Trump's Arteries Unlikely to Serve Third Term
By: Andy Borowitz
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
Apr 01, 2025303
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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The arteries of Donald J. Trump are "extremely unlikely" to serve a third term in the White House, the blood vessels said on Tuesday.
In a social media post, the vascular tubes pushed back against Trump's recent musings about remaining in office beyond his second term.
"Leaving aside the constitutional issues, there are serious anatomical issues," the arteries said. "The pressure on us has been unbearable."
At the White House, Trump slammed his arteries' comments, telling reporters, "My circulatory system has treated me very unfairly."
TBR Question of the Day: Which parts of Trump's body have already failed?
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We know his brain has already failed. And we know he has no heart. His skin?
I'm being entertained by his morphing hairdo that's attempting to keep his ever expanding bald spot obscured from the cult ...
Didn't it use to be more orange?
To answer his brain failed a zillion orange skin treatments ago.