The #1 Thing Men Do On A First Date That Immediately Turns Women Off | Marina Margulis | YourTango
By: Marina Margulis
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
A male client recently raved to me about a thrilling first date he'd just had a few evenings prior.
According to him, he knew what to do on a first date and they hit it off from the start.
Conversation flowed and they seemed to have a lot in common. He kissed her goodnight and texted them when he got home.
Even though her text response was brief, he was fully expecting a second date to happen sometime soon.
Thrilled that he had such a great time, I called his date to follow up with her.
Her story, however, was quite different.
Yes, the date was good. Yes, they had a lot in common — more, in fact, than she, herself anticipated. She was having a wonderful time and she told him that. And that's when things took an accelerated turn for the worse.
It turn out, my client (as men often do) interpreted her statement that she was having a good time as a green light for him to move in... and get physical.
This, certainly, is not what turns a girl on. It all started with his request to kiss her. She giggled demurely and turned away. He persisted and even became angry when she resisted his "charms." This went on all through dessert and a walk home.
She saw a brief improvement after she told him that, perhaps, on a second date, they'll be more intimate. Brief, indeed.
As she was about to get into a cab, she attempted to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. Instead, he pulled her in and shoved his tongue so deep down her throat that for a split second she thought he was going to eat her face. Talk about a turn-off.
She was still shocked by the encounter when, halfway home, she received a text from my client about how much he enjoyed the evening and is looking forward to another one. The only thing she could respond with was a monosyllabic "OK." Another date was out of the question, as far as she was concerned.
Was his attempt at affection that bad and offensive, or was she overreacting? Gentlemen, this is a good place to point out that "overreacting" is a subjective term and you should never use it with a woman you're dating. Chances are, the use of that term to her face will most likely cause more of it — and with a vengeance!
Having said that, women generally have a low tolerance for smooching on a first date. Look, it's perfectly fine to kiss her goodnight. But it is NOT fine to feel her tonsils with your tongue while doing so. Believe me, guys, a few gentle, sensual pecks on her lips as you're saying goodbye are far more likely to guarantee you a second date.
Well, you wonder, what about everything in between? What if we're both feeling the chemistry and just can't help it? If you think the chemistry is there, a gentle (but clearly carnal) kiss goodnight will give her the almost-certain message that you like her — without giving her all of you at once. Save that for future dates.
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Nothing says romance like...give me a kiss baby...
what ever happened to break out the intoxicants and then wake up naked and go to breakfast later?
You mean saying I have a tub of lube and some scented candles doesn't work anymore?
I have to ask, why would a guy think it is ok to grab a woman and shove his tongue down her throat just because she said she was having a good time.
I admit I haven't been on a date in a long time but really.
Like the article said, maybe a peck on the cheek if things go well.
I gave up dating over a decade ago. at my age, I have no filter. when I was going thru my divorce, my granny offered me some advice. "if it floats, flies, or fucks, you're probably better off renting" naturally, my jaw hit the ground.
That's great. Did you tell her that she could have offered the advice before the wedding?
I'm almost convinced that there are many guys out there who just have no idea how dating or relationships work. Present company excepted, of course. I've had several chase after me pretty hard (and one went after a friend, when I wouldn't take him on) while still in a relationship - living with their girlfriends. One kept going on about how the relationship was really over, but the gf was early in pregnancy, so it clearly wasn't that over. Now the gf is talking about leaving him. Smart girl.
I was married for over 30 years and I'm still clueless.
No secret shall ever pass these kissing lips.
Spoil sport.