Why We Are the People We Are
I miss the happiness, the innocence and the adventure of my childhood. I miss the America I grew up in! There is nothing political about this longing, but rather a statement on the cost of the progress, the changes to our psyche and our hearts and what we are missing out on in the 21st century.
I came from modest beginnings, but in some ways felt "richer" in my childhood than I do now in a comfortable retirement with a wonderful family. As I grow older I find that memories are more entertaining than anything coming out of the movie or television industry.
My childhood spanned the 50's and the 60's and things were different - parenting techniques, school, behavior in and out of the sight of our parents and the way we treated people (our friends, people older than us, people in positions of authority like teachers, policemen, etc.).
But what I miss most is the people with whom I shared my childhood - family, friends and acquaintances alike.
Each of those people played a role in what I am today and how I got here.
What do you miss/remember about your childhood? about the country you grew up in?
Share your memories or not, but be civil to those that do share.
Article is LOCKED by author/seeder
When I was in my teens, I had to take the bus everywhere. As the bus stopped at each bus stop, I would see working people waiting with lunch bags in their hands. It is a scene in my distant memory. Looking back, I can't begin to tell you how fond I am of those people.
Vic
I spent a lot of time on the bus as a youth as well, I remember paying a nickel, then a dime and finally a quarter and thinking "soon you will need to be rich to ride the bus"
We still gather for class reunions, but 50+ years later there are more missing faces each time we gather - I will never forget my childhood friends. They accepted me for what I was then and treat just the same after all these years apart.
In my case I have outlived friends whom I will never forget. It was all so innocent back then. I recall something from graduation. There was one tough no-nonsense Principal who gave a kind of farewell address. He wanted to say that if we ever found ourselves in trouble, we could call the school administration, but one of the wise ass kids interrupted him as soon as he said, "if you're ever in trouble," at which point the kid yelled out "We'll hold hands."
The Principal came right back with "You better hold hands - wait until you see what's out there." Just then I saw a tear flow from the eye of the mother of my friend.
Vic
I also remember the "old people" (teachers, coaches, neighbors, principals etc) that were always there when we needed them and though I didn't realize it at the time but they were our extended family.
At our 50th class reunion, we had one of our teachers (then in her 90's) who attended the reunion and spoke briefly to the class. She said "I remember each of you as if it were yesterday and I notice that you have not changed a bit. "
As I recall that speech I consider that high praise.
I miss them the most.
At our 50th class reunion, we had one of our teachers (then in her 90's) who attended the reunion and spoke briefly to the class. She said "I remember each of you as if it were yesterday and I notice that you have not changed a bit. "
That was nice.
i was in cub scouts, an altar boy, a patrol boy ( street crossing guard) , the second smartest boy in my eighth grade class (that was an actual award at Sacred Heart grammar school), and we played no equipment tackle football out on the midway. Tastee Freeze and White Castle. I had a Davy Crockett coonskin cap when I was younger.
nostalgia is totally normal.
nostalgia is totally normal.
Sounds like a great childhood
You are so right about nostalgia - it is totally normal, but more than that it is a necessary tonic for our mental health
I miss some things about my growing up years. Going barefoot all summer even tho it irritated my dad (I have money to buy you shoes...WEAR THEM!). Going all over the ridge on my bike. Corning neighbor's houses. Where I grew up, people down the road a mile or more were neighbors.
Good stuff coming from the garden starting about May and ending in September.
Building snow forts. Swimming in ponds.
But it wasn't all rosy. There are things I don't miss at all. I do prefer living in 2024 instead of 1974
? What the heck is 'corning a house'? I've heard of tp'ing a house, ding-dong ditch, etc. But that's something I've never heard of.
We had a bunch of corn fields around our house. We go get the corn from the field after it had been harvested. there was always some that the picker missed. Anyway, we would spend a week every night after school shelling the corn, putting it in sacks and then around Halloween we would walk around throwing corn at people's houses. Nobody really minded because many people had chickens. What wasn't kosher was stuffing people's mail boxes with corn
Ahh, thanks. Growing up in a small town in Wisconsin we also had lots of corn fields all over the place. But I never heard of anyone doing that. Guess it was a regional thing.
id take 74 in a heartbeat
Something to do on a boring weekday night up on the Ridge
I grew up in the Allegheny Mountains
I was 12 in 1974. I wanted to be a grown up so I didn't have to obey anybody and make my own rules
was never much for authority, as difficult as that may seem to sum, as been anti establishmeant for they to say uncle SAM (Stick Adult Maturation} 4 the duration, and i still due, make up my own rules, over and overtly, but, only B Cause i Ken, witt Kung Fu grip on my Kane, cause i'm Able, to make another my sister or orphaned brother, cause i'll become ones daddy, b cause i can b a mutha,unles playing Golf in and of Mexico, causei'd rather be the caddy driving the pro go shot into the drink, asz an Able Kane eye sea deeper than most think, even Barb, wired up for sound can't pass judgment, as i'm based in cement with steel stolen from rivers swollen by the reigns let loose to lament, from a tight papoose where know won ken tell me watt the herd heard when absurd is the word, and no How I Ken, can Patel....me nether
I also recall when people who were troubled could go into a church at any time and light a candle or say a prayer,
Now churches have to lock up when not in service out of fear of theft.
