SPIES IN THE WHITE HOUSE - Chaos and Unrest in the Land (Satire)
CHAPTER V:
SPIES IN THE WHITE HOUSE! Chaos In The Land
Melania, Trump's mistress, former adulteress, now, wife of a Fake POTUS, real POS lives in the White House.
She was raised in Slovenia, a Communist country, by COMMUNIST PARENTS, educated at Communists schools. But, of course, Horse, she is "ain't no longer a communist."
Melania gave it all up to become a PORN STAR.
Today, her father, Viktor Knavs, the former head of the Communist Party in her town, in Slovenia, luxuriates in the White House!
It's America Great Again? Melania's mother, Amalija, (a former "Red Sparrow," and quite a "looker" in her day) is also, a life-long Communist, that now cuddles up with her hubby in the Lincoln Room where they drank Snopes and dance to old Lenin speech, according to our "sauce," Steve Bunions, a former "insider" turned "inside-outsider".
But, of course, Horse, her communist born and bred parents, second generation Communists, gave it up, as soon as their daughter, the "Gold Digger, Porn Star," married Trump!
Trump was considered a "catch" by the Knavs' Communist Family, stretching back generations, and was considered, a "Catch" by Putin, as well.
Snagging, "The Rich International Playboy," was a bonanza for her family and, greatly pleased the Kremlin, who secretly help arrange their first meeting at a cocktail party at a Russia Embassy, where Trump was attempting to "cut a deal."
Man, oh, man, did Trump get dealt!
Trump later bragged to Howard Stern, his Radio "Shock Jock" Buddy, that he "come on to her like a Bitch In Heat."
Now the entire Knavs Family have "moved on up to the White House."
Melania's brother, relatives and friends from Slovenia are, now, reformed Communists, as well. They need not to be "vetted because the "Stable Genius" says they are "good people," and "the Donald" has met a few "good people" in his life time. Not many, but a few . . . "too few to mention."
The CIA, FBI, and, America's 17 Intelligence Agencies are "heretical," according to the Commander-In-Bull Chips. "They don't know what the Hell they are talking about," Trump shouted back at his first Press Conference, when a reporter asked him if they were "vetted", or, might be "seen by some" in the Intelligence Community as a "security risk?"
I know more about Intelligence, probably, that anyone in the world. I have a "very high I.Q. Well, above the average American's range of 80." At, which point all of Trump's supporter pulled out their guns and pointed them at the rude reporters, who quickly fell into line.
"Everyone that is anyone knows that 'the Donald' is the number one patriot in 'Murica," interceded Mick Pence, the new V.P, (hoping to be president when Trump got impeached).
Pence, every the consummate suck-up, elaborated, "Trump is working night and day to help Americans become rich like he is!"
Trump jumped and with his famous one-liner, "all of those peons in the Intelligence Agencies are just FAKES scum-bums, installed by Putin, when Obama let his guard down!"
Trump supporters immediately broke out into a arcus applause, with some beating that reporter to a pulp, while Trump grinned "ear to big ear."
Folks, "Who you gonna believe? Your lying eyes or the Commander-In-Lies?"
We Distort, sort of! You Decide!
Trump announced that he would be meeting with a cluster f*** (a technical term) group of Right Wing, Evangelical, Dim-Witted Christians weekly!
The important group will be chaired by that "Jesus Lover", Vice President Pence (nicked named, "the Dunce," by Trump). Trump continued, although, it was clear that no one was interested in a damn thing the POTUS said, they just wanted to get the hell out of there, ASAP.
Trump droned on, "This highly respected group of fervent religious dignitary will assemble in the West Wing along with 54 top level members of the White House and Congress."
One of the still conscious reporters, shouted out, out, of place, of course, Horse, as all liberal reporters are want to do, "But, Mister President that room only hold 18 people."
Trump, not rattled by rude reporters interrupting him, shot back, "STFU!"
And, the reporter did. It was Trump's authoritative handling, or, the whack on the back of the head from Trump's Security Team, that silenced the reporter, who hit the floor like a ton of brick. (or, I should point out with the ton of bricks that are installed in the celling of the Press Room, in anticipation of this exact scenario.
