies running around and all, in one giant heap up in the hills. We drove around the loop twice, and finally found one elk. We could see his body, but he was feeding in the tall grass, so all we could see of him was the tip of his antlers, about 4 from his body, and we weren't sure if they were HIS antlers, or maybe a moving, velvet covered stick. He finally stuck his head up to look at us, and MY, was he pretty!
By this time, my stomach was getting more and more queasy, and I thought it would be a really good idea to go and see the Visitor Center, and sample their restroom. We drove the 5 miles down to the Visitor Center, and I stumbled in and tried their restroom. Everything there is Extremely Environmentally Safe, so the toilet paper was about the consistency of cheap tissue paper, which dissolves in your hand as you unwind it, leaving bits stuck to you. I was not impressed. But, the facility was clean, and the gift shop was Marvelous. I bought a beautiful bowl with green, blue, and yellow dragon flies, and a stand, and it can be a serving dish, a decoration, or a bird bath, whichever one has the need for.
Next, we headed for Kentucky Dam Village, which is at the dam of Kentucky Lake. It, too, has a golf course, but it also has a lodge, (nice restroom, better toilet paper), cabins, campgrounds, and all the amenities one could want! (State vs Federal.) Ive camped at Kentucky Dam Village since I was a little girl, and it is well-maintained, chock full of fun things to do, and a wonderful vacation spot!
Then, we turned east, to go to Grand Rivers, KY, and Patties Place, THE restaurant of the area. Patties Place opened when I was still in college at Murray, and we used to go there for a treat with our parents to eat REALLY good food. Pattis Place has expanded from a small restaurant, into a HUGE restaurant, petting zoo, shops, secluded private gazebos, a large Chinese pavilion, and a lovely little mountain stream that turns a water wheel and tumbles and eddies here and there. The landscaping is fascinating and unique, and the stores are darling!
The inside of the restaurant is decorated with antiques along the line of Cracker Barrel, but are interspersed between lovely grape vines and every silk flower known to mankind. It is utterly charming, and one does not mind waiting for a table, as there is too much to see.
Pattis restroom was very clean, decorated well, private, and had WONDERFUL toilet paper. Of all the restrooms I visited that day, it was #1 on my hit parade. After dinner, we headed back toward the camper. I lay in the passenger side seat, an inert lump, and clung to the thought of our camper, out there somewhere, with its own nice little bathroom. The addition of Pattis chicken on top of the Hardees, the heat, the cold air from the cars air conditioner, and the constant sinus drainage had effectively rendered my entire digestive system to be a mess.
Down there, they call the Western Kentucky Parkway, I69. The only interstate that I know named I69 begins in Indianapolis and continues through Fort Wayne. This had NO reference to the Western Kentucky Parkway, so we naturally missed the turn and found Cadiz, Kentucky, former home of my grandparents across-the-street neighbors, The Brame family, years ago. We were only about 30 miles off course. I waved at what used to be their house, and we stopped there for me to run into a gas station.
UGH. None too clean, I flushed and it was so powerful, I thought I was going to be sucked down into the bowels of the sewer system, to be spit out into Lake Barkley somewhere.
We continued our journey, stopping every 30 miles or so for a restroom. The restroom at a truck stop in Muhlenberg County had rolls of copy-type paper that wouldn't tear, unless you pulled it out and tore it between your fingers. Not only that, but it was busy, and every time someone ran the hand dryer, it would blow the paper out of the paper holder, until I was battling streamers of the paper, swatting them away futilely
By the time we got home at the camper, and I had my own little bathroom, I was weak from the diarrhea, nauseous from the heat/cold and the sinus drainage, feverish, and my legs and back hurt from riding in the car so long. We staggered up the steps, greeted by all the fur babies, and I finally got to put on my gown. Fortunately, after a bit, everything calmed down
Forrest Gumps observation that Life is a Box of Chocolates is very true when it comes to Western KY restroomsyou NEVER know what youre going to get! It is very interesting to compare Federal restrooms to the State restrooms, and the more private restrooms vs the gas station restrooms. I wasn't at a point in life to be picky...
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We had a wonderful time on our Day Trip, even though I was rather preoccupied with restrooms... However, I had never before seen that end of the state from a "restroom" perspective, so it was interesting!
If you ever get the chance, be sure to visit Patti's Place ! It is a wonderful restaurant!
Thanks! I was getting more desperate by the moment...
This was a state park, not a private club, too!!!
LOL,all I ever wanted to know about restrooms in KY, and then some...
Dowser ,
If you had done your civic duty while in Gander Mountain and bought a handgun you could have easily blasted your way out of the bathroom ! Just a thought
Kentucky here I come. I'm going to have to .......er........sample every restroom in Kentucky now that I've read this.
UGH! Me too!!!
I hate using public facilities, but there was absolutely no choice in the matter. I'm past the days of looking for suitable shrubbery...
Not a bad idea, that. I just read something, I think it was on CNN, that said you don't get ailments from the toilet seat, just the handle. By the time that day was over, my hands were about raw from scrubbing them...
John had his with him, concealed carry and all that, but he was out in the store somewhere. I didn't have my phone with me. I'm the only one that keeps up with a charger, and mine was dead, while his was charging on the camper cabinet...
Believe me, that thought occurred to me!
I can tell that you are looking forward to your journey! Ha!
There is nothing quite like feeling so sick when you're on vacation to have a good time...
Some of your comments and opinions regardingpoliticalmatters lead me to believe you have not protected yourself quite as much as you may think.
Here ya go;
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It's practically custom designed for you BF !
Great story Marsha, I hope you were able to enjoy your trip in spite of the less than desirable restrooms you encountered and the reason you had to visit so many of them.
Whenever I'm about to enter a public restroom, I take a deep breath before opening the door, because as you stated, you never know what your going to encounter. The air in some of those places, especially the ones close to or in the Metro NYC area, is just about unbreathable, unless you're from the Metro NYC area and your're used to the smell.
So is the reflection in the title a reference to musing or looking at the water in the bowl.....
Glad that you made it home alive.
LOL, Jerry-- somehow I don't think that is what BF had in mind... I like the thought of non-pinching!
UGH!!!
Fortunately, since I was having so much sinus trouble, I couldn't smell anything! Thank heavens!
Maybe even some of the bad stuff in life can be a blessing in disguise!
Thoughtful pondering, staring at these floors that presented optical illusions... Perhaps?
Thank you, dear friend-- I am glad to be home safely, and that the ailment has passed. I can see how people die from that.