A lot of change does not qualify as "progress."
Vic
I live in a very small village (a couple too many people to be called a hamlet) and we seldom lock much of anything cars, garages etc - and it is normal to go into your neighbor's garage and borrow a tool even if they are not at home.
When I walk around the village people call me by name (that reminds of the little place I grew up in) and though we lack in the amenities of a city, we are okay with that.
Public buildings are locked at night and though thee are a variety of places of worship in and around the village the true center and heartbeat of the village is the library - meetings, parties, chess leagues, a place for the kids to hang in the winter when it is too cold to be outside etc.
Today when you live in the city people don't even say hello.
nonsense
John
I don't think he is talking about your immediate neighbors but rather city dwellers in general
When I used to visit my son in NYC and now in Baltimore and we walk around the city seeing the sights, I do not remember a single person saying "Hello", "How are You?", "Good Morning" - not once.
When I walk about the village these days there are always hello's and good mornings, but even better is "You got time for some coffee?"
That's where it should be. Not in some church where everybody believes in the same thing
What nonsense! There are probably more people living on my Bronx block than your entire hamlet. There is a huge difference between passing an individual or two on a lonely county road or on the village square and the hundreds of people on most NYC streets. My building is more comparable to most small burgs. We share common spaces and many expenses as we are a cooperative, which is similar to a rural electrical association or a farmer's co-op gin or grain elevator. In any case, we know each other, are generally friendly and do exchange greetings in passing. My personal experience is that people are generally friendlier here than in the Midwest.
I also recall how well people treated one another back then.
Why is common decency fading?
Ask Newt Gingritch.
seems to be correlations between our pols and their agendas on the publics persona and anxiety factors asz it depends a, for we see extreme factions on both sides causing examples, quite ample, to ignite the opposing polar pols to expose what as wholes, they are. In this extremism, we see the formation of factions, void of fact s , resulting in tion, tions are rarely vacated, so no vacate tions in the near future asz far asz we can see,asz's are & are not predicted. What is, is more 24/7 more Hell than Heaven media motivated to increase the tensions, as apprehensions, and pseudo fears, feed the frenzy, and depends see, on ones position, as a 68 to a 69, can mean much whence that one digit is lost behind, at least when its yours, for shores and scores been deleted over less, disrespectfully stated of and off course/coarse, when so much beech in is not re fine d , especially in a post analog whirled, where lost are digits, cause it dwarfs in comparison to the midgets, sucked and fckd under and up, by political whores
so damn corrupt
evilone
Ask Newt Gingritch.
Can you elaborate, to consider that one man has the answer or is responsible for the lack of common courtesy and deceny in out society seems impossible to me
I'll allow the WP to do the taking here.
A partisan would say.
evilone
The fading of decency and courtesy is a societal issue rather than a political one - we have all manner of right. left, middle, disinterested and those that change politics on a whim around here but we are all nice to each other.
Not everything good or bad about the world is politics
It started with politics and trickled into society
Where did I blame all partisanship on one person. I showed where the modern win at all costs ideals started. Everything after is to blame on all sides that took part.
You would know.
Our modern technically advanced society makes it easy for people to place their ego above the common good. I have a favorite saying from the Buddha , "destroy the ego". It is a lot easier said than done but less ego would make the world a better place
Then again we aren't better, or worse, just different where we are interacting immediately and often anonymously. Anyone that ever studied history and anthropology can show you any number of illustrations to prove the point. Just because you didn't experience discrimination, oppression or abject poverty doesn't mean it didn't happen.
Stellar comeback...
Did you get your degree at Trump University?
Why is common decency fading?
Because it is not taught to children by their parents.
We were taught to call people older than us sir and ma'am, to shut up when grownups were talking and to do as we wee told without a argument or head tossing.
I witnesses a teenager screaming at his mother in a store the other week because she couldn't afford to buy him something he wanted. I shook my head. Had I or one of my brothers ever did that to my mom (especially in public) our bodies might never have been found.
Speaking of that, how about when the whole family ate around the dinner table, and everyone enjoyed face-to-face conversations?
Yes, way back when before Reagan's union busting and the gop's failed experiments with krazy trickle down voodoo economics made it impossible for a family to live on only one income...
Speaking of that, how about when the whole family ate around the dinner table, and everyone enjoyed face-to-face conversations?
Vic
A great example
We still have a rule at our house that annoys my children and their wives, but absolutely drives our grandchildren crazy.
"No cell phones at Grandma's table"
jbb
We are not discussing politics, we are discussing our childhoods
By the by Eisenhower, Kennedy and Johnson were in the White House during the time I am talking about.
How about having the freedom to go out to play at an early age?
Remember that Bob?
Now we would never let young children go out alone.
Nope THAT ISN"T NOSTALGIA. That was a better time.
Yeah how about that?
Your simple logic isn't very sound. I'm pretty sure the family members of people who disappeared during those "better" times don't agree with you.