Trump without even a blink of an eyelash, just soldiered on, "We have got to bring back 'Family Values' after that Pagan, Obama Yo Mama soiled the White House with his liberalism!
"This meeting will replace my morning Security Meeting with those Dopes from the C.I.A and be 'officially designated' as the White House HOLY ROLLER BIBLE STUDY Group!
"It will, of course, Horse, chaired, by that Great White Biblical, Self-Proclaimed Scholar, Ralph Drollinger, founder of Capitol Ministry!
"Pastor Drollinger will solve this damn Pandemic by May 1st, or, he will no longer exist!"
Pastor Drollinger, rose from the Press Room floor, like Lazarus from the dead, and proclaimed for all to hear, even for those three block that the "Corona Virus Pandemic was created by GOD to punish the wicked. You know who I am talkin' about Gays, Lesbos, Transgender - Benders!" Then, like all Evangelicals broke out in "Talking-In-Tongue", which ended the Press conference.
The "Good Brother" Drollinger kept right on "preaching" for eight hours without a sole left in the White House. Everyone leave at 12 noon and never return until the next morning, sharply at 10: 30 A.M. just in time for their Morning Snack break.
Trump does not believe in working his people too hard, or, at all.
Among those VIPs in attendance at these "Spiritual Briefings," includes the Secretary of State, Pompeo (aka Pompous Arse), William Barr, U. S. Attorney General (an avowed Right Wing, Conservative Catholic Extremist) and, Betty DeVos, Secretary of Education, who wants to get rid of Public Education because her husband is heavily invested in CHARTER SCHOOLS!
No "Conflict of Interest," there, of course, Horse. Public officials got to eat, too.
"Don't Worry - Be Happy," the Jesus appointed Trump POTUS!
"Everything is gonna be alright, as soon as the Homos, Sinners, Democrats die off and the country is cleansed," so sayeth Trump's SPIRITUAL ADVISER, (WTF her name) who has her own office in the White House, also.
This Witch, turned "White House Spiritual Advisor to Trump," preaches to her flock that they should, "Not Pay Your Bills! Send the Money to The Church!"
(Of, course, Horse, she means her church.)
All is Well, Hells Bells!
Screw the Constitution! Screw the "Separation of Church & State!" Trump is here to change all dat SHAT!
AUTHOR'S ASIDE, Penned from the Penn:
Today, evangelicals' live-on, in the re-imagined EVIL-GENITALS, of so-called, "Christian Churches," established, hourly by "self-proclaimed preachers, who came to "The Jesus," after an all night drunk, face-up on the barroom floor.
One of the world's most renowned female Preacher is currently sleeping with Trump in the White House, since, Melania has "pretty much" completed her Russian Red Sparrow job for Putin and is moving to Russia to be with Vladimir, or, to be butchered.
Tele-Evangelist lunatics are becoming "filthy rich," with bulging assets in the "Hundreds of Millions of Dollars!"
They are, like Trump, under the control of GOD, who directs them in everything they do, even helps this with driving.
Therefore, their mission, as their GOD instruct them is to totally demand strict adherence to the Rules & Laws of their church, regardless of the teachings of Jesus.
These folks (the followers of the Self-Made Multi-Millionaire Preachers ) are easily recognized!
They are the ones on local school boards waving their well-worn, tattered bible in one diamond-ring bejeweled hand, while simultaneously cleaning their AR-15 in the other.
You know, folks, don't ya, that "The Jesus" was (in his day) head of an "Armed Militia" that collected, er , demanded money from the poor and "Loved War-Not Peace!"
It's in the Bible, somewhere.
Here, at the "less than prestigious," Eat The Press - Do Not Let Your Children Wipe Their Nose On It (it will blacken it permanently due to our use of the cheapest ink on the market Trump Ink) recently concluded, after a lengthy (for us) 30 second heated debate, "That, be it for ordained, thus forth, that these Arse Wipes are NOT tightly wrapped!"
- Jonathan Livingston Pigeon, Chair, Table & Bookcase.
Who is online
432 visitors