No, that was the progressive era.
evilone
I think Vic's logic is sound and I agree - I do not recall a single "child kidnapping" during my entire childhood and believe me we would have been put in backyard lockdown had one occurred in the area. It may depend on where you grew up as well.
Being a country boy (then and currently) I can certainly say that in my view it was a better time.
some people have a precise time they want to go back to. The 1950's, pre civil rights,, pre women's rights, pre free gay rights.
The implication being that all of these rights made society worse.
That is the nasty trope of the dirty left.
it is the truth
We didn't have 24/7 news cycles and social media. The link has 72 pages of missing persons in just the 1970s. A lot of cases were closed by local LEOs with the thin excuse that they "ran away from home". Things were not better, or worse. They were different for a million different reasons.
some people have a precise time they want to go back to. The 1950's, pre civil rights,, pre women's rights, pre free gay rights.
The implication being that all of these rights made society worse.
That is absolutely untrue
No matter what is being discussed, you want to stir up a fight.
We are talking about the good times, no one has insinuated or stated that things were perfect or that the changes you mention were not necessary and welcome changes - they were.
You give Vic too much credit for being a good actor. He takes every chance he can get to try and insult progressives
"No, that was the progressive era."
yes...he does
I'm one of those "indecent, morally corrupt, people" he intensely dislikes
Exactly! I grew up in the 70's. I had a lot of freedom but there were still warnings of stranger danger. Living out in the sticks I could see how young children/teens can go missing.
That's not a correlation, nor is it a rebuttal.
You will never pull the plank from your eye, will you?
[deleted]
How about having the freedom to go out to play at an early age?
Nope THAT ISN"T NOSTALGIA. That was a better time.
I recall leaving after breakfast and being gone all day (sometimes lunch was at our house for the whole bunch, sometimes at one of the neighbors) and we all knew we needed to be home, wshed up and ready for dinner when Dad got home from work.
I attended a Catholic school on the other side of the city. I was trained to take the bus to and from school when I was about 7 or 8. That can't really be done today.
Notice those who are trying to debate all of this.
Yep. Back in childhood, head out in the morning and we knew it was time to go home when the street lights started to turn on. I missed that for years, but thankful I am able to get that back in retirement.
no
I'm surprised it was so prevalent from 2009 to 2017 with Obama providing so many young children to sex traffickers.
It's the loss of a high trust society.
It's the loss of a high trust society
It is more than loss of trust,
- people need to blame someone for anything that happens to them (their misfortune is never their own fault).
- if someone is doing better than another it must be because they had an unfair advantage (not that they worked hard)
- people feel they ae entitled to things that we were taught we had to work hard to get.
someone can work hard, and take unfair advantage of other people. it happens all day every day somewhere
This seems to be a repeated theme of yours ,if people don't have something it means they dont work. There are a lot of people who work very hard and still don't advance materially much.
In a capitalist society and economy there will always be poor people. Because there is a race to the bottom wage structure that is inherent in capitalism there will always be people who make the least amount of money no matter how hard they work at their job.
I have no objection to capitalism , it has brought everyone a lot of material goods but it has to be regulated and mitigated because left alone it will be extremely unfair
I do agree that there are people out there that squander opportunites. And then there are people who don;t have the mental capacity to do much more than corral carts at Walmart. Do we call these people lazy? No, because they work hard at what they do but are not mentally capable of advancing beyond that
yea, a clown CEO who by genetics inhereted a fortune is worth thousands of times more than say an inner city teacher, dontcha think, no really, do you not think ?
That , wood be you plankton walker Texan Ranger
I grew up in a medium size town in the 50's and 60's. My childhood was defiantly different than my daughter's was in the 90's-00's. In the summer time I might leave the house after breakfast and not come back until supper time. by 6th grade, I rode my bike all over town and on the weekends took a bus to a downtown movie theatre on my own.
My town was once a thriving manufacturing center for vaults and safes, machine tools, typewriters, cash registers, cans for vegetables, paper, paper making machinery, locomotives, switches for railroads, diesel engines, foundry products, printing presses, and automobile parts. It reached it's maximum population of 72,000 in 1960. It's decline stared long before the Reagan years. The beginning of that was the decline of train travel and shipping compounded until recently by no direct Interstate access.
I live in a much larger, more more diverse, suburban county, about 20 miles from Wash DC. I'm not sure that there is really a decline in civility here. PTA membership is still strong, as are local adult sports leagues. Boy scouts and girl scouts are thriving and kid membership in team sports is high.
In a month I'll be 70 and I find myself getting more nostalgic has time passes. Sometimes I look at today's kids and think that I see a decline in competence and civility, but when I really think about it, it's more a change in my perspectives as I get old.
When haven't the elders of a society not complained about the younger generations.
I do recognize great divisiveness in our politics now. But we have certainly had that during other periods of our history. I think that this to will pass at some point but it might take a major crises (Depression, World War, Climate collapse) to see the benefits of unity outweighing the freedom of doing your own thing.
For those that spoke of times gone by and why those days were important to them and trigger comforting memories of a better, safer time - I thank you.
For those that took off on the typical I hate the left or I hate the right tangents. Thanks for trying to play the game, perhaps you will do better next